LET THEM FLY COACH

Donald Trump warns American children to expect fewer dolls, while MAGAworld basks in the luxuries of corruption and government waste.

• President Donald Trump won the White House again with the slogan: Make America Great Again. Once he got there, though, his philosophy has shifted to something more like: Let Them Fly Coach!  

• The price tag for Trump’s “free” gift plane from Qatar keeps going up. The super luxury jumbo plane he’s expected to receive would likely need fighter jet escorts and might only be allowed to fly inside the United States — unless it receives an extremely costly upgrade, experts say. That could cost more than $1 billion and take years to retrofit the plane, known as the “palace in the sky,” to serve as Air Force One, according to estimates.

• “They would essentially have to [take] it almost completely apart,” a former senior Trump defense official told What A Day. “I believe it would cost around $700 million, and potentially take longer than starting from scratch.” Now this is what I call efficiency. A current Pentagon employee put it this way: “What a fucking joke.”

• Qatar’s prime minister described the gift to Trump as “very simple government-to-government dealing … we will not do anything illegal.” Wow, I feel reassured already! It’s like that time Trump vowed that his business would be “very legal & very cool.” I mean… would a convicted felon say that?

• Trumpworld’s ties to the Middle Eastern monarchy run stunningly deep. Here’s the rundown: FBI Director Kash Patel worked as a consultant for the embassy of Qatar — but he hasn’t disclosed exactly what he did, or how much he was paid. Trump aide Steve Witkoff’s company sold a hotel to Qatar’s sovereign wealth fund for $623 million. U.S. Ambassador to Israel Mike Huckabee was once paid $50,000 to visit the country. (Pretty sweet gig if you can find it…) The Trump Organization recently struck a deal to build a luxury golf course in Qatar. And, of course, Attorney General Pam Bondi literally worked as a foreign lobbyist for Qatar.

It looks like DHS Secretary Kristi Noem — who has lately earned the social media moniker “ICE Barbie ” due to her frequent photoshoots with immigration agents — might be jealous of Trump’s new ride.

• She wants a fresh Gulfstream V plane  to fly around in, even though she already has one. It would cost $50 million, which would be taken out of the Coast Guard budget, according to Rep. Lauren Underwood (D-IL). DHS defended the jet upgrade as “a matter of safety.”

• The government waste doesn’t end there — Trump has to throw himself a bangin’ birthday party! His military parade in Washington, D.C. next month, which conveniently falls on his 79th birthday, may include two dozen tanks and could cost $45 million, Reuters reports .

• Others have kept things more discreet: Bondi sold between $1 million and $5 million worth of Trump Media stocks on the day the president announced his controversial tariff plan… which sent the stock market plummeting, according to records obtained by ProPublica. The Department of Justice didn’t return requests for comment from ProPublica or What A Day.

Between Trump’s affinity for gaudy gold-plated decor, billionaire-class jet planes, and a birthday bash, it’s clear that he’s having a “Marie Antoinette moment,” as the New Yorker’s Susan Glasser recently put it.

COURT OF BLAH

Should anyone born in this country automatically become a U.S. citizen? And should judges have the power to strike down Donald Trump’s action nationwide, if they run afoul of the Constitution?

Both those issues were at play in the Supreme Court today, in a high-stakes two-hour hearing that could potentially overturn long-settled precedent.

The Trump administration has faced 40 nationwide injunctions since Trump took office, which it views as unfairly curtailing its agenda… even when it does blatantly unconstitutional shit, like trying to take away birthright citizenship.

Justice Clarence Thomas said the United States “survived until the 1960s” without nationwide injunctions. (Friendly reminder that his wife was deeply involved in trying to keep Trump in office despite losing an election, and here he is trying to expand Trump’s power.)

On the other hand, Justice Elena Kagan said that it’s weird to use birthright citizenship as the case to roll back injunctions: “Every court has ruled against you,” she said.

In fairness, both the Trump and Biden administrations complained about judicial overreach, arguing that the nationwide injunctions shouldn’t apply to people who aren’t suing. A crucial difference here, though, is that Trump’s pushback comes as part of a sweeping attack on the entire court system — which is prompting legal scholars to warn of a constitutional crisis and a lurch toward authoritarianism.

“Birthright citizenship needs to apply nationally,” State Attorney General Nick Brown (D-WA) told the What A Day podcast. “I can’t imagine that the Supreme Court would try to limit the scope of this injunction, but they’ve obviously decided to hear that issue and we have to see what happens.”

NEWS NEWS NEWS

Walmart warned that it will raise prices due to Donald Trump’s tariffs, after pledging to hold the line and absorb costs. The tariffs have been too much, even after the U.S. and China struck a trade deal, Walmart CEO Doug McMillon said during an earnings call today: “We will do our best to keep our prices as low as possible.” (BTW, this guy made $27.4 million  last year.)

Trump said the U.S. and Iran have “sort of” agreed to the terms for a deal to limit the country’s nuclear program. “They’re not going to make, I call it, in a friendly way, nuclear dust,” Trump said at a business event in the United Arab Emirates. “We’re not going to be making any nuclear dust in Iran.” Sooooo… are we “sort of” avoiding a war with Iran? That sounds… uh, “sort of” good???

Even some people in Bidenworld admit that Trump’s moves in the Middle East, such as removing sanctions from Syria, are strikingly audacious. “Gosh, I wish I could work for an administration that could move that quickly,” one former Biden administration official told Axios. Crooked’s Tommy Vietor praised the sanctions relief: “This is a politically fraught decision that is absolutely the right thing to do,” he tweeted. (None of this wipes away the fact that this guy is talking about annexing Greenland and Canada and once slapped tariffs on penguins, but okay, I get it.)

Trump said there won’t be any progress on Russia-Ukraine peace talks until he meets with Russian dictator Vladimir Putin, whenever that may be. Putin was set to meet with Ukrainian President Voodymyr Zelenskyy in Turkey today to hash things out… but Putin bailed, sending lower-level officials out for a total nothingburger.

The Department of Justice is looking into UnitedHealthcare Group for possible criminal Medicare fraud, the Wall Street Journal reports. The healthcare giant said it hadn’t been notified about the probe and stands “by the integrity of our Medicare Advantage program.”

Democratic state lawmakers in Texas proposed a resolution to ban Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) from attending college playoff games because he’s “a well-known curse” for the teams. “The nine scariest words for any college fan to hear are ‘I’m Ted Cruz, and I’m coming to your game,’” one lawmaker said. This gives me a good idea for a horror film franchise.

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