My Bloody Valentine (1981) | Crooked Media
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December 19, 2023
Ruined with Alison Leiby and Halle Kiefer
My Bloody Valentine (1981)

In This Episode

Halle and Alison go party in the mines to ruin My Bloody Valentine (1981).






[theme music]: If scary movies give you dread. Keep you up late night in bed, here’s a podcast that will help you ease your mind. We’ll explain the plot real nicely then we’ll talk about what’s frightening, so you never have to have a spooky time. It’s Ruined.


Halle Kiefer: Oh, hello. Welcome to Ruined. I’m Halle. 


Alison Leiby: And I’m Alison. 


Halle Kiefer: And this is a podcast where we ruin a horror movie just for you. 


Alison Leiby: Just for all of you. I can’t believe it’s December. 


Halle Kiefer: I don’t know how I. Listen. People say it every year. I don’t know how it happened. I don’t. How did it happen?


Alison Leiby: How did it happen? I don’t know. I don’t know. When you’re listening to this, it’s much like it’s December 1st for us, but it’s later in December for for wherever your ears are. 


Halle Kiefer: Yeah. The future. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah. So we’re like taking a little break for the holidays just to stay sane, but we invite you if you are craving more Ruined and you’re not a Patreon member to please enjoy our our dozens or hundreds. How many movies are in our Patreon—


Halle Kiefer: I’m not a number gal. I’ll tell you that much. Dozens at least. At least dozens. Yeah. 


Alison Leiby: We’re not numbers. We’re not time, we’re not space. We’re not science. But we are gals in the void. And there are so many, like, there’s a lot of good bangers in there that I forget are in the Patreon and are not in the main feed. That if you have not heard, I mean, like you want Human Centipede. We did Human. I mean, we didn’t do Human Centipede [laughs] but we covered that. 


Halle Kiefer: Speak for yourself. [laughs] No, but I did see you have sex with the Human Centipede. 


Alison Leiby: Yes. 


Halle Kiefer: And I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that and give you two big thumbs up Alison. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah. Family fun. [laughs]


Halle Kiefer: Oh right. The Human Centipede is your family. That’s right. I forgot. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah. It’s all fun.


Halle Kiefer: We also did Teeth. That was a great one—


Alison Leiby: Oh, Teeth was great. 


Halle Kiefer: —excellent. Cloverfield, of course. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah. Tremors from last month’s they ate theme is in there. I have a friend Kristen friend of the pod was like she like texted me she was like, You did Tremors? I have to listen right now so like there’s a lot of good gems in the—


Halle Kiefer: The Others. [both speaking] Shutter Island. C.H.U.D. 


Alison Leiby: C.H.U.D. So if you have not joined our Patreon, you can. There’s a bunch of different tiers and a bunch of different things. I mean, like ad free episodes of the main feed, you get them in advance, too. I think Monday’s episodes drop. Oof. We should—


Halle Kiefer: I don’t know why you are just wilin out with you giving them numbers and facts. That is not our strong suit, okay? 


Alison Leiby: No, no, it is not. But you get episodes early. You get episodes without ads and there’s bonus episodes and live show tickets included in different tiers. So like, go check out Boy, we don’t know. Don’t ask us. 


Halle Kiefer: Wow, we did a great job. But yeah, but the the the point of the point of the end of the sentence is if you would like more of this, there is so much more that you can listen to.


Alison Leiby: If you want more of this specifically. 


Halle Kiefer: This is there we have a volume that is staggering. Look, are we ever going to get the reach of, say, a Joe Rogan? No. 


Alison Leiby: No. 


Halle Kiefer: But we I would like to get to the per month episode listen of Joe Rogan. I want you to be listening to us. Every waking moment.


Alison Leiby: Constantly. Every second. And we’ll have enough content for you to do that. So do that. 


Halle Kiefer: So do that.


Alison Leiby: Join our Patreon if that is of interest to you and oh there’s video like if you’re listening to that and you’re like, I wonder what it looks like when they record this. Wow, you can find out. 


Halle Kiefer: I don’t know why. 


Alison Leiby: I don’t know why—


Halle Kiefer: We do it. Again. If you get to middle aged women without makeup on in the morning. 


Alison Leiby: My computer barely has a camera. 


Halle Kiefer: Again. What kind of perverts you are? You enjoy that. But thank you very much for watching it. We appreciate it.


Alison Leiby: That’s something you like that is there. So I don’t know. Just this is our our plug and plea for you to join the Patreon if you haven’t yet, because we’re supposed to promote ourselves. 


Halle Kiefer: Absolutely. And look, we—


Alison Leiby: We are not good at that, or many other things. So.


Halle Kiefer: We need to get Alison a two bedroom for the Human Centipede. 


Alison Leiby: [laughs] Right, right now. It’s just like living in the hallway. 


Halle Kiefer: Yeah. Sleeping on a a big dog bed. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah. All right. Well, Halle, how are you?


Halle Kiefer: I’m in rage. I’ve got a terrible mood, so I’m glad that we’re doing this because I was I’m in a better mood after we record—


Alison Leiby: Me too. 


Halle Kiefer: I am just, you know, the just unsatisfied with the world. 


Alison Leiby: Yes. 


Halle Kiefer: I am in a funk. I am. I’m moody. How about you? 


Alison Leiby: Same across the board. 


Halle Kiefer: Mm hmm. 


Alison Leiby: And add in that I just inhaled a chicken tenders Caesar salad. 


Halle Kiefer: Oh. 


Alison Leiby: My number one food. But eating salad quickly. That’s not fun. 


Halle Kiefer: That’s how you’re going to die. 


Alison Leiby: I feel like I’m lawnmower [sound effect] just eating like crunchies. 


Halle Kiefer: Lawnmower woman.


Alison Leiby: Lawnmower woman. So that, yeah, I’m feeling similar. And it being the end of the year certainly doesn’t help the other existential and global. 


Halle Kiefer: Yeah. 


Alison Leiby: Depressing news items that are constantly just like flying at us through our screens. 


Halle Kiefer: But, George Santos just got voted out. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah. 


Halle Kiefer: Honestly, he is again a symptom of the colossal rotten molar that is the American. Political system. But he was one of the more fun ones. You know—


Alison Leiby: I know. 


Halle Kiefer: He made us laugh. He had a sense, I don’t know if he had a sense of humor, but he was a sense of humor. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah. Yeah, He does feel like a Veep character. Like it is like. Like. 


Halle Kiefer: 100%. 


Alison Leiby: You’re like, how was this happening? And we were all like, I don’t know. 


Halle Kiefer: I think he also thought that. And then we left today. He said, To hell with this place. Why would I want to be here? It’s like there is some truth to that—


Alison Leiby: That’s the way I want to leave. When I got fired from things moving forward. 


Halle Kiefer: And it just shows like anyone can be president. And it’s like we used to hear that as kids and be like, Oh, that’s encouraging. And now it fills me with terror. 


Alison Leiby: It’s a threat. 


Halle Kiefer: Oh, anyone. [laughter] You think this motherfucker couldn’t become president? Wrong.


Alison Leiby: Yeah. The dumbest person you know can become president. So.


Halle Kiefer: The most evil person, you know, it doesn’t matter. All they have to have is kind of a—


Alison Leiby: Some money. 


Halle Kiefer: Je ne sais quoi.


Alison Leiby: Yeah. 


Halle Kiefer: And then they’re good to go. But you know R.I.P. to George Santos or whatever his actual name is again I believe he has an assumed identity. 


Alison Leiby: Who could know? Certainly not us. 


Halle Kiefer: He will be going to prison, though, whatever his identity is now, and we wish him well. 




Halle Kiefer: Let’s get into it. We are doing— 


Alison Leiby: Let’s get into it. 


Halle Kiefer: Party horror for the month—


Alison Leiby: I thought you were saying party whore like w, h, o, r, e.


Halle Kiefer: You know yeah I just I’ve definitely had no, I never had a full party whore phase. I wish I, I guess I could do it now, but at 40, it just reads really different, you know. 


Alison Leiby: Just exhausting. 


Halle Kiefer: I the parties have to be at 4 p.m.. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah. 


Halle Kiefer: It has to be during the day whore situation and I also am not drinking so it [both speaking] would have to be dead sober good that’s you know that’s what you want but not party whores what you’re saying.


Alison Leiby: Not a party whore I don’t know, it probably tread on that a little bit at times depending on who you talk to. But you know what? You know, I was young and now I’m tired.


Halle Kiefer: 40 is the new 30, you know what I mean? 


Alison Leiby: I just want to lay down with the cat all night. 


Halle Kiefer: And again, you can do that as long as the party is at 4 p.m.. Please start holding parties at 4 p.m.. 


Alison Leiby: Yes so I can be asleep by nine. 


Halle Kiefer: Yeah. Middle age whoredom. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah. 


Halle Kiefer: But I was gonna say, party horror movies which we are we’re doing for the festive season and we’re doing a movie that you might think, ell you should do this in February. And to which I say I didn’t want to. I wanted to watch it now. 


Alison Leiby: Yes. 


Halle Kiefer: So that movie is, of course, the original My Bloody Valentine from 1981. And it was, of course, remade. I hadn’t seen either. I have not, of course, seen the remake as of yet, but this was an absolute treat and I’m so glad what had some real fun moments. It’s a Canadian film directed by  George Mihalka written by John Beaird. It was a blast and a half, and I couldn’t have enjoyed it more if you’d paid me, which I guess in some sense that’s that’s the goal of this. 


Alison Leiby: Yes. 


Halle Kiefer: Eventually. And it has an actor named Neil Affleck. So I just wanted to see if it was if it was related to Ben real quick. And the answer is no. All right. Great. Well, you know, he’s he’s dynamite in this movie. So let us begin. We always like to have Alison watch the trailer. Alison, what did you think of the trailer for My Bloody Valentine? 


Alison Leiby: No, thank you. Did not care for it, I have to say, like in general, like that kind of gas mask. Is that a gas mask? Is that what you would call that? 


Halle Kiefer: Yeah, let’s call it gas mask. 


Alison Leiby: Or industrial mask or whatever that covers your eyes. With like a round dark, you know, vacuums of hell. 


Halle Kiefer: Mhm. 


Alison Leiby: I don’t, I don’t care for that ever. And I’m like did you watch Chernobyl, the HBO limited series?


Halle Kiefer: I didn’t. No I really need to I haven’t.


Alison Leiby: It’s like even in settings where the, the genre is not horror, I’m like, well that was this is a horror movie because they’re wearing gas masks like, I mean, also like the events of Chernobyl are of course like worse than any horror movie. And it was intentionally supposed to, like, give you that feeling. But also I’m like, but that is just like what you would wear. 


Halle Kiefer: Yes. 


Alison Leiby: In those environments. And it is just a scary what’s that old that like mask from like what was it from the, from the plague or like from—


Halle Kiefer: Yes. Yeah.


Alison Leiby: Like where it was like it was like the long beak. 


Halle Kiefer: Yes. And I believe they put herbs in it. 


Alison Leiby: Steam punk. 


Halle Kiefer: As sort of an attempt pre germ theory. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah. 


Halle Kiefer: To um. Yeah. Herbal material to keep away the plague. Look, we were trying stuff. God knows we were.


Alison Leiby: And the horrific smell of all the dead people around you at all times. Probably. 


Halle Kiefer: There is something there, though, where it’s like, Oh, well, they were perhaps in some ways  blocking the flow of air in the way the now we wear masks. So it could be that maybe the herbs weren’t necessarily doing anything but the actual physical obstruction—


Alison Leiby: Airway. Yes.


Halle Kiefer: —could have you know we’re not plague-ologists. 


Alison Leiby: No. 


Halle Kiefer: But boy, what’s crazy about the mask was just it looked like a bird. God, that’s insane. It looks terrifying. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah why. Like it really is scary. And, like, even like, modern ones that aren’t like that, that are actual, like, sealed on gas masks, like the one in the trailer. Like, ah, it has the same vibe. It’s just very scary. 


Halle Kiefer: Yeah, there is the the human form with a industrial face. 


Alison Leiby: Yes. 


Halle Kiefer: Is a classic horror figure. 


Alison Leiby: Super upsetting. 


Halle Kiefer: And boy, do they make a meal. And I also did in this movie, of course, we’re be spending a lot of time in the mines, Alison. 


Alison Leiby: Okay. 


Halle Kiefer: It’s mine related. And I the whole time I’m like, Can you be in the mine? Like I can. There’s people walking around with the masks. People are just wearing normal clothes. I don’t know what they’re mining, but it doesn’t— 


Alison Leiby: I don’t think you just walk down there, like for a stroll. 


Halle Kiefer: I don’t. I don’t think so. But of course these kids do. Because you know what they what these kids get up to always play in the mine. And we also take a baseline scary for Alison. Alison, how scary do you find the mines? 


Alison Leiby: Very scary. I don’t want to go underground. I mean, I actually I go underground all the time, which is— [laughs]


Halle Kiefer: Oh, that’s true. 


Alison Leiby: Something I just put out of my mind. Yeah. I don’t like I don’t like a tunnel. I don’t like the subway to me, it’s like an abstraction in a way that I like don’t quite feel the underground ness of it very often unless you’re, like, stuck. And then you’re like, I’m underground, you know, just moving through. I don’t really have that issue, but like, driving through a tunnel. No, thank you. And I don’t want to descend into a mine ever. 


Halle Kiefer: Yeah, I do remember. There would be some times you’d be going under the river and the train would stop. You had, like, suddenly remembrance. Ah, yes. 


Alison Leiby: Ah yes, I’m under the river.


Halle Kiefer: If something were to go tragically awry. I’m just here—


Alison Leiby: I’m dead. 


Halle Kiefer: I’m here under the river with all these people. Exactly. Oh, well, that stands to reason. I’m also not a big mine head myself. 


Alison Leiby: No. 


Halle Kiefer: And then, based entirely on the trailer and our brief conversation, Alison, would you like to guess the twist in My Bloody Valentine? 


[voice over]: Guess the twist. 


Alison Leiby: The trailer didn’t give me like, a ton of information about what’s happening, aside from, like, it’s Valentine’s Day in Valentine, wherever. 


Halle Kiefer: Yes. 


Alison Leiby: Valentine Bluffs. 


Halle Kiefer: Valentine Bluff. Valentine Bluffs. 


Alison Leiby: I’m going to guess that the killer, seems there’s a killer, was injured in a mining accident that was due to neglect from the town. 


Halle Kiefer: Alison you hit the nail on the head. It’s almost like you’ve heard the plot of hundreds of movies which are available now on Patreon for you to read. Well, you hit that one on the head. Any guesses about, say, anything else other than that, perhaps the end of the film? Do you think something is revealed? 


Alison Leiby: Horrific facial scarring. 


Halle Kiefer: All right. All right. Now, let’s get to it. 


Alison Leiby: I guess. 


Halle Kiefer: We open with a you know, you do a what do you what do you start the episode? We open with the mine. Okay. We have two miners doing what has to be the most unsafe. I’m not a mining safety inspector yet. 


Alison Leiby: Yet. 


Halle Kiefer: I don’t have my degree. You have to, you know, do your final presentation. There are two miners who are going to the abandoned part of the mind. 


Alison Leiby: Not great. Don’t do that. 


Halle Kiefer: Well, they’re going to fuck Alison and—


Alison Leiby: Go anywhere else. 


Halle Kiefer: Well, you know, again, in a airless, lightless chemical tube full of.


Alison Leiby: Yeah.


Halle Kiefer: Rot and mold and guano, one of the miners, it turns out, is a beautiful woman. And she is wearing she takes off her, so she has a jumpsuit. And also the gas mask goes off. Her gas mask shakes out her long, beautiful blond hair. She is a full beat of eighties makeup. So it’s like—


Alison Leiby: Oh incredible.


Halle Kiefer: And a white bra. That would be, I imagine, if you were to be a miner who wear a bra. Absolutely fucking soaked. 


Alison Leiby: Filthy. 


Halle Kiefer: Yeah. With sweat and grime. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah. 


Halle Kiefer: There’s no way I’m not a miner. You’d be wearing a sports bra or some kind of special mining bra if they make those. She’s just wearing, like, just your regular. Like there’s no conceivable way the other miner man sort of swings his pickax dangerously, but it actually just buries in the wall behind her. And apparently that really gets her going. Maybe that’s some miner foreplay thing. You know, the call of the miner, the swing of the pickax, and she goes to reach for the hose coming out of his mask and he stops her from removing his mask and says, Don’t. I’m like, Okay. But then it means. So she’s basically in her brought to the waist and he’s touching the outside of his mask. In his jumpsuit, which have to be covered in whatever they’re mining. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah. Which I assume is like. Dark colors. [laughs] Like. Like soot. 


Halle Kiefer: Yeah, because they don’t ever say what the mine does I’ll be absolutely honest.


Alison Leiby: Oh okay. I was going to ask, like, what are we mining, like, I guess like, assume like, is this in Canada or in the US? 


Halle Kiefer: I think it’s in Canada, but I don’t know about it. 


Alison Leiby: Like I still got to imagine like coal?


Halle Kiefer: Let’s say coal. So. Right. So you’re mining coal. You’ve got to get coal dust. I just don’t think the like if I’m a half nude woman, I’m not I don’t want to touch the coal dust onto my hands. 


Alison Leiby: No. 


Halle Kiefer: Nor my beautiful woman’s body. I don’t. 


Alison Leiby: And white bra. 


Halle Kiefer: But again, she’s sort of you know, I personally I’m like she’s going to get mesothelioma or whatever you get down there. I don’t know. But maybe that’s her kink, right? That’s her right. She’s caressing his hose and this must be like, okay, it feels like it’s like for like, only miners, like this is a very niche sexual experience and we hear his breathing gets faster. We hear every time the killer is around, we hear the breathing within the mask. 


Alison Leiby: Yes. The breathing was really a chilling part of the trailer as well. 


Halle Kiefer: And he touches she has a heart tattoo in her breast and he reaches out and touches it. And of course, as all of our killers are driven insane when their their lust is activated, he grabs the woman by her shoulders and slams her to the wall, burying the pickax into her back through her sternum, killing her, and I’m like this woman.


Alison Leiby: Ooh. 


Halle Kiefer: Went into this mine risked, risked, black lung to fuck you. And you’re. [both speaking] This is how you repay her. 


Alison Leiby: Ugh. 


Halle Kiefer: Title card, My Bloody Valentine. 


Alison Leiby: I mean, quite an open. 


Halle Kiefer: Alison. We have text on the screen. It is Thursday, February 12th. And I love this for this kind of movie because like I say, it’s, you know, is it Valentine’s Day yet or is it Valentine’s Day? 


Alison Leiby: Yes. 


Halle Kiefer: So they do like, I need to be alerted. It’s like, No, no, I don’t care. Just say, okay, it’s Valentine’s Day. That’s when things are really gonna hit. 


Alison Leiby: Right. 


Halle Kiefer: Shit’s gonna hit the fan. 


Alison Leiby: So we see a bunch of miners leaving at quitting time from the mines. So we are outside the town of Valentine Bluffs. It is a mining town. Everybody who works there lives there, works at the mine. So all these guys who work there are like in my mind, early twenties, right? So it’s like you, you’re from this town, you go work at the mine. So, you know, they’re young, but they also sort of like coupling up like they all we eventually meet all their gals, you know, sort of like they’re from the town. They work at the mine, they go in, they have a few brews, and that’s what they’re about. And also they pull the whistle at the end of the day, aw, every workplace should have a whistle. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah. 


Halle Kiefer: The satisfaction of a whistle. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah. 


Halle Kiefer: And one of the miners says, Hey, where’s Howard or the rest of the apprentices? Apparently, they’re apprentices for mining. I didn’t know.


Alison Leiby: Sure. 


Halle Kiefer: And the miner says we left them down there to find their own way up. Got to learn at some point. 


Alison Leiby: Um, that seems wrong. 


Halle Kiefer: And everyone laughs and everyone says, Yeah, good luck. That methane build up down. They’re going to blow this place to shit sometime. I’m actually terrified of mines, is what I realized watching this. 


Alison Leiby: Yes, yes, me too. 


Halle Kiefer: And I was thinking like, you know, people always say, Oh, if you went back in time could you explain to someone how it iPhone works? It’s like you’d have to explain, like mining minerals. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah. 


Halle Kiefer: Yeah, like we’d have to go so wide. It’s like, I don’t know how to explain what mining is like. 


Alison Leiby: No. 


Halle Kiefer: I don’t know how to explain how lithium works. 


Alison Leiby: No. 


Halle Kiefer: Like  you have to go so broad to explain any electronic now, you know, they would just shoot me. I don’t know. They wouldn’t have guns. They would kill me as a witch. 


Alison Leiby: Yes. Set me on fire.


Halle Kiefer: All the guys go and they all go into their stuff like like I thought they all just take sort of an industrial bath, so they all take their clothes off and then they are just like under these showerheads scrubbing off mine filth. Right? These guys are grab-assing to beat the band. It’s like they’ve never seen another man’s ass. They are laughing. They’re just they’re snapping towels like it is. It’s 1981. And these guys are having fun, right? 


Alison Leiby: Yeah. 


Halle Kiefer: So Howard joins them. He’s like you guys made us walk up and I’m like, Walk up? What is a mime? Like, What do you mean you walked up? 


Alison Leiby: Yeah, I don’t. What? 


Halle Kiefer: Eventually we find out that there’s a cart that takes you up, but there’s also like a ladder. 


Alison Leiby: Stairs and stuff—


Halle Kiefer: A ladder that you can climb. It looks like it’s like stories tall. 


Alison Leiby: Imagine finishing a grueling work day of physical labor, and then to get home, you have to climb stories of a ladder. I would be like, kill. I’m just down. I live in the mine now. [laughs]


Halle Kiefer: Yeah. One of the miners is teasing her and says, You better build off your stamina if you’re going to start tangling with Gretchen. And Howard says, I’ve got a Valentine’s Day gift she’ll never forget. And one guy starts like thrusting his crotch he says right to the heart. I’m like, I never want to see this ever again. 


Alison Leiby: No. 


Halle Kiefer: And one guy is so excited, he literally screams, It’s gonna be a hot time on Saturday night. [laughs] I was like damn dude, you got to cool down. You’re still at work like—


Alison Leiby: You got 48 hours until that’s going to get going. Like, save some of your energy. 


Halle Kiefer: People are so excited about Valentine’s Day. It’s insane. 


Alison Leiby: I can’t imagine like [laughs] that being the vibe of any town specifically of like a bunch of men who work in mining. 


Halle Kiefer: They all fucking love Valentine’s Day. So there’d be this other guy, Axel Palmer. He says to this other character who we meet Mike Stavinski. It’s like, you know, he says to him, You do anything with that thing except throw it over your shoulder and burp it. Which I assume refers to his tremendous hog, which is just out in front of his coworkers. And Stavinski whips a bar of soap at him and he hits another guy in the face. And this whole scene makes you want to puke not because of them, because it’s like if I had to—


Alison Leiby: It’s just, a lot. 


Halle Kiefer: If I had a shower with my coworkers? I and one of them was washing their filthy mine sweat dick balls with a bar of soap— [laughs]


Alison Leiby: And then threw it at my. 


Halle Kiefer: Hit me in the face with it. This place needs an H.R.. This place is like—


Alison Leiby: Yeah. Yeah. 


Halle Kiefer: It is untoward. 


Alison Leiby: Time to have a seminar, guys. 


Halle Kiefer: [laughs] Please do not throw your dick soap in my face. So, T.J., it turns out this other miner has just returned to town, and he’s like, You know what? You guys are all the same. Just a bunch of clowns, and they’re all laughing at the guy who screamed earlier says, Well, something’s changed. Axel’s going out with Sarah now. And all the guys go, Oh he said it. Now obviously Sarah was T.J.’s you know steady date and that he left town and he came back and so T.J.’s like, I don’t care. I think it’s fine, good even though he obviously is devastated. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah. 


Halle Kiefer: You know and it’s hard it’s hard to go home after a long day of the mine and grab ass with yourself you want someone else there. I understand that. And T.J. said, Hey, last one to town has to buy the brews. And so all the men run out to their cars, still pulling up their pants like their asses out, underwear still out. That’s what the early eighties was. In my mind. 


Alison Leiby: Also—


Halle Kiefer: It’s very Dukes of Hazzard. Like, people’s pants getting pulled down. 


Alison Leiby: —It’s like February in Canada, like, it must be like 12 degrees. 


Halle Kiefer: I hadn’t even thought about that part. [laughs] It’s it’s Valentine’s Day. You’re going to freeze your leg, gentlemen. So most of these cars, these guys are driving are what I would call a jalopy. Like what Jughead would drive? 


Alison Leiby: Yes. Yes. 


Halle Kiefer: How long do they Jughead would last in the mind, Alison? Realistically. 


Alison Leiby: I think not long. He’s too goofy like he’d like slip on that bar of soap, you know, like he’s—


Halle Kiefer: Fall down a mine shaft. 


Alison Leiby: He’d fall down a mine. He’s, like, still on the ladder. 


Halle Kiefer: Yeah. Just close the door on him. So they’re all driving to town. Racing to get to the bar we see a sign says, Welcome to Valentine Bluffs, The little town with a big heart. Cute. 


Alison Leiby: Cute. 


Halle Kiefer: We get to the town Main street. And it’s decorated with hearts and streamers and a sign for the big Valentine’s Day dance. Which is also how I would run a fucking town, if anybody would lend me town it’s Valentines Day dance all month. 


Alison Leiby: It’s happening. 


Halle Kiefer: And all the pieces of the cars are like flying off as they drive— [laughter]


Alison Leiby: Barrel towards. [laughter] Also, I would just like to say for those who are not watching the podcast right now and are just listening, Halle has taken off her sweater and is basically wearing it as a necklace. 


Halle Kiefer: I’m too hot, but I don’t want to take off my headphones. So to disruption, this excellent seamless recording. 


Alison Leiby: It looks like a whimsical scarf. 


Halle Kiefer: Oh, good. Okay, that’s I’m going for. I’m just hot as hell. It’s I have a space heater because now it’s so fucking freezing in every place in L.A., because no place is insulation. 


Alison Leiby: L.A. cold is—


Halle Kiefer: Boiling hot. 


Alison Leiby: Which is a very specific kind of cold because it’s just like a drafty nice that other places don’t have. 


Halle Kiefer: Yeah. 


Alison Leiby: It’s awful. 


Halle Kiefer: So they go to the dance hall, which is being decorated for the Valentine’s Day dance and all they bust in, Howard presses an air horn, because he’s the fun one. 


Alison Leiby: He is fun. 


Halle Kiefer: And all of the other guys like girlfriends are decorating. And so Howard’s trying to hit on Gretchen and she says, Stay away from me, which I did think was funny. [laughter] But then all the other guys have a sweetie, right? And so we see like Hollis is one of the other guys. He kisses his girlfriend, Patty. They’re all so excited about the Valentine’s Day dance. And I guess it’s like, if this is the one thing your town does, everyone’s going all out. Everyone’s making plans. Everyone’s going to have fun. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah. 


Halle Kiefer: But T.J. is in the corner watching his ex, Sarah, and his coworker Axel smooch. And everyone knows it’s a small town. Everyone knows that this is in the air. And it’s like, oh, is T.J. going to make a big deal about it? Also T.J. is wearing an excellent outfit. He has a lime green or like a sherbet lime, like a light lime Fair Isle sweater under a blue and black plaid jacket. And then he’s cuffed the sweater. So there’s like a green at the bottom of the sleeves. It looks so good. 


Alison Leiby: Those kind of styling details are what make a fit. 


Halle Kiefer: Absolutely. Excellent. So Howard asked Gretchen to be his date to the dance. She says dry up, which I also love. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah great. 


Halle Kiefer: But then it’s like the town only has 202 people. But I think they do imply that other people come from other towns. Like it’s a big it’s like a, you know, like a county fair, like people come in. So, you know, there may be one other man there. I suppose. And also, I mean, if you’re gay, you got to move out of this town. In my mind—


Alison Leiby: Yeah, it just doesn’t seem like a place where there’s a community. 


Halle Kiefer: Out on the main street. We meet Mayor Hanniger, who is also the owner of the mine. It’s his family mine, and his son is T.J., the guy who just came back to town. He’s talking to Mabel, who’s sort of his right hand woman who also runs the laundromat. And they are so excited, like it’s going to be huge success it is the first time we’ve had a Valentine’s Day dance in 20 years. We haven’t had a Valentine’s Day dance since. The incident.


Alison Leiby: Yeah, it’s always an incident. 


Halle Kiefer: It’s always an incident. They open the door of the dance hall, and Howard hilariously has covered his head in fake blood and screams and topples out onto the mayor. But everyone does laugh and has a good time. 


Alison Leiby: Yes. 


Halle Kiefer: And as soon as the mayor arrives, his son T.J., storms out. He’s like, I’m going to get another bear, and a really good nose pick. And I’m like, There’s so many parts of the movie that make me puke. Like, just the way you see that, It’s like, ugh. 


Alison Leiby: Ugh. 


Halle Kiefer: We also meet Police Chief Jake Newby, who bumps into T.J., and Axel is like, I don’t think he really likes working in the mine much. And the mayor overhears and says, I don’t care. It’s not my fault my son failed on the West Coast and he’s a son of mine. He’s working in that goddamn mine. It’s like, okay. The chief is picking up the mayor to go for a meeting in another town and they head out. But Howard runs after them, says, Hey, Mayor, somebody left you a gift at the dance hall, has your name on it, and it’s a heart shaped box of chocolates. The mayor has the most human reaction, which is if somebody gave you that, you go for me? 


Alison Leiby: For me?


Halle Kiefer: For me? And he’s so excited and obviously as soon as you see this you’re like, well there’s a  hand in there, it’s gonna be a dogs head or something, you know? But he’s so cute. He’s like, For me?


Alison Leiby: That makes it even more disappointing. 


Halle Kiefer: I know. 


Alison Leiby: Whatever happens, happens. 


Halle Kiefer: But both Mabel and the chief are the only people he knows. They’re like, Well, we didn’t leave it to you. Maybe you have a secret admirer. And then this chief and the mayor get in the car. Drive off. Of course, when the mayor opens it, there’s a note that says. 


[clip of Larry Reynolds]: From the heart comes a warning filled with bloody good cheer. Remember what happened, as the 14th draws near. 


Halle Kiefer: Which isn’t exactly it’s not perfect. But you know, it rhymes. 


Alison Leiby: They’re making it work. 


Halle Kiefer: Alison. The mayor opens the heart shaped box and inside is a human heart. And he says, Oh, it can’t be happening again. 


Alison Leiby: It’s like your only reaction to seeing a human heart in a box should be passing out. 


Halle Kiefer: Right not like, Oh, it’s happ—


Alison Leiby: Again? 


Halle Kiefer: Oh, my God. 


Alison Leiby: This again. So that’s how I assumed towns work as the mayor owns the mine and he also throws the dance. 


Halle Kiefer: I think that also is kind of how things have happened. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah. 


Halle Kiefer: Now the mayor is Eric Adams, who absolutely would try to buy a mine and absolutely would throw a Valentine’s Day dance where you—


Alison Leiby: For sure. 


Halle Kiefer: —like that all adds up to me. The chief throws the truck in a u-ey, and they drive back into town to try to figure out who left this right. Everybody else, all the miners and their gals head over to the bar. The Cage. The Cage is also, to my understanding, the they also do have an elevator in the mine, but it’s for taking down the mine carts. So we have as like a little trade elevator and then a ladder—


Alison Leiby: Everything I know about mining, I learned from the underground levels of Donkey Kong country on the Super Nintendo in 1994. [laughs]


Halle Kiefer: I mean, that’s pretty much what it is. I figure think that’s what it looks. 


Alison Leiby: To me. That’s it. 


Halle Kiefer: So the guys are competing and they’re playing that game where you take a knife and stab it with your fingers and whoever stab the hand first, loses. You know that game.


Alison Leiby: Yeah. 


Halle Kiefer: We meet the bartender, my favorite fucking character in this movie, Happy, who is perfectly named because he is not happy at all. He’s in fact enraged at everyone but luckily has a lot of good institutional knowledge about, say, things that have happened in the town perhaps 20 years ago. 


Alison Leiby: Yes. 


Halle Kiefer: And he starts to tell them the local legend and everyone’s like, Oh my God, it’s not real. It’s a fairy tale. And of course, meanwhile, we see Sarah is with Axel, but keeps looking at T.J. and he’s smiling at her hornily. 


Alison Leiby: Mm hmm. 


Halle Kiefer: So we can tell there’s a, there’s a love triangle afoot. 


Alison Leiby: Mm. Yes. 


Halle Kiefer: And everyone’s kind of like, oh, right. Okay. Happy. We all know the story. And he goes. And then of course, he, you know, launches into it, and but the whole thing is very John Cougar Mellencamp. Like, it’s like there’s a jukebox. 


Alison Leiby: Yes. Yeah. 


Halle Kiefer: This is the only bar in town. 


Alison Leiby: I was born in a small town. 


Halle Kiefer: Hell, yeah. I’m going to die to small town. A lot of these people are going to die in a small town. 


Alison Leiby: Yes. 


Halle Kiefer: So this song does apply to them. So it all started 20 years ago, the night of a big Valentine’s dance. It had been a tradition for over 100 years. Everyone was in town for it except for seven miners out at Hanniger mine. Five men were in the mine and two supervisors were waiting for them to come back up. Also, they shot this an actual mines, which I thought was interesting. 


Alison Leiby: I don’t like that. [laughs]


Halle Kiefer: The two supervisors, Alison, were so excited to get to the dance. They left before they made sure the men were safely out and they did not properly check the methane gas levels in the mine. There was an explosion and while the men survived, they were buried alive as the town partied. The town, of course, eventually found out they were down there and they dug for six weeks to try and rescue them. Once they broke through, only one man had survived. Oh, no. And to do so, he had resorted to cannibalism. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah. Wow. We were. We. I thought we moved on from cannibalism from last month, but here we are back again. 


Halle Kiefer: It’s always going to surprise you. Happy says I was the one who found him. And we see the man. His name is Harry Warden, and he is gnawing on a limb and you guessed it, screaming. [laughter] Harry Warden spent the next year in the state mental hospital. The next year he came back to town and killed the two supervisors who had left their post he had cut. I mean, if you’re gonna kill somebody that seems—


Alison Leiby: That feels, you know. 


Halle Kiefer: He then cut out their hearts.


Alison Leiby: Understandable. 


Halle Kiefer: He cut out the supervisors hearts and stuffed them into heart shaped boxes. And the town found the boxes at the dance. Dripping blood and a note from Harry, warning them to never hold a Valentine’s dance again. And, according to Happy, Harry Warden comes back to town every Valentine’s Day to stalk the Hanniger mine with his pickax. In case anyone were to break his warning. And this year it could be you. So Happy says you should cancel the dance. And everyone is silent that Howard goes [sound effect] and they all laugh. And I was like that. That story deserved a little bit more than just a raspberry. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Agreed. 


Halle Kiefer: We also meet the waitress, Harriet, which all the men sing a song about her being a virgin that contains a line. There once was a young barmaid named Harriet who hasn’t been robbed of her cherry yet. And I’m like, I’m going to need somebody to get a pickax in the back of the head—


Alison Leiby: Right now. 


Halle Kiefer: —tout suite, if you ask me. 


Alison Leiby: Yuck. 


Halle Kiefer: Sarah goes over the jukebox, which is like right next to where T.J. is sort of angrily brooding and playing pool. And she turns to him and goes, First of all, this is your fault. Which I thought was great. 


Alison Leiby: That’s an amazing way to start any conversation. 


Halle Kiefer: Yeah. 


Alison Leiby: Just walk over. First of all—


Halle Kiefer: It’s your fault. [laughs] She said you left town. So what was I supposed to do? So how about you just accept the way things are and not not act like a fucking baby about this? And T.J. says, Well, maybe I don’t like the way things are. And then he storms out of the bar over in the morgue, Chief Newby is calling the state mental hospital to make sure that Harry Warden is still there. Smart move right out the gate. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah. 


Halle Kiefer: Call immediately. And also, the coroner is examining the heart. However, it’s nighttime. The front office of the state mental hospital is closed. And the night nurses is like. They don’t give me access to the system. I’m sorry. I just answer the phone. I like to take messages. Like she’s like, I can’t. I don’t know what I just. Which is I think funny like, I think the night nurse at the state mental facility should have some information. 


Alison Leiby: Like any. 


Halle Kiefer: So many things go wrong it’s a hospital, right? 


Alison Leiby: Right. 


Halle Kiefer: The coroner comes back and he confirms like it’s a human heart. Belonged to a young woman around 30. And I’m like, aw, young, 30, that’s so nice. 


Alison Leiby: Aw I love that. 


Halle Kiefer: And then also, how do you tell that? Just the size?


Alison Leiby: Yeah. If someone took your heart out, would they be able to? Is it like trees? Like, could you just, like, know how old someone is? 


Halle Kiefer: Well, you know, or that it’s a woman’s heart. But you know what? I think it’s because it was hot pink and had a bow in it. A bow on it.


Alison Leiby: Oh, yes. The telltale sign of a woman’s heart. 


Halle Kiefer: A gal’s heart, the coroner says, and they sort of catch him up to speed like, oh, was found at a box. He’s like, Well, yeah. There you have your answer. Harry Warden is back in town. I was like, Great. We’re calling it out as we see it. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah. 


Halle Kiefer: We know that somebody is a serial killer we’re not going to pretend. We then, of course, see the killer, who we have to call the miner as he is in full miner gear, including the gas mask with a pickax. We see him walking through the darkened town of Valentine Bluffs and peering in on poor Mabel, who was at the laundromat. She’s washing these like, fabric carts that are decorations, and, well, she’s enjoyed her last Valentine’s Day, Alison. Unfortunately. 


Alison Leiby: Oh no. 


Halle Kiefer: As the miner walks in, he puts another heart shaped candy box on the table. So when she comes back from the back room, she goes. Oh. Someone brought me chocolate? Everyone’s so excited to see it, as we all would be. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah. I mean, it’s like. It’s so specific. 


Halle Kiefer: It’s so cute. 


Alison Leiby: Like, oh, that’s really out of your way. Like, you didn’t have to do that. Like, no one’s like, Oh, good, I needed this. It’s like, what a treat. 


Halle Kiefer: You know, also you’re not like ew. It’s just like, well, it’s cute. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah, it’s pretty. And I like chocolate. 


Halle Kiefer: Unfortunately, on top of the box sells and she finds a note and reads. 


[clip of Patricia Hamilton]: Roses are red, violets are blue. One is dead and so are you. 


Alison Leiby: Okay, so that’s much better as a poem. 


Halle Kiefer: It’s still not giving, you know what I mean—


Alison Leiby: It’s not giving quite what I want, but it’s also. 


Halle Kiefer: It’s better. 


Alison Leiby: We’re getting there. Maybe by the end. 


Halle Kiefer: Alison, of course, the lights go off and the miner attacks and pickax’s Mable to death. Meanwhile, over in the junkyard, the guys, I guess, are after partying, after the bar. We see Stavinski, Hollis and Howard. They are cooking food on Hollis’s engine, which I’ve never seen before. But you could do. It’s like wrapped in tinfoil. Axel is playing harmonica in a wrecked car. And T.J. comes over to try to talk to him and gives him an open bottle of Jim Beam and starts playing his own harmonica, which I guess is what men were to do if you were try to bond back in 1981. 


Alison Leiby: They didn’t have phones yet. 


Halle Kiefer: Yeah. And Axel says, look, I’ll be honest, I’m with Sarah now. You left. We didn’t know where you went. We didn’t know when you’d be back. You kind of ditched everyone and ghosted us. So I’m not going to back off of this for you. I’m going to be honest. You were gone for a year, and T.J. says you want to fight. Then you got it. Because both of us know who Sarah really wants. And I think this is like with a climax where, like, you just give me any little plotline about, like, a love triangle. I’m like, well now I’m invested. 


Alison Leiby: Yes. 


Halle Kiefer: I do want everyone to get murdered, but I do want to see how this shakes out. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah, yeah. 


Halle Kiefer: Axel storms away and Hollis goes over. And also everyone’s like very level headed Hollis is like, well, you know, I think you’re being a little hard on him like you did leave. I mean, like, what was Sarah supposed to do, you know? And T.J.’s like, you know what? You’re right. Like, this isn’t anyone’s fault. It’s just really frustrating. Plus, I do really like Axel. I was like, This is nice. Unfortunately, you’re all going to be serial killed, but like—


Alison Leiby: Pickaxed to death. 


Halle Kiefer: Yeah. Alison, it is Friday, February 13th. Okay, so we’re—


Alison Leiby: Friday the 13th, and. Wow. 


Halle Kiefer: Exactly. One more day into the dance and one more day to die. Luckily in the mourning Chief Newby and the mayor called the state mental hospital again to make sure Harry Warden is in custody. The administrator, Mrs. Raleigh, tells them, Well, I’m afraid I have no records of a patient named Harry Warden, past or present. 


Alison Leiby: Oh. 


Halle Kiefer: The chief says okay, well that’s not possible. He was sent to you guys on a court order like he had a trial. What are you talking about? 


Alison Leiby: Right. 


Halle Kiefer: And a woman says, Look, I’ve gone through all the files. His file is not here, which means one of three things. He’s been transferred. He’s been released, or he’s on the slab. I think we should have a piece of paper that says one of those things. 


Alison Leiby: And also, you would still have had him. Like he would then just be past, like. 


Halle Kiefer: Right. 


Alison Leiby: Patient. Like, it doesn’t mean that just cause he’s not there now, like, doesn’t mean that he wasn’t there at some. Like. 


Halle Kiefer: Especially if you’ve been transferred, you keep it or it’s like, oh, so he’s still somewhere. 


Alison Leiby: Right. Or if he’s dead, like.


Halle Kiefer: Right. Like you’d have to have a record of his death. What are you talking about? 


Alison Leiby: What are you talking about what’s happening in this hospital administration system. 


Halle Kiefer: Chief Newby says, Are you sure you looked everywhere and Ms. Raleigh says, Yes, everywhere. Well, except the the microfiche over in center file. And I go microfiche, microfiche. 


Alison Leiby: Microfiche. 


Halle Kiefer: We’re gonna see some microfiche. But she says, of course, it’ll take a couple of days to look at it, you know, microfiche. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah. 


Halle Kiefer: And we’ll call you. And the mayor says floats the idea, maybe should I cancel the big dance since it’s a serial killer, you know? 


Alison Leiby: Yeah, yeah. 


Halle Kiefer: Meanwhile, we see Sarah walking with Patty, who is Hollis’s girlfriend, and says, I don’t know what to do. And Patty says, look, you just have to make a decision. Who do you like more? T.J. or Axel, that’s the only way you could decide this. 


Alison Leiby: Correct.


Halle Kiefer: And she says, I don’t know. They’re both kind of being babies about this. Like, maybe I shouldn’t go to the dance at all. Like, you know, whatever. Patty says, No, just come alone and you can hang out with Hollis and me, and have fun and don’t worry about it. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah. 


Halle Kiefer: And also they are like 22. I’m like, this is the right approach to this. 


Alison Leiby: Yes. 


Halle Kiefer: I know you’re 22 in a very small town in 1981, so you’re going to get married. But you know, and Patty says, And you haven’t seen my dress? It’s cut down to here and slit up to there. I might not get out alive. I’m like, Patty, that’s funny. Chief Newby goes to the laundromat to find Mabel, unfortunately Alison, when he walks in, there’s a terrifically bad smell. 


Alison Leiby: Oh. 


Halle Kiefer: And all the hearts have been turned upside down. He opens up a dryer, which is has clothes in it and smells the clothes. That’s not it. And suddenly the door of the dryer next to it pops open and Mabel’s dryer charred corpse flip flops out as apparently the miner put her, killed her and then put her in the dryer to dry. 


Alison Leiby: I don’t like that. 


Halle Kiefer: I don’t care for it at all. It looks disgusting. 


Alison Leiby: I bet it does. 


Halle Kiefer: What are the Amazon? What are the Amazon like trivia notes. Said that. I don’t know if it was this one. I assumed it was that one of the special effects props. When the first time the director saw it, he vomited. And I do think it was this one because it is pretty foul. If you weren’t expecting it you’re like, Oh no. 


Alison Leiby: Right. Because you’re like, okay, like I’m prepared for a dead body. I’m prepared for somebody who’s been like, slashed and axed. I am not prepared for like a dried out, desiccated, charred corpse. 


Halle Kiefer: She’s also an elderly woman. Which I think that makes it more of a bummer. I don’t know. Meanwhile, in the mine, Axel and T.J. keep getting into conflict and he’s just like, Oh, he’s on me because of Sarah. And Axel sort of yells this some specific mining task, and T.J. shoves him and they start fighting in the mine and the fight gets broken up and they both get yelled at. But you could tell the bad blood is brewing worse and worse. Meanwhile, back at the laundromat, the cops are collecting Mabel’s corpse and the mayor arrives and says, We’ve got to call Granville. We got to get some more cops here. We got to like we had to call in reinforcements. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah. This is not for, like, a two cops small town organization. 


Halle Kiefer: Alison, the police chief says no, we call Granville. That will cause a panic. 


Alison Leiby: Two two corpses already. 


Halle Kiefer: And one of them got air fried. Like, What are you talking about? You people should be panicking, and Chief Newby doesn’t want to deal with those. He tells his officers Mabel died of a heart attack. So if anyone asks you, that’s what happened. I don’t want to hear anyone diverting from that story. And if they do they’ll have to answer to me. 


Alison Leiby: Okay. 


Halle Kiefer: Before they could take her body out, the chief looks down and sees something in her open, ripped open chest cavity and he reaches inside. Alison It’s a paper valentine heart. And he reads it aloud. It happened once it happened twice. Cancel the dance or it’ll happen thrice. Alison. What would you do?


[voice over]: What would you do now? 


Alison Leiby: Tell you what I’ll do first. I’m canceling that dance. 


Halle Kiefer: Yeah, there’s no question. The mayor even says, Let’s cancel the dance. Like what are we doing? 


Alison Leiby: You cancel the dance. And you call for reinforcements and you, like, search the town top to bottom until you can figure out who the hell is doing this poetry murder.


Halle Kiefer: What are we talking about you call you call Clarice Starling baby. You call the FBI or whatever the Canadian version of the FBI is.


Alison Leiby: Get your officials in there. But cancel the dance. 




Halle Kiefer: Fortunately, after reading this, Alison, they actually listen to you because the mayor says the dance is canceled. 


Alison Leiby: Okay thank God. 


Halle Kiefer: This is not good. And the chief says, Yeah, right, you got me that’s fair. But they still are not going to tell people about the murders. They’re just going to cancel it and say it was because Mabel passed away. So they go to the dance hall. 


Alison Leiby: I mean. Okay. 


Halle Kiefer: Would you buy that? Is what you’re saying. 


Alison Leiby: I can’t decide if that’s like a good or a bad idea. Like, I feel like people should be on alert and aware—


Halle Kiefer: You got to be on alert. 


Alison Leiby: —murders as opposed to just like a lady died. 


Halle Kiefer: Well, just from like reality. I feel like any time people the police have not told people about a serial killer, it’s always like within the gay community or like the community of color.


Alison Leiby: Right or any other like marginalized—


Halle Kiefer: It just ends up with people being victimized. I understand you wouldn’t want to be freaked out, but also like, this is this is not a question of. 


Alison Leiby: But people should know. 


Halle Kiefer: Like, this is a question of, oh, we’ve had some murders. Are they connected? This is this is obviously connected. And this person is actively murdering people in our very small town. 


Alison Leiby: Yes. 


Halle Kiefer: Everyone gets to the dance hall to finish decorating for the next day and the chief closes the dance hall and says the dance is canceled. Out of respect for Mabel, she passed away and we we just don’t think it’s appropriate and all the gals are like but Mabel would have wanted us to have the dance like that bitch loved this shit. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah. 


Halle Kiefer: She was all about it. If anything, she would have gone if she was alive. And the chief says, Nope, that’s the way it is. There will be no dance. And there better not be any kind of big blowout party in its place where people are different secluded area where they could get slaughtered. Okay, I better not hear about that. 


Alison Leiby: Well, again, like if you told people there was a serial killer out there. 


Halle Kiefer: Yes exactly. 


Alison Leiby: They wouldn’t be as inclined to do that as just like the dance is canceled. We’ll have our own dance. I’d be like, I’m staying at home. 


Halle Kiefer: And of course, they’re going to have their own party. Like, it’s like that is the natural like, Oh, we were already going to plan it. Everyone has dresses. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah. 


Halle Kiefer: Let’s just hang out. Right? So over in the mine, T.J. is getting dressed and Axel gets on the mine and Axel is like you and me have a score to settle T.J. and T.J. runs off like a coward and drives over to the store and basically takes Sarah and puts her in his car. And she’s saying, like, I don’t want to go with you. Like, you’re not even listening to me. They go park near like the place that was their spot, which is the bleakest lake. It is like beige grass, brown water, looking over the mines. 


Alison Leiby: The mines. 


Halle Kiefer: And he says, Remember this spot? She says, Of course I remember. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah. Diarrhea town. 


Halle Kiefer: The music swells. They walk along the edge of the water. And she finally says, Why didn’t you write me? Why did you call? And he says, I’m sorry. I fell on my ass out there. I made so many mistakes, but I learned something. It’s like, Oh, okay. 


Alison Leiby: Okay. 


Halle Kiefer: She walks away, but he grabs her and he says, Sarah, I have to tell you that I love you and I want you back. And she starts sobbing because her point is not like, Oh no, I’m dating someone else. Her point is like you left me here. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah. 


Halle Kiefer: I didn’t know if you were ever coming back. Like, that’s the larger issue. Like, okay, I’m dating Axel, but, like, you abandoned me. 


Alison Leiby: Right. 


Halle Kiefer: And didn’t tell me what was going on, and he says, I’m just so sorry. I’m so damn sorry. And Alison, they smooch. 


Alison Leiby: Ooh. 


Halle Kiefer: And again, I don’t. I do want everyone to get hacked to death, but I. I do want to know how this all plays out. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah. Let’s see these relationships unfold a little bit before everybody dies. 


Halle Kiefer: And it luckily it does. They show up at the bar later, and Axel. I’m sorry. T.J. shows up at the bar later. And Axel, who was already drunk, says, Have you seen Sarah? And he tells him, it’s not my turn to look after her, which I thought was a little rude because, like well you just professed your love to her, you know? But Sarah is walking home alone from work, and she’s panicking. Like, how do I tell Axel about this? I always do this. Like, you know punishing herself. 


Alison Leiby: Of course. 


Halle Kiefer: And of course, she doesn’t see that someone seems to be watching her from the grass. 


Alison Leiby: Oh, no. 


Halle Kiefer: And she turns to see a flashlight immediately in her face. Luckily, it’s just Chief Newby. And he apologizes for startling her and he doesn’t even tell her, go home and get off the street like he doesn’t. He is like, Oh, hi, good to see you at night. Wandering around our town. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah. 


Halle Kiefer: Where you’re obviously going to be serial killed meanwhile at the bar Happy he’s talking to everybody he’s like, I’m supposed to believe that Mabel had a heart attack, my ass. She did. Because he knows, you know. 


Alison Leiby: Right. 


Halle Kiefer: Like she absolutely got murdered. I know it. Meanwhile, as obviously what would happen when the dance gets cancel the miners and the gals decide, tomorrow we’re going to have our own party. And T.J., because he’s the owner’s son, offers up the mine as the place for the party and someone says it’ll be a blast. Literally. It’s like, I don’t want a party anywhere where there’s a buildup of methane gas. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah, that’s not fun. It’s mostly gross and also dangerous. 


Halle Kiefer: Happy says to his credit. And like, like so many wonderful gas station attendants, old, weird man in town says to him, You better give up that idea or you’ll regret it. But of course they won’t. And they will. T.J., of course, tells him, Happy it’s just a legend. And you better not tell anyone about our party. Okay. Later we see Happy is going to the mines, so this is still like Friday night and the party’s going to be on Saturday. We see Happy walking to the mine with a beer and a pickax and he is rigging a prank to scare the miners and their gals. Right. And he sets up a dummy in a miner costume with a pickax that swings up when you open the door. So they’re going to open the door, scream. I’ll be scared. He’ll laugh in the bar because, like, he won’t be there. And he opens the door. He laughs maniacally at his own stunt. He closes the door, he opens it again and laughs. Alison he closes it, he opens it again. You better believe it’s the actual killer who, of course, pickaxes Happy in the stomach. 


Alison Leiby: Obviously. 


Halle Kiefer: To death. Alison, it’s finally Saturday, February 14th, Valentine’s Day. 


Alison Leiby: Finally. 


Halle Kiefer: And all the miners and the gals arrive. And I was like, are they’re going into the actual mine, but there’s sort of like a mess hall for all the guys. So it’s like a cafeteria set up with a pool table. So they’re just going to bring beers and food in there. [both speaking] That’s more reasonable, I don’t know what the fuck we were talking about. 


Alison Leiby: That’s a lot more reasonable. 


Halle Kiefer: Yeah. So they all run in there and they’ve all like, they’re boiling up a big pot of hot dogs, which I’m not going to lie wouldn’t hate them at a party. 


Alison Leiby: I’m not a hot dog fan. 


Halle Kiefer: That’s really, what you more of a hamburger gal?


Alison Leiby: Yeah, I’m more of a hamburger gal. 


Halle Kiefer: I love a—


Alison Leiby: I like like a like a sausage, like a peppers and onions sausage sandwich. 


Halle Kiefer: Yes ooh. 


Alison Leiby: But I don’t like hot, I think because hot dogs—


Halle Kiefer: I get that.


Alison Leiby: They are like, I don’t know if you’re depending on where you’re from. Like they’re really a vehicle for ketchup for a lot of people. And I don’t like ketchup. So it’s—


Halle Kiefer: Oh that’s right. Yes. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah. 


Halle Kiefer: I love ketchup so much. I would say the burger is also, to me, a vehicle for ketchup. 


Alison Leiby: Bad burgers. Yeah. 


Halle Kiefer: Chief Newby checks in at the station, and his officer, Ben, says, Oh, this came for you, Alison. It’s another heart-shaped box.


Alison Leiby: Oh boy. Don’t open them. 


Halle Kiefer: He’s like, Hey, Ben—


Alison Leiby: Also came from where? 


Halle Kiefer: Right. Like, who’s dropping them off? 


Alison Leiby: Who dropped that off? Like, was it got did it go through the mail? 


Halle Kiefer: I think we are to think, this one is from the mail. 


Alison Leiby: Okay. 


Halle Kiefer: So he tells Ben to give me a coffee. He opens it, It’s actually chocolate. He laughs it says, Be my Valentine. It’s from Mabel and his eyes water. Oh, she’s dead. T.J. arrives at the party and says everyone needs to park in the back. I don’t want the cops to see them. We’re not supposed to be here. One of the other miner guys, Dave, goes into the kitchen to get some snacks and he says, Ooh, a big pot of hot dogs. And everyone’s like, partying already, getting drunk in the main rooms. They’re playing music, so it’s already kind of loud. Unfortunately, Dave reaches for a hot dog only to have the miner grab him from behind and plunge his face into the boiling hot pot of hot dog water, which is now, a new fear. And a new terrifying way to die.


Alison Leiby: That is horrific. 


Halle Kiefer: Chief Newby you know, back at the station says, I’m going to go. I’m gonna go check out the mine. But unfortunately, he doesn’t have a chance to because when he walks outside, there is a new actual bloody heart shaped box on the ground that a bunch of stray dogs are eating. 


Alison Leiby: Oh, awesome. 


Halle Kiefer: And this one, the killer didn’t even did even bother with a limerick or a rhyme. The note just says. 


Alison Leiby: Piece of a body. 


Halle Kiefer: It just says you didn’t stop the party. And Chief Newby yells, What damn party? And of course, there’s a human heart in there. It’s. It’s Happy’s heart. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah. 


Halle Kiefer: Meanwhile, at the party, Axel’s already drunk, is trying to kiss Sarah, and Sarah needs to tell him that she’s going to break up with him to get with T.J.. But you know it just happened. So I’m like, it’s a complicated situation, you know? She says. Can you please stop? And T.J. says to him, like, why do you back up off her? And Axel’s like, you know what? Everything was fine until you came back to town. I don’t know. Why. Don’t you tell me what to do with my girlfriend and Sarah says I have my own mouth. I could speak for myself. 


Alison Leiby: Okay. 


Halle Kiefer: And then T.J. says, Well, then why don’t you use it and tell him. I was like, that is not the way—


Alison Leiby: Okay. 


Halle Kiefer: —to approach this. And so then Sarah didn’t say anything. So T.J. says, Axel, she wants me back. Axel takes a swing at T.J., and they start physically brawling until Hollis breaks it up. Axel grabs a beer and he stumbles out to go cry outside. T.J. apologizes to Sarah, but she’s kind of over it. She’s like, I don’t even care anymore. Like, just leave me alone. I don’t want to talk to either of you. You’re acting like children. Patty goes with her to console her. And in the mine proper, we see that miner John and his gal Sylvia are making out under. I guess there’s, like, a laundry for their, their miner jumpsuits, which make sense. You probably need a new one every day because they’re disgusting. So basically, they wash them all and they have like rows and rows up, just like a warehouse full of jumpsuits that hang to dry. And she says, Well, how do you get them if they’re all the way up there? He goes, look, I’ll show you. And you pull the robe and then like a whole line of them drops down at the same time and they all fall on top of them. Then they all laugh and they’re having a good time so you know, they’re about to murdered. 


Alison Leiby: Yes, of course. 


Halle Kiefer: Yeah. And Sylvia says, You know what we need? And John says, Don’t worry, I’ve got one right here. And she’s like, Oh, no, I meant a couple of beers. He’s like, Yes, of course. Let me go get some. You stay right here. I’ll be right back. John goes into the mess hall. And this is incredible moment where Gretchen and another woman who I don’t know who had her name is are fishing out the hot dogs and pulls out a obviously boiled human heart. And John’s like, oh, my God, what a hilarious prank. They must have got like, a cow heart. That’s so funny. 


Alison Leiby: See, this is why the town needs the information. 


Halle Kiefer: Yes. 


Alison Leiby: That the police have. Because then you’d be like, oh, no. 


Halle Kiefer: Yeah. 


Alison Leiby: This is no prank. 


Halle Kiefer: We also, as he says that he’s looking at them, and reaching to grab a six pack out of the fridge. And so we just don’t see that Dave’s severed head is sitting in the fridge next to the beers. 


Alison Leiby: Oh, my God. 


Halle Kiefer: Back in the mine, Sylvia, of course see the rows of miners clothes swaying above her, and then all the showerheads start turning on. So she goes over there and says, John, if that’s you, you’re. If you’re trying to scare me, you’re doing a great job. Suddenly all of the lines of clothes start plummeting and dropping in front of her. And even though it’s just clothes, it’s actually well done. Like she’s screaming and it’s panicking. And it looks like figures of men are dropping in front of her. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah. 


Halle Kiefer: Finally she turns around, and there is actually a man. It is the miner who grabbed her by her screaming head and holds her into the showers. 


Alison Leiby: No, no. 


Halle Kiefer: And when John gets back and he sees the showers going, he, of course, is like, oh, okay, we’re going to get freaky in the shower. 


Alison Leiby: No. 


Halle Kiefer: Hang on one second. He walks over. It’s so foggy he doesn’t see right away. 


Alison Leiby: See, now—


Halle Kiefer: That Sylvia’s head is jammed over a shower head, water streaming from her mouth. 


Alison Leiby: That is disgusting. 


Halle Kiefer: Yeah. 


Alison Leiby: That’s my thought on that. 


Halle Kiefer: Absolutely. Meanwhile, Chief Newby gets a call from Ms. Raleigh over at the mental hospital. It’s urgent, Alison. Over back in the mess hall, a bunch of gals and some of the guys want to go into the mine because the gals have never been in the mine. 


Alison Leiby: Couldn’t be me.


Halle Kiefer: No. So Hollis and Patty, Harriet, Stavinski, Sarah and Howard are all going to go into the mine for a quick ride on the cart and T.J. stops them and says, you know the rule, No women in the mine. Which I don’t like as a feminist, but as a woman who has seen this movie, it’s a solid idea. 


Alison Leiby: Even if I hadn’t seen this movie, I’d be like, I don’t want to go in. [laughs]


Halle Kiefer: But they’re like, no. 


Alison Leiby: It’s not for us. 


Halle Kiefer: Hollis is like, it’ll be fine. Like, we’ll just take them in the cart and bring them back up. It’s not we will do this every day. It’s not going to be a big deal. So they take the mine cart for a ride of the mine and it does seem, I’ll be honest, a little bit fun. Yeah. Other than the fact you’re breathing in, you know, petrochemicals. 


Alison Leiby: Right. 


Halle Kiefer: And Hollis goes, as they get to the bottom of the mine. And he’s like, That’s where the active mine is. And over here is the abandoned part of the mine, which has been abandoned for 20 years since the cave in. 


Alison Leiby: Let’s not go there. 


Halle Kiefer: Harriet and Stravinsky sneak off to canoodle in the mine. 


Alison Leiby: Don’t, no  mine canoodling. 


Halle Kiefer: Back up in the mess hall, Gretchen finally finds Dave’s severed head in the fridge, just as John busts in with news that Sylvia has also been killed, Axel immediately and correctly understands. Oh, my God. Harry fucking Warden is here, and there’s a serial killer. We got to get the hell out of here. So at least most people had the wherewithal to get out. Everyone’s running over to their jalopies, tires, screeching windshields, falling off. However, Axel realizes that Sarah went into the shaft. And because he was drunk, stewing, he doesn’t know that like she and T.J. also weren’t talking. So he goes up to T.J. says, we have to go down and get her. And so they literally, like clasp hands. 


Alison Leiby: Together. 


Halle Kiefer: To run into the mind, to save the woman they both love. Alison, Who will survive? 


[voice over]: Who will survive? 


Alison Leiby: T.J. will survive. And Sarah will survive and Axel will die. 


Halle Kiefer: Okay, great. And then what about the miner? Do you think the miner will die?


Alison Leiby: I think the miner will be presumed dead, but actually have escaped. 


Halle Kiefer: All right, great. And then just based on where we were at in the movie, what do you think about everyone else in the mine? Do you think they’re getting out? 


Alison Leiby: I think everyone’s going to die in the mine. 


Halle Kiefer: Yeah, mm hmm, they sure are. They absolutely are. 




Halle Kiefer: Speaking of Hollis and the gang are underground, they are ready to come back up and they don’t know where Stavinski and Harriet are. Like they Stavinski and Harriet went over to go canoodle somewhere and they’re like, We have to find them to come back up. We can’t leave them down here. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah. 


Halle Kiefer: Unfortunately, in the distance, in the mind, they hear the sound of glass breaking. 


Alison Leiby: Okay. 


Halle Kiefer: And we see it is the miner with his pickax smashing the light bulbs on the wall and sort of plunging the tunnel into darkness. 


Alison Leiby: No. 


Halle Kiefer: As he comes towards them. 


Alison Leiby: Darkness. 


Halle Kiefer: Meanwhile, Gretchen and some of the guys have gone back to town. They see the chief’s truck as they drive into the gas station. They jump outside. Harry Warden is back. He is at the mine, and T.J. and Axel went down to save Sarah and the rest of us. And the chief says, Boy, I wish I had told people about this. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah.


Halle Kiefer: Now I have to go to the mine. Now there is a serial killer, serial killer is in the mine. 


Alison Leiby: Right. 


Halle Kiefer: So he hops in his truck puts on his lights and he calls in reinforcements. So at least he did the right thing then. T.J. makes it in the mine and finds everybody and says, Harry Warden is back. He killed Dave and Sylvia, we got to get out of here. And Howard tries to say, but he’s dead. And T.J.’s like, I don’t know what to tell you.


Alison Leiby: Right. Well, someone killed them. We think it’s him either way, let’s—


Halle Kiefer: Whoever it is. Yeah. And Sarah’s like this better not be a joke. He’s like, Does it look—. 


Alison Leiby: A joke? 


Halle Kiefer: Like, I’m joking? We. I came down to the mind to get you. So, T.J. Hollis, go to basically find Stavinski and Harriet. We have to just find them. And so. And the girls you stay with Howard and Howard immediately starts panicking like, Oh, no, we’re all going to get killed. Unfortunately, Hollis, who now has a miner’s hat with the light on it like T.J. trying to look around, finds Stavinski and Harriet all right. They are dead with their gigantic drill bit pierced through Mike’s back, back and then into Harriet’s chest. Literally, they got they screwed. Alison, you see. 


Alison Leiby: [sound effect]


Halle Kiefer: Thank you. That’s that tiny drum you have in your house. But Hollis, unfortunately, turns around to see, of course, the miners helmet light shining in his face, and the miner shoots Hollis in the forehead with a nail gun. 


Alison Leiby: What the f— 


Halle Kiefer: But he survives long enough to stagger back to Howard and the girls. And Hollis dies in the arms of his girlfriend Patty, who’s screaming no over and over again. [both speaking]  I was like, Oh, no. And he also he was like, oh, he was sort of the glue that held the group together. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah. 


Halle Kiefer: But unfortunately, in the distance they look down the mine. We see another miner approaching. 


Alison Leiby: Uh oh. 


Halle Kiefer: And Howard runs off terrified, but Patty just don’t want to leave Hollis. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah. 


Halle Kiefer: Even though Hollis is dead. So it’s really—


Alison Leiby: Nail gun to the head.


Halle Kiefer: We’re going to have to come later. 


Alison Leiby: Keep moving. 


Halle Kiefer: I know. And so Sarah slaps Patty across her fucking face. But then Patty is like, You’re right. Okay, we got to get out of here. And they grab Hollis’ forehead light. They turn to see a miner approaching and scream. But luckily it’s just Axel. So Axel grabs them and takes them over to the cage to get to the surface. Even though Patty’s begging, like, Please, can we take Hollis? I don’t want to leave him here. It’s unclear. Like, Hollis is obviously dying, but it’s not clear if he’s actually dead. 


Alison Leiby: Dead yet. Yeah. 


Halle Kiefer: Yeah. So she’s just like, please. Unfortunately, they hear someone approaching. Axel picks up a log and swings it and just hits T.J. in the dick. Like it just hits him. He’s fine. But he’s just pissed. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah. 


Halle Kiefer: And they say, okay, great. So the problem is that Hollis is dead and now Howard’s run off. But we have to just we just have to get the girls up. Like if we start sending people up. 


Alison Leiby: Just get out of here. 


Halle Kiefer: Cause the longer we are down here, the more of us seem to be dying.


Alison Leiby: Yes. 


Halle Kiefer: Unfortunately, when they get to the cage, they realize that the killer has smash the control panel. Alison, this is when they have to climb up the storeys high metal ladder, which must be like the emergency ladder because you had the cart and then the elevator. The ladder must be either for, you know, hazing newbies or if there’s a fight, like, if if something is totally broken down, then you climb up the ladder to get out. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah. 


Halle Kiefer: These gals have to climb the ladder in heels. 


Alison Leiby: Oh. 


Halle Kiefer: Again a new terror. I didn’t even know, like the idea of climbing a four storey metal ladder covered in grime. While a serial killer is chasing you, in the dark in heels. 


Alison Leiby: While there’s a serial killer afoot killing people and you’ve witnessed some horrific violence. I mean, it just. I couldn’t do it. 


Halle Kiefer: And that’s why I really appreciate like you spend a lot of time with them on the ladder. And I was like, this was an interesting choice this late in the movie to like sort of focus on like Sarah panicking and going up the ladder. But it’s really effective. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah. Of course. 


Halle Kiefer: Unfortunately, as they climb, a body drops from a noose and then plummets to the ground. It’s Howard. Yes, the miner is above them. 


Alison Leiby: No. 


Halle Kiefer: So now they have to climb back down. 


Alison Leiby: Okay. 


Halle Kiefer: And they say, okay, we’re going to go back to the railcars. But the reason they hadn’t gone to the railcars is they have to cut through the sump pump room, which is like pumping water out of the mine to keep the mine dry. So they have to basically wade through filthy mine water and Axel’s last they turned to say, Axel, are you here? We hear a splash and a groan and they run back and they’re sort of a broken guardrail. And we see the sign of his miner’s hat disappearing into the water. And the girls tell T.J., look, go in and go get him. And he’s like, it’s not possible. It’s 60 feet deep. We just have to get the fuck out of here. I’m sorry. 


Alison Leiby: Oh no why is it all so awful? 


Halle Kiefer: So now we’re down to T.J., Patty and Sarah. 


Alison Leiby: Okay. 


Halle Kiefer: T.J. says go ahead of me. And then the girls hear part of the mine collapsing, and T.J. is either buried or just cut off from them. But either way, T.J. is stuck in the mine. So now it is just Patty and Sarah and they got to get out of there. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah, they got to get out. 


Halle Kiefer: Alison. They immediately run headlong into the miner who buries a pickax in Patty’s stomach. 


Alison Leiby: Oh. 


Halle Kiefer: Leaving only Sarah. 


Alison Leiby: Sarah. Hopefully our final girl, but I don’t know. 


Halle Kiefer: She hides in the mine and a hand grabs her shoulder. Fortunately, it’s T.J. He has managed to find another way out of the mine. And up on the surface, reinforcements are arriving. The chief is there and there’s a ton of guys and chief Newby’s like we’re just going to walk down the mine cart route so you can walk alongside the mine car. 


Alison Leiby: Okay. Yeah. 


Halle Kiefer: We’re just going to walk down. T.J. and Patty, meanwhile, jump on the mine cart as it starts going up to the surface and the miner leaps off the back. It’s a really good idea for a set piece, like a train fight, like on top—


Alison Leiby: Yeah yeah. 


Halle Kiefer: But it’s going so slowly. That is just like it doesn’t give you weight. It’s great on paper. 


Alison Leiby: Yes. But in reality it’s it’s very oh, it’s reminding me of like there’s, like a comedy somewhere that like, makes fun of like how slowly things are happening. 


Halle Kiefer: And they the miner attacks, T.J. And essentially it’s like they are battling the miner has a pickax and T.J. has a shovel and they’re kind of fencing with it. And eventually they leap off the cart and the miner attacks them and Chief Newby and the guys towards the service see the car go by empty, but covered in blood from this brawl. And finally, the T.J. and the miner, there are hand-to-hand combat ing as they walk through the tunnel and there’s an entrance marked keep out and through they’re battling, they end up going through the entrance. It is the abandoned part of the mine because of all of the methane gas that builds up and the mine collapse. So we are now in the collapsed part of the mine and the miner attacks. T.J. and Sarah lunges at the miner to try to stop him and pulls off the mask, revealing the identity of the miner. It is Axel. Now, why would Axel do all this? Well, as we see in flashback, Axel was the son and one of the two supervisors that Harry Warden killed and that inadvertently, but did cause his imprisonment and descent into insanity and cannibalism. 


Alison Leiby: Yes. 


Halle Kiefer: So naturally, as is the lesson of so many horror movies, if something bad happens, you as a child, you will become a serial killer. 


Alison Leiby: Yes. 


Halle Kiefer: And T.J. is able to shove Axel off of him and Axel slams into the wall, triggering again, of course, a cave in. 


Alison Leiby: Yes. 


Halle Kiefer: T.J. and Sarah able to escape back into the mine proper and they run into Chief Newby and the mayor and they tell him it’s not Harry Warden, it’s Axel. And the chief says, I know. I just got the call from the state mental hospital. Harry Warden died five years ago. 


Alison Leiby: Okay. 


Halle Kiefer: So it’s like, well, I’m glad we have that information now that we don’t need it. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah, that we should have gotten that right before the reveal. 


Halle Kiefer: Agreed. To see it. That was like, yeah we know. 


Alison Leiby: It’s like, well, they got it. 


Halle Kiefer: Also it’s not like he died in like, a crazy way. Or it was just like, oh, he died in the hospital. Okay.


Alison Leiby: Yeah. Right. 


Halle Kiefer: However, all the other guys go in to try to dig Axel out. And from back of the abandoned mineshaft, one of the rescuers screams, He’s alive. And Sarah still has feelings for him. Runs back inside with T.J. in hot pursuit. And they peer into this little area. They cleared out to see Axel, whose arm has been torn off in the collapse. And it’s absolutely tremendous and shot Alison. We see Axel, who has now presumably been driven insane as he staggers deeper and deeper back into the mine, shouting.


[clip of Neil Affleck]: Harry, Harry. I’m coming. This whole fucking town is going to die. We’re coming back, you bastards. 


Halle Kiefer: Then he starts singing, Daddy, Daddy. Gone away. Harry Warden made you pay. Sarah, won’t you be my bloody Valentine? As he sort of scrambles into the mine dark down into the mine. And then over the fucking credits. There is an excellent song called The Ballad of Harry Warden, which tells the story of this fictional legend. 


Alison Leiby: Oh. 


Halle Kiefer: Which I loved. 


Alison Leiby: That’s fun. 


Halle Kiefer: And reminds you. Do you know the song Timothy by the Buoys? It’s about somebody being trapped in a mine and having to eat somebody. 


Alison Leiby: Oh, no, I don’t know that song. 


Halle Kiefer: So I think they’re. Maybe they were evoking that, which I loved. I loved having a folk tale about a fictional—


Alison Leiby: Love that I. 


Halle Kiefer: Love that. So that’s the end. 


Alison Leiby: Wow. 


Halle Kiefer: The Bloody Valentine, the My Bloody Valentine. 


Alison Leiby: Yes. 


Halle Kiefer: So, Alison where, what do you think is a fatal mistakes? That may have been made in My Bloody Valentine? 


Alison Leiby: Yes. 


[voice over]: Fatal mistakes. 


Alison Leiby: I mean, it all goes back to being more excited about the party than making sure that everybody clocked out of work safely. Like. 


Halle Kiefer: Yes. 


Alison Leiby: Had that just had everyone just taken time to make sure everybody would like there would be no initial disaster or to inspire this slaughter. That being said, present day not telling the town there was a serial killer afoot.


Halle Kiefer: Yes. I mean, that’s. There you have it. I mean, when even the mayor is the one floating, the idea of canceling and you’re arguing. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah. 


Halle Kiefer: Why? 


Alison Leiby: And then like and then like having like again with that information though, everybody might not have had the party in the mining area because, yes, they would have been aware that there’s like a mining related serial killer afoot. 


Halle Kiefer: Yes, exactly. 100%. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah. So yeah. 


Halle Kiefer: But other than that, I mean, look, love triangles are going to happen. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah. 


Halle Kiefer: You know, everyone else, they’re just doing their absolute best. They all had some. This is on Chief Newby. Absolutely. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah. 


Halle Kiefer: And then where would you place My Bloody Valentine on this spooky scale, Alison? 


[voice over]: A spooky scale. 


Alison Leiby: I think I was initially going to go lower than I am, but when I think back to some of these deaths and kind of. The mask and the breathing and the being trapped in mines. I’m going to give this an eight. 


Halle Kiefer: Oh, okay. 


Alison Leiby: I think the woman’s head on the shower. Really—


Halle Kiefer: Yeah. 


Alison Leiby: Ratcheted things up for me. 


Halle Kiefer: Yeah, absolutely. I’m going to give it. I’m going to give it a six. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah—


Halle Kiefer: I really enjoyed it. I love the valentine, it just made me want to paint paint hearts on my walls like I love a Valentine theme. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah. Mm hmm it’s great. 


Halle Kiefer: Visually, I thought was so it was just like this. Great. Also, it’s like this explains, like, why would you love Valentines so much? It’s like this gray town with, like, these bright pink hearts everywhere. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah. 


Halle Kiefer: I loved it. And, yeah, I’m going to give it a six. It wasn’t. I wasn’t scared at any point, but I do really appreciate a lot of it. I’m gonna give it a five. I wasn’t scared, but I think that might just be because that part of my brain has been permanently broken. 


Alison Leiby: Yes, yes, yes, yes. 


Halle Kiefer: But I thoroughly enjoyed it. And a towering achievement in the classic slasher genre. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah. 


Halle Kiefer: Run. Don’t walk out of the mine because the—


Alison Leiby: To see this movie.


Halle Kiefer: —because the killer is there. All right, well, everybody, again, please check out our Patreon. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah. 


Halle Kiefer: We are going to. One of the Patreon movies this month is Would You Rather. 


Alison Leiby: Yeah. 


Halle Kiefer: Which also had a very interesting dinner party in it. So if you want to hear more about that? Please join us. 


Alison Leiby: Join. And a Patreon makes a great gift if you’re still looking to buy gifts. If you have a Ruined fan in your life and you can’t think of what to get them besides a box with a heart in it or a severed head or any of the other numerous disgusting things that these movies suggest, you can always gift a Patreon membership to somebody. I think that would be a delight. I have no idea when the holidays might be over, but people need gifts all year. 


Halle Kiefer: Absolutely. Goodbye. 


Alison Leiby: Oh. Oh, wait. 


Halle Kiefer: Oh, sorry. Goodbye. And also, until next time, please. 


Alison Leiby: Please keep it spooky. 


Halle Kiefer: Don’t forget to follow us at Ruined podcasts and Crooked Media on Instagram, Twitter and TikTok for show updates. And if you’re as opinionated as we are, consider dropping us a review. Ruined is a Radio Point and Crooked Media production, we’re your writers and hosts Halle Kiefer and Alison Leiby. The show is executive produced by Alex Bach, Sabrina Fonfeder and Houston Snyder, and recorded and edited by Kat Iossa. From Crooked Media our executive producer is Kendra James with production and promotional support from Ari Schwartz, Kyle Seglin, Julia Beach, Caroline Dunphy, and Ewa Okulate.