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What A Day: Wait And Conspira-See

FILE - Former President Joe Biden speaks at a conference in Chicago, April 15, 2025. (AP Photo/Nam Y. Huh, File)

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FILE - Former President Joe Biden speaks at a conference in Chicago, April 15, 2025. (AP Photo/Nam Y. Huh, File)

FAR-RIGHT WRONGS

MAGA jumped feet-first into conspiracy theories about Joe Biden’s cancer diagnosis, in yet another sign of how toxic and divided this country’s politics have become.

  • President Joe Biden’s announcement that he has an aggressive prostate cancer prompted an outpouring of sympathy from around the country. But the somber news landed differently in some corners of MAGAworld, which wasted no time jumping to conclusions. Don Trump Jr. reacted with the kind of thoughtful generosity for which he’s known… by launching a conspiratorial attack on Biden’s wife. “What I want to know is how did Dr. Jill Biden miss stage five metastatic cancer or is this yet another coverup???” he posted, misstating even the type of cancer itself, which is stage 4. (Also, Jill is not a medical doctor.)
  • The bombshell news is being wielded as a political weapon for Trump’s top allies. “Whether the right time to have this conversation is now or some time in the future, we really do need to be honest about whether the former president was capable of doing the job,” Vice President JD Vance told reporters today, talking about the diagnosis. One prominent MAGA YouTuber called people in Biden’s orbit “evil” for allegedly hiding his condition. The Daily Wire’s Matt Walsh called for a congressional investigation.
  • But they’re all missing a key point: We actually don’t know whether the disease would have been caught earlier. Cancer is enigmatic, writes physician Benjamin Mazer, and “prostate cancer in particular may not become apparent until an individual goes to his doctor with a minor complaint — in Biden’s case, urinary symptoms, according to the announcement — only to have further testing discover the worst.” In other words, there’s no point in making baseless assumptions before we know more facts.
  • Doctors often stop screening for prostate cancer when patients are around 75 years old, “because after that, the prostate cancers you typically pick up are very slow growing,” said Dr. Céline Gounder, CBS News medical contributor. “The harms of all of the testing and treatment for something that may not kill you — you’re talking about risk versus benefit. It may not be worth the risk.”

What’s lacking in this debate, perhaps unsurprisingly, is a sense of humanity.

  • There’s an estimated 2 million new cancer cases in the U.S. each year, more than 300,000 of which are prostate-related. “Cancer touches us all,” Biden wrote on social media, next to a smiling selfie. “Like so many of you, Jill and I have learned that we are strongest in the broken places. Thank you for lifting us up with love and support.”
  • His announcement comes at a complicated moment in politics. Democrats are struggling to move beyond his legacy, and a forthcoming book is prompting debate about his health and doomed campaign for reelection. Still, it’s remarkable what some people will say about their political opponents at moments like these, in our woe-begotten times.
  • “It’s not surprising that the right wing would jump on this and try to exploit a cancer diagnosis for their political benefit,” a former senior Biden official told What A Day. “Our partisan divide just makes it way too easy for internet trolls to spread doubts about a leader’s medical condition,” another told me.

Even whackadoo far-right politicians (like Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene) have managed to have some decency during this difficult news cycle. Let’s hope others do the same.

ICE CREAM DREAMIN’

I learned something from you amazing What A Day readers over the weekend: You all scream for ice cream.

In an earlier edition, I asked: What new Ben & Jerry’s flavor should be invented to commemorate Ben Cohen’s protest on Capitol Hill last week? More than 2,300 of you voted for your favorite imaginary ice cream submitted by fellow readers — and it was a close one.

With 15 percent of the vote, the winner is… Peachful Protest! Fudge the System came in second with 14 percent, and Constitutional Crunch received 11 percent.

“I am truly honoured!” wrote Canadian resident David, the Peachful Protest man. So, what should be in the ice cream? “I think some peach cobbler with Canadian grown peaches from Ontario (with no offense to the good people of Georgia, I like my peaches tariff-free).”

Some of you sent hilariously creative ice cream titles that I didn’t include in the poll, because while they may have sounded funny, they probably wouldn’t be anything we’d really want to eat. These include RFK Jr’s Rocky Roadkill Supreme, Greedy Chunk Boy, and Big Orange Dumbass — described as orange ice cream mixed with Big Mac chunks.

Here at Crooked Media, my colleagues started cracking jokes about QAnon-themed ice cream flavors: Cake News, Stop the Peel (banana flavor), Stop the Steel-Cut Oatmeal, Infos’mores, Deep State Strawberry and Neolib-politan. Then, of course, there’s Pod Save Americone.

Here’s the plan: I’ve always wanted to try making ice cream (and no, I’ve never done it before, lol). I’m going to do some research, and then try my hand at making the top three winning ice cream flavors in the coming weeks, and then conduct a taste test with my co-workers… and report back here with the results.

Wish me luck! Thank you all for indulging this objectively silly side quest. I’ll let you know how it goes (and share the recipes)!

“EAT THE TARIFFS.”   — Donald Trump, urging Walmart to swallow the increased costs caused by his trade war

NEWS NEWS NEWS

Donald Trump said that Russia and Ukraine will start ceasefire negotiations soon, following his two-hour call with Russia dictator Vladimir Putin today. But Putin said afterwards that Russia’s position in negotiations remains unchanged. “Nothing has changed. Putin is just prolonging the war again and again with different methods,” a person close to Ukrainian leadership told What A Day.

Israel plans to take over all of the Gaza Strip, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu announced. Meanwhile, Vice President JD Vance decided to not visit Israel during a recent trip because he didn’t want to validate the country’s military operations, Axios reports. Uh, if that’s how you feel… you could stop sending billions worth of bombs and weapons???

Trump’s global tariffs will cost average American households more than $2,300 a year, according to Yale Budget Lab. This eye-popping estimate comes after Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent admitted on Sunday that some of the tariff costs “may get passed on” to Walmart shoppers. For his part, Trump urged the company to “eat the tariffs.” Should Walmart eat the cats, too?

CBS News President Wendy McMahon announced today that she’s leaving her job because of the recent disputes between the company’s news division and the Trump administration: “It’s become clear the company and I do not agree on the path forward.” Paramount, which owns CBS and is in talks to settle a $20 billion lawsuit with the Trump administration, has come under fire for seemingly appeasing the president.

The Supreme Court is allowing the Trump administration to strip temporary protection status from some 350,000 Venezuelans in the United States, who have been allowed to stay here because of political turmoil in their country.

Vance and Secretary of State Marco Rubio met Pope Leo at the Vatican today, in which there was “an exchange of views on some current international issues,” according to a Vatican statement. Vance also gifted Leo, a Chi-town native, a personalized Chicago Bears jersey. I’d really prefer if we kept Vance away from the pope this time around, please!

Remember how Trump said Taylor Swift is no longer “HOT” last week? Well, Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt was asked today what he meant by that: “Look, he is speaking about Taylor Swift’s political views and how perhaps it has impacted the support of the American public for her work. I will leave it at that.” This is a classic case of cleaning up what Trump actually said, like a political Zamboni.

Turbulent waters and winds may have contributed to the Mexican Navy ship crashing into the Brooklyn Bridge over the weekend, which killed two sailors and injured 19 others. Footage shows the boat hurdling toward the bridge in reverse at full speed, suggesting the captain lost control.

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