What A Day: Vlad to the Bone | Crooked Media
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What A Day: Vlad to the Bone

FILE - President Donald Trump, right, meets with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy in the Oval Office at the White House, Feb. 28, 2025, in Washington. (AP Photo/ Mystyslav Chernov, File)

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FILE - President Donald Trump, right, meets with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy in the Oval Office at the White House, Feb. 28, 2025, in Washington. (AP Photo/ Mystyslav Chernov, File)

CRÈME DE LA KREMLIN

Donald Trump is suddenly backing Ukraine in its war against Russia. He seems to have finally realized that Vladimir Putin has been playing him like a fiddle.

 

  • President Donald Trump’s bizarre bromance with Russian dictator Vladimir Putin is a thing of legend. Trump sent love letters and Covid tests to the Kremlin, and even invited the strongman to a Miss Universe pageant. “Will he become my new best friend?” Trump mused in 2013. Trump’s fondness for Putin prompted endless questions during his first term. Before Russia’s invasion, Trump described Putin as a “genius” for moving to seize parts of Ukraine. “How smart is that? And he’s going to go in and be a peacekeeper … Here’s a guy who’s very savvy. I know him very well.”

 

  • This week, Trump appears to finally have gotten the hint: He’s just not that into you. Yesterday, Trump vowed to send new weapons to Ukraine and threatened to impose 100 percent tariffs on Moscow if Putin doesn’t end the fighting within 50 days. The sudden about-face was prompted by the Kremlin stringing Washington along on peace talks: “The president has given him chance after chance, but enough is enough,” a White House official said. Translation: We got our asses handed to us.

 

  • Russia dismissed Trump’s threat as a “theatrical ultimatum.” But Trump seems serious about his revenge tour. In a recent call, Trump reportedly asked Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy: “Can you hit Moscow? . . . Can you hit St. Petersburg too?” Zelenskyy replied: “Absolutely. We can if you give us the weapons.” (The White House later explained that Trump does not want Ukraine to strike Moscow, although the exact details of this exchange remain murky.)

 

  • Was Trump replaced by a dopplegänger? Or three Ukrainian racoons inside a floppy suit and a rubber Trump mask? Did someone sneak into the White House and rewire Trump’s brain while he was sleeping? Probably not. He was simply humiliated and changed his mind. “It was quite predictable that Trump would run into the wall of hypocrisy that Putin has built. Apparently, he has realized that Russia, not Ukraine, is the problem for peace,” a person close to Ukraine’s leadership told What A Day.

 

  • Trump is also catching an earful about Putin… from his wife. First Lady Melania Trump isn’t known for diving into policy. But apparently she’s been talking to Trump about the war — and having an impact. “I go home, I tell the first lady, ‘You know, I spoke to Vladimir today. We had a wonderful conversation.’ And she said, ‘Oh really? Another city was just hit,’” Trump told reporters yesterday.
Ukraine is pumped about Trump’s new views — but wants even more support.

 

  • Putin isn’t fazed by Trump’s threats and plans to keep fighting until Washington engages in peace talks on his terms, three people close to the Kremlin told Reuters. He also may increase the amount of Ukrainian territory his troops attempt to seize as they advance: “He will continue until he gets what he wants,” one of the people said.

 

  • Trump’s current support “is still not enough to force Putin to make peace,” Ukrainian lawmaker Yehor Cherniev told What A Day, adding that he wants the U.S. to provide Ukraine with long-range missiles. “Russia feels self-confident because it does not believe in the determination and strength of the United States, and also because it feels that China is behind it.”

When Trump took office in January, Trump pledged to end war within 24 hours. He has missed that self-imposed deadline by *checks calendar* roughly 4,200 hours.

 

BREAKING BENJAMINS

Few things bring Americans together like their shared loathing for the grubby way politicians rub up against their big piles of money. With that in mind, let’s all gather ‘round and detest what a few big D.C. names got up to this week, shall we?
First up: Former Sen. Kyrsten Sinema (I-AZ). She isn’t running for office again… but her campaign committee members keep dropping Benjamins everywhere they go. The committee spent $391,000 on American Airlines plane fares, tickets to concert venues for her security detail, “protective equipment” at a gun shop, “meetings expenses” at a winery, and “security detail ski tickets,” according to FEC filings from March 31 to June 30.
“It is hard to see how Sinema can credibly argue that luxury hotels, meal expenses, and extensive air travel are connected to her candidacy or officeholder duties, given that she is no longer a candidate or officeholder,” Brendan Fischer, deputy executive director of an investigative watchdog organization, told NOTUS. Sinema’s committee didn’t return a request for comment.
The White House also appears to be wasting buckets of money: Donald Trump ousted Mike Waltz as his national security adviser months ago — but has continued paying him an annual salary of $195,200. What has he even been doing???
In another hilarious case of financial mismanagement, Rep. Cory Mills (R-FL) is being sued by his Washington, D.C. landlord, who alleges that the MAGA lawmaker owes $85,000 in unpaid rent on his penthouse apartment. The landlord is trying to have Mills evicted.
In a post on X, Mills suggested he was having technical difficulties with the payment platform. “It failed to process,” he wrote.
I wonder how chill my landlord would be if I owed them *checks notes* eighty thousand bucks?
"You’re not allowed to call it coal. You have to call it 'clean, beautiful coal.'” — Donald Trump, describing the objectively filthy fossil fuel.

NEWS NEWS NEWS

Donald Trump’s global trade war is starting to make life in America more expensive — just like economists said it would. Inflation accelerated to 2.7 percent last month. That’s more than economists expected: Prices rose 0.1 percent in May, and 0.3 percent in June. And, yes, the price of groceries — that “old fashioned term” — rose, too.
Millions of undocumented immigrants who entered the U.S. illegally are no longer eligible for bond hearings ahead of their deportations, according to a memo written by acting ICE Director Todd Lyons. Immigrants should be detained “for the duration of their removal proceedings,” which can take years, he wrote. The policy is expected to face legal challenges.
Attorney General Pam Bondi fired the ethics watchdog in charge of making sure her office operates without conflicts of interest. He’s just the latest Department of Justice official to go, as Bondi seems to be trying to remake the department into Trump’s personal law firm. The DOJ declined to explain why it fired the ethics guy, which hardly looks less suspicious.
Heavy flooding hit New Jersey and New York last night and continued this morning, killing two people. A viral video shows water rushing into NYC’s subway, in what must’ve been one of the scariest after-work commutes in history. No thanks! Climate change is starting to look like the opening scenes of a Marvel movie.

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