"Darling, Don't Worry My Vibe" w. Betty Gilpin | Crooked Media
Jon, Jon & Tommy's first ever book is here - Order Democracy or Else NOW! Jon, Jon & Tommy's first ever book is here - Order Democracy or Else NOW!
September 07, 2022
Keep It
"Darling, Don't Worry My Vibe" w. Betty Gilpin

In This Episode

Ira and Louis discuss the continuing Don’t Worry Darling gossip that has unfolded at the Venice Film Festival, whether they care about The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power, Lea Michele’s alleged illiteracy, and Louis’ addiction to Pluto TV. Plus, Betty Gilpin returns to discuss her new book All the Women in My Brain, shared theatre traumas, and more.

Check out Betty Gilpin’s previous appearance on Keep It






Ira Madison III And we are back with an all new episode of Keep It. I’m Ira Madison III.


Louis Virtel I’m Louis Virtel and that bears repeating because something we’ve never discussed on this show is that you have written on the new show Uncoupled.


Ira Madison III Yes.


Louis Virtel And also the new show, So Help Me, Todd.


Ira Madison III Yes.


Louis Virtel I want to be clear that those are two Marcia Gay Harden projects. And of the two hosts on Keep It. Who do you think is owed double Marcia Gay projects?


Ira Madison III Has she, has she been on Kimmel while you’ve been on?


Louis Virtel At some point, I don’t think recently.


Ira Madison III Wow. Okay. I mean, I would have assumed you’d had double Marcia Gay Harden.


Louis Virtel No. I mean, we really interact with the guests on the show anyway. But I mean, you’re right, if she came, I would like capture her in a butterfly knot and then that would be the end of the public knowing what happened to Marcia Gay Harden.


Ira Madison III But we’ve had her on. Keep It.


Louis Virtel Right. Yes. No, she was a great guest. And by the way, we rarely have guests who come on multiple times for whatever reason. Marcia Gay Harden is and would be a great double invitee because we have one today.


Ira Madison III Yeah, we’ve got Betty Gilpin this week.


Louis Virtel Who I think is maybe the definitive podcast interviewee of our time. Like the way that once upon a time, you know, Julia Roberts would come on Dave Letterman and be the definitive talk show guest. Betty Gilpin is that for the podcast. Helix Mattress. Sleeping World.


Ira Madison III Well also she discusses is like, in a roundabout way, All My Children this week. If you’re speaking about calling her the Julia Roberts of podcasting, you remember. Do you know that Julia Roberts was, like obsessed with Days of Our Lives?


Louis Virtel Ah, that sounds familiar. I don’t know if I remember that.


Ira Madison III Maybe I brought it up on here, but she was obsessed. And one year I believe it was the Soap Opera Digest Awards or the Daytime Emmys, whichever one. She introduced the clip for Days of Our Lives.


Louis Virtel Wow. What? And everybody there just like, gasps, Marlena from Days of Our Lives, like, fell backwards in her chair.


Ira Madison III It’s like mid-nineties, too. So this is like the height of Julia Roberts, okay? She was, like, dodging weddings and watching Days of Our Lives.


Louis Virtel Right? And then in movies like Something to Talk About, I love her weird, forgotten movies in that time, like Dying Young. She just is an everything, you know, actually.


Ira Madison III You know what? It makes a lot of sense when you look at Julia Roberts personal life to that she was like tuned into Days of Our Lives every day.


Louis Virtel I mean a word I usually don’t say because it’s so overused, but the word is chaotic. I mean, what was going on in her life? Some of the things are beyond belief. Also, Julia Roberts, I’m sure I brought up this distinction before, but she’s so an actress. I’m trying like someone like Cher or where the thing is, it’s not that they’re like supermodels. The thing is that they look amazing. Sarah Jessica Parker Looks amazing. Julia Roberts Amazing, you know?


Ira Madison III You know what random Julia Roberts movie I was thinking about? I guess it’s not random because it’s been remade, but, um, Flatliners.


Louis Virtel Oh well, my my friends Erica Tunashabi, Anoushka Tunashabi and possibly are obsessive Flatliners that comes up absolutely every time I hang out with them. So actually, I have to avoid talking about Flatliners sometimes. But yes, I love that ensemble.


Ira Madison III Do you want to know where I first watched Flatliners? It was in high school as I went to Marquette High School in Milwaukee, which was an all boys Jesuit school. We watched Flatliners in Theology class because we discussed the ramifications of dying and coming back to life.


Louis Virtel Wow. I love actually. You know what? Mad respect to teachers who would like try to like pair real lessons with just movies to keep you entertained. Like it seems like something a substitute teacher does while they, you know, recover from a hangover. But no, I remember in a psychology class, we watched A Beautiful Mind. I’m sorry. You’re not learning anything real about the human mind, watching a Beautiful Mind, but I appreciate the effort.


Ira Madison III Oh, and I just realized that Flatliners was also shot on my college campus. Loyola, Chicago.


Louis Virtel Oh, right. That makes sense. Yes. Yeah. Uh, I watched Mystic Pizza not too long ago. Very pleasant.


Ira Madison III Oh, Annabeth Gish, my icon.


Louis Virtel Right. Where did you go, sweetie?


Ira Madison III I mean, listen, justice for Annabeth Gish, because I still stan to reason that Monica Rayes is on The X-Files was a great character. I know fans don’t like her, but I fucking loved her.


Louis Virtel X-Files is a blindspot for me. I’ve never seen it. Oh.


Ira Madison III You should watch The Brady Bunch episode. It’s a last season episode and people were sort of like eh, about it, were eh about the season then and her, but it’s like the penultimate episode and it is about the Brady Bunch house where they filmed it in L.A. being haunted and the whole joke was like, This wasn’t the house, because they filmed it on a soundstage. But the house looks exactly like it and it’s a haunted by like a ghost.


Louis Virtel And what’s weird is now that house for real is the Brady Bunch house. Yeah, right. Like inside, like they made it so that it I.


Ira Madison III Think it looks. I think it’s about that house.


Louis Virtel Got it. Got it. Maureen McCormick on Twitter seems like a cool person. The other ones remain like we used to remember when you couldn’t avoid Christopher Night on VH1. Now, I don’t know what the hell happened to him.


Ira Madison III Yeah, he was everywhere.


Louis Virtel Yeah, Peter Brady. He would have, like three different shows. He was on The Surreal Life and he had that show with Adrian Cory from Joliet, Illinois, who says Cafeteria in college the same way I do.


Ira Madison III Every time I think about The Brady Bunch, by the way, I always get sad because at some point when I was like younger, either before I had come out or when I was just coming out. I was reading like biography or something on Robert Reed, and his life was depressing.


Louis Virtel Oh, well, I mean, he was just one of those like I think the people around him knew he was gay. Like Susan Olsen on that show played Cindy. She said she she knew Bob Reed was gay by the time she was whatever six when she started that show. But you’re right. He was like a closeted.


Ira Madison III Yeah.


Louis Virtel To the public actor.


Ira Madison III Yeah. A tragic gaylotto, you know.


Louis Virtel  Right. I think.


Ira Madison III Anyway, we should start this epsiode.


Louis Virtel What the fuck.Is going on this episode?


Ira Madison III Um, we’re going to talk about. Believe it or not, I thought we were just talking about Don’t Worry, Darling, last week. But.


Louis Virtel I kind of did, too. Yeah.


Ira Madison III But it is. It is as as the world is turning. There is more going on with this movie and a lot going on at the Venice Film Festival, which for the longest I kept thinking it was Cannes.


Louis Virtel Right. They aren’t the same thing.


Ira Madison III Yeah, one’s a different. One’s in Italy and the other one’s in Paris. Well, Paris adjacent, France.


Louis Virtel But I think at the Venice Film Festival, the definitive image is when Gaga was in A Star is Born and she had those pictures on that the boat.


Ira Madison III Yes. That that was my thing. I was my brain was reminding me. Venice, they all enter on the boat. Cannes, the women are yelled at if they don’t dress properly? And Kristen Stewart always ignores it.


Louis Virtel Right. Right. Looking, smashing, always.


Ira Madison III And also Lord of the Rings is back.


Louis Virtel Which I apparently like, of course, 775 million people watched whatever that episode was. I have not seen it and I’ve told IRA that his task today is to convince me to watch it if in fact he liked it though I don’t know if he liked it yet. So stay tuned for this thrilling reveal.


Ira Madison III You’ll just have to wait and see. All right. We’ll be right back with more. Keep It.




Ira Madison III Amazon’s new Lord of the Rings series, The Rings of Power premiered last week to mostly positive reviews save for the evil white people on the Internet who hate every fantasy thing. At this point, they’re spending they’re spending your time between hating this and hating She-Hulk. It must be a very busy time for them.


Louis Virtel Are you a She-Hulk fan?


Ira Madison III I actually love She-Hulk.


Louis Virtel What’s what’s its primary thing response? It’s funny.


Ira Madison III It’s funny. It’s funny. It it really uses the fact that like in the in the actual comics, like she would break the fourth wall and sort of drag male Marvel Comics readers. So it works now too, on the TV show. And it’s actually the most. Like Network almost ABC sitcom version of a marvel show you’ve ever seen.


Louis Virtel Right. That’s sort of the feel, I guess.


Ira Madison III Popular music. It is. Yeah. It’s just funny. Like, it’s a sitcom. It’s fun.


Louis Virtel I think I think the confusing thing is actually the casting of Tatyana, because we don’t associate her with that kind of acting at all. Now, you would never guess it was that.


But let me, let me tell you, she can twerk.


Louis Virtel Oh, I saw that clip. And I said, I don’t know, but apparently a lot of people like it, so that’s good to hear.


Ira Madison III But this is also the most expensive TV show ever made. So it’s the Scream video of television.


Louis Virtel Can you believe Scream is still number one like it must be adjusted for inflation? That’s really crazy to think. For a split second. It was Bedtime Stories by Madonna, which that’s a video that holds up. But anyway.


Ira Madison III So this show, I, I don’t know if I can recommend it to you. What I need to know is, did you like the movies?


Louis Virtel Okay, here’s my memory of the movies. Are you ready? So I had a mormon friend in high school who for his, I think his birthday, which was in December. We all went and saw the first one. And it’s one of those movies where I felt like a completely different species from the people who liked it because I was so I liked some of the acting, but it was so what are they not just walking in that film? It’s like the fucking road. Yeah. We’re still walking. Yeah. I was. I was so bored that I skipped the Two Towers, which people I remember, my friend Alise being very obsessed about being like Louis, you’ll like the Two Towers it’s more action packed. As if that’s what I want in a movie. Sometimes my friends don’t see me. And then Return of the King. I did watch and I. I remember liking parts of it, but I also don’t think about that movie ever. So I never it just never. It’s not my brand at all. You know, in 2003, I was very concerned with Monster and whether Christina Ricci could get a supporting actress nomination. Didn’t get it, by the way.


Ira Madison III Yeah, I but memory of the movies is, is, you know, that they each one came out during finals week.


Louis Virtel Yes. Right.


Ira Madison III And each time my friend my friend Ben at the time took me to the movies to see them. We went like right after our early morning final, which I was just thinking about high school in general the other day. I think maybe because of reading like Betty’s book, but like the concept of the fact that we had to be at class at like what, like seven fucking 30 in the morning?


Louis Virtel Oh, you say no. I mean, it’s crazy. Yeah. No, I don’t. I’m not working in an E.R.. What’s happening here?


Ira Madison III I feel like that’s why athletes.


Louis Virtel Sometimes you and sometimes you would have gym class in the morning, which was insane.


Ira Madison III Yeah. Gym class as first period was terrorism. But also, I feel like that’s what most athletes are like morning people because then I was thinking, Oh yeah, if we are starting a class this early, you would do like practice for like football or like swim practice like at 5:30 a.m..


Louis Virtel Right? Yeah, which, what’s wrong with those people?


Ira Madison III Absolutely insane. But because they were during finals and the final would be like, so fucking early in the morning, I’d get to the theater. I passed out in the middle of all three of these movies.


Louis Virtel You know what?


Ira Madison III They’re long.


Louis Virtel I unfortunately, I’m like the movie guy, right? Like, I’m obsessed with movies. If I’m even remotely tired, I, generally speaking, might have a moment where I pass out, even if it’s a good movie. I fall asleep during Spencer, and that’s supposed to be, you know, an acid trip of the mind. And yet I still fell asleep. But then I went back to the theater and saw it again. Because I’m a responsible viewer.


Ira Madison III I am. I was constantly tired.


Louis Virtel Yeah.


Ira Madison III Listen, fantastic.


Louis Virtel You’re like a Cathy mug now.


Ira Madison III Fantastic show. I need to see Kate Berlant Kate again because I did fall asleep for 5 minutes of it.


Louis Virtel Poor Kate Berlant who is in Don’t Worry, Darling by the way.


Ira Madison III Um, she. It’s an amazing show, though, by the way. Side note Bo Burnham directed it and it is playing at the Connolly Theater in New York City. It’s still in previews. It is hysterical, and it plays with the format of what theater and a one woman show is.


Louis Virtel She, I mean, it’s one of a kind. Somebody has made this note on the Internet before. And actually, I think I remember Bo Burnham commenting on it that Kate Berlant is someone who who did something so successfully, her sense of humor being like this, like off kilter fainting, kind of crazy, you know, Kate Berlant style, just like, look her up on YouTube and become acquainted immediately. She was so immediately copied by everybody else that you would forget she came up with it.


Ira Madison III Yeah, she’s the OG.


Louis Virtel Yeah. Yeah. Extremely funny. I cannot wait to see her show. And then it’s been going around recently, but before the show she just sits in the lobby while people walk in and holds a sign saying, Don’t look at me. Yeah.


Ira Madison III So, yeah, you when you first walk into there’s it’s, you know, has a photo of her as is Kate Berlant as Kate. And then there’s a mirror, too. And it says You as the audience.


Louis Virtel Marina Abramovich jumped out.


Ira Madison III Anyway, back to these hobbits and elves.


Louis Virtel Oh, yeah, right. Which we’re so into. Keep going.


Ira Madison III I. This is the thing, I love House of Dragon. Of House of Dragon, which is admittedly worse than this show. Oh, is it? Yeah. It’s worse than the show. Rings of Power is actually very beautifully written, very beautifully acted. I love, you know, that it actually feels like, you know, it has the mystical stuff going on, but it also has people who feel like real people in it, too, who are dealing with all this stuff. You could tell they’re real people because they haven’t wash their hair and they’re wearing rags and they’re, you know, usually running around on a farm somewhere. And house of the Dragon for me, like, I feel like what it’s actually missing is like the, like the poor people. You know, it has it has a lot of the like castle intrigue. But you don’t know how it’s affecting any of the people in Westeros. As opposed to, you know, Game of Thrones felt like it was vast and was about the, you know, entire world that it was in.


Louis Virtel You want the upstairs and the downstairs, if you will, you know?


Ira Madison III Um. Rings of Power is fine. It’s fun.


Louis Virtel Now, is Galadriel here? Here I am, keying into one of these movies.


Ira Madison III Cate Blanchett.


Louis Virtel  Right. Is. Is there a version of her in this?


Ira Madison III So she’s the lead.


Louis Virtel Got it.


Ira Madison III She’s the lead.


Louis Virtel But it’s not Cate Blanchett, obviously. Who the fuck is it?


Ira Madison III Morfydd Clark. I’m sure I’ve pronounced this name horribly wrong because she’s Swedish and Welsh.


Louis Virtel Okay, but that’s approximating Blanchett. I know. If you put those two together, that’s Australia to me.


Ira Madison III Right. You know, she was in Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. She played Georgiana Darcy in that. So, you know, she’s been around. But.


Louis Virtel Okay. Great


Ira Madison III She’s actually quite good. You know, it’s really sort of about her on her journey to, you know, find Sauron the big the big bad who she believes is still around and lurking evily. No one else believes her. So that’s what it’s about. And she’s rallying troups to take care of them. And it’s I found it a very fun, pleasant watch. I actually did not fall asleep during it, which is shocking because I fell asleep during the movies. I think that the series will actually allow itself to sort of world build more than a film can of.


Louis Virtel Hmm.


Ira Madison III And I’m just I’m going to watch it in defiance of, like, the, the trolls on the Internet who hate it. Which, by the way, I would like people to stop responding to these people because I feel like we’ve been doing this for years at this point. The series’ ratings are insane. So who cares?


Louis Virtel Yeah. Right. We’re going to get spin off after spin off of this damn thing, so.


Ira Madison III Their yelling at the air. I mean, at this point, you know, it’s like it’s like the same people who are like doing these long threads on Twitter about how they’re they paid their student loans or other people shouldn’t get their student loans, like, you know.


Louis Virtel All right.


Ira Madison III Forgiven. And I’m like, well, the government’s already doing it, so your tweet thread doesn’t matter. So why are people, quote, tweeting and arguing with that move on?


Louis Virtel Yeah, they are shouting at the air. Now is the reason the people hate this show, because it’s like Galadriel led.


Ira Madison III To sort of that. But also like the the the the Hobbit-ish characters and they’re not actually hobbits. Whatever the name of them is, I haven’t read any of these books and I don’t know how much of the book is being referenced and how much is not being referenced. But I also know that they don’t have the rights to like the main three texts. So there’s there’s a lot that they’re sort of making up in between this freestyling going on. Yeah, yeah. Listen to X-ray Vision if you really want the lowdown about it, because you’re not going to get it from here. Okay. This ain’t the Oscars.


Louis Virtel Thank God for that podcast.


Ira Madison III You got to bring your own cup up in here. Oh.


Louis Virtel I’m trying to even think of the last fantasy thing I really connected with, because what comes to mind is the first Tomb Raider movie, which, by the way, is terrible. And I know you’re a fan, but like the aerodynamics of the jumping around there, that’s as close to fantasy as I can dial into.


Ira Madison III Do you prefer Miss Vikander?


Louis Virtel Did I say that? Did I say that? Does one mean the other? No, I didn’t. I actually watched a few scenes from the candor one. And I mean, the the set pieces are perfectly fine. You know, they did the action part of it.


Ira Madison III Do you prefer the Cradle of Life? Because that is also a respectable answer.


Louis Virtel No. I remember thinking that was unbearable, but. Also, I feel like we get more Voight in that one, right?


Ira Madison III Yeah. Gerard Butler.


Louis Virtel Right. That was the beginning of Gerard Butler for us.


Ira Madison III Mm hmm. And, you know, I think that Jan de Bont was in his bag. Okay.


Louis Virtel Wow. I forgot that was a Jan de Bont.


Ira Madison III Speed. Twister. Come on. This is an icon.


Louis Virtel Speed. I mean, I fucking love Speed. Talk about a movie that’s impossible to fall asleep to.


Ira Madison III Did he direct Speed 2 Cruise Control? Yes. Are we going to discuss that film? Absolutely not.


Louis Virtel That may still be the definitive sequel flop of all time.


Ira Madison III It truly is. And I love how Sandra Bullock is just sort of like, Yeah, I shouldn’t have done that movie.


Louis Virtel Right. I mean, also, she was in like 80 other successful movies around the same time, too, so she’s never really had to even answer for.


Ira Madison III But, um. Anyway, I enjoy it. I’m going to keep watching it. I think that.


Louis Virtel I will I will put an honest, truthful effort into watching the show. But again, I think I brought this up in regards to the Game of Thrones show. If there are too many discussions over chalices, I’m out. I just I immediately tune out. I don’t want anything to look like chess while I’m watching a drama.


Ira Madison III That’s why. That’s why Goblet of Fire is your least favorite Harry Potter.


Louis Virtel Right. And I rank them constantly. Actually, I can’t even sit through those movies. I remember I watched the first one in theaters. And, you know, the kids are cute. They look like Fisher-Price little people in the first couple of ones. And then, you know, moving on to not like Ray Finds is one of my favorite actors, but like, they made him look like that. I just don’t care.


Ira Madison III Yeah, it’s weird for a person who’s, you know, loves, like, Game of Thrones and, like, Buffy’s my favorite TV show. I was spent the weekend, like, talking with someone about how much I love Charmed. The actual fan, like the hard fantasy like this, like, doesn’t pull me in. And I’ve certainly never read these books and I certainly will never read them.


Louis Virtel No. I mean, literally, like one of my favorite movies, 45 Years with Charlotte Rampling, which is like hard reality, like people are just sitting around upset, like in real life. And even the part where she learns that her husband’s ex-girlfriend, like, fell into a crevasse or something, that’s almost too unbelievable for me. Like that. There was even a step. There was even a plot point that referenced something that felt too extreme to be real. That almost took me out of it. So I just need to retrain my brain to understand that fantasy is, you know, the imagination running wild. And I should really embrace that. By the way, you also just brought up Buffy the Vampire Slayer. We should get Freddie Prinze Jr and Sarah Michelle Gellar have been married for 20 years now. And they are. They’re like the HUME Cronyn and Jessica Tandy of the Kevin Williamson universe, which rad, but apparently there’s an old clip of Howard Stern where he’s like, you two are going to get fucking divorced, whatever, and I’ll pay you like $1,000,000 if you actually stay together. And now Sarah Michelle Gellar is holding him to that. Anyway, now I know I stan Sarah Michelle Gellar .


Ira Madison III Get your coin, sis. Yeah, by the way, I love that there’s been a renaissance and people appreciate the fact that the Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo Monsters Unleashed are great movies.


Louis Virtel I don’t know that I ever saw Monsters Unleashed because I was a thinking adult at the time, when they came out.


Ira Madison III You were afraid of the monsters. They were unleashed. And you were like, keep them caged.


Louis Virtel Right. It has to be like the zoo. I have to be able to just walk past them and, you know, sort of exchange a glance and move on. If they’re unleashed, I’m safe.


Ira Madison III Also James Gunn wrote them. So they’re basically like Guardians of the Galaxy, you know, they’re funny. They’re self-referential anyway.


Louis Virtel Got it. Got it. All right. I’ll watch that other fantasy masterpiece, too, I.


Ira Madison III I wish someone would adapt my real fantasy OG though The Canterbury Tales. I love the library. I love the Canterbury Tales. I don’t know why you do. The worst thing I did in college, I took a class, an English class, where we learned middle English.


Louis Virtel What? Okay.


Ira Madison III We read the Canterbury Tales in its original Middle English and listeners. I have to tell you, I got a C-minus in that class.


Louis Virtel Well, it sounds like a class for people who are determined to remain, shall we say, virgins. But whatever you got to say of the Miller with the proper dialect. So good for you.


Ira Madison III Yeah, those books are very horny.


Louis Virtel Are they really? The Canterbury Tales.


Ira Madison III Chaucer. He was going through some things.


Louis Virtel Okay. Yeah.


Ira Madison III Yeah.


Louis Virtel Good take on the Canterbury Tales.  I haven’t heard it before.


Ira Madison III Alright


Louis Virtel It’s going to light up the literary universe.


Ira Madison III This is what the Keep It listeners want to hear.


Louis Virtel Right. Wow. All right. Okay. Let’s get to Don’t Worry, Darling. The listeners deserve it.


Ira Madison III Well, first, Betty Gilpin joins us. We’ll be right back with Betty Gilpin.




Louis Virtel So you’ve seen her in the Tomorrow War Gaslit and her breakout role in GLOW. Her new book, All the Women in My Brain and Other Concerns, is available now. And I have to say straight away, there are so many women in her brain. They’re listed in the book. And it is harrowing. And we’re thrilled to welcome back to Keep It the delightful and rad as hell, Betty Gilpin. Thank you for being here.


Betty Gilpin Hi, guys. Thank you so much for having me.


Ira Madison III Hi.


Betty Gilpin Hi.


Ira Madison III First of all, I am obsessed with this cover.


Betty Gilpin Oh, thanks.


Ira Madison III Like, I love book art. And I want to say that like I would. This is like book art. I would like you would want to see, like, hung on a wall, hung on a wall, you know.


Betty Gilpin Like a wallpaper accent wall for a bathroom, maybe.


Ira Madison III Yeah.


Betty Gilpin A whymsical Palm Springs bathroom.


Louis Virtel Yes. Now, also, I mean, like the doll heads thing, it’s reminding me a little bit of I want to say the original artwork for Exile in Guyville has some mutilated doll heads on it or something. I’m hoping that’s an inspiration.


Betty Gilpin Cool. Yeah. I was very nervous about I definitely didn’t want to be. I think my greatest fear people will think that I wrote this thinking like, everyone knows who I am, so I should write a book. And I felt like that’s the opposite of what I feel. And I thought that being on the cover would solidify that fallacy, that like if it was like me shrugging, holding a magic and.comic mask on a toilet because.Yeah, you’re right.


Louis Virtel I do miss that era of like, like a Jane Pauley book cover where her, like, head’s in her hand and she’s, you know, thinking, I’m going to tell you about the news, but this time in a book, right?


Betty Gilpin Yes. So, yeah, I would always get my dad would always get me and my brothers for Christmas. My brothers would get like Lincoln biographies and I would get like Terry Garr Flooring It Through Hollywood. So I was like, this is so Texas. Like, I would rather read Terry Guards.


Louis Virtel But but nonetheless, among among celebrities, I think you are the number one person I was waiting for to write a book because your writing style is so specific and you can hear it just in the title alone. But but my first question is in writing about yourself, are you a fast writer or slow writer? Because these like images, like namely the metaphors you use are so specific to you that I assume they come to you immediately and you don’t even have to try to come up with them. But how? What’s your process like?


Betty Gilpin I am a fast ass writer and writing a book really worried me because my only writing experience for this book was writing the handful of essays like five or six that I’ve published a.k.a. sat on my computer and emailed them to whateverlamps.com, published it, and it felt very low stakes. And like I was on a plane and wrote a thing and emailed it and I knew that with a book it involved thought and outline and pitching before you actually write the thing. And I just thought like, oh gosh, is that going to sort of disrupt the creative process where I just I think I write how some people are actors, which I feel elitist about and infuriates me and now I am that with writers of I see some people don’t have any they’re not in their heads at all about acting and don’t really think about it. And they’re like, Oh, I just memorize and show up. Like, Do I even know who directed this. That’s kind of how I am as a writer. I just sort of wrote about it and now I, I don’t know, a long way of saying I did write fast and now write slow and now speak like this.


Ira Madison III First I want to talk about how this even came to you. You know, you just you said, you know, you wrote something out first and sort of I emailed that off. Was was this something that was like rattling in your brain during the pandemic, obviously? Or was it like you just had like the idea to write one thing and then you were like, oh, maybe this isn’t like an essay to put, like, I don’t know, and like Vulture or something. This is going to be a book.


Betty Gilpin Yeah, I think that there were these ideas brewing for a while and I had wanted to write a collection of essays. I, you know, I think that I just always felt like, you know, like when I was a big stoner, I never really learned how to roll a joint because I was like, Why not let the best joint roller in the room roll the joint? Why have a mediocre joint? And I kind of felt like that about books to sort of like, if it’s not going to be Tolstoy, Didion, why write the book? And then I would go into a bookstore and pick up the worst book I saw on the whatever display table and read a page and be like, This fucking person wrote a book and didn’t care. We should all just file prints on our mediocrities and all these coming. So yeah. And, and, you know, I had a, I had a baby and in, in quarantine and the hormones that come right after a baby, it’s like because I do do like every idea is a good idea. Like you’re at a rave constantly of your own validation inside your mind. So I wrote the book during that time and sent it before the hormones changed into like, every idea is bad and the world is dark. And I was like, Can I unsend the email of the book? There was no.


Louis Virtel But again, because you’re such a swift writer, seemingly, what is the kind of stuff that you find actually hardest to write? I mean, you’re self-deprecating in a way throughout the book that makes me think, Oh, it’s uncomfortable for you to share certain things, but you also are so exactly articulated about it. And you’re, as we’ve already heard, demented way that I can’t imagine it was actually all that hard all together. But what were the most difficult parts of the book for you?


Betty Gilpin Well, I would say exactly what you’re saying in that, like, I feel like I am now part of something that makes me cringe so hard about current culture that I’m completely contributing to, which is the branding of self-loathing and insecurity of like, ding, ding, ding. I have an announcement. Everyone, look at me. The announcement is, whoa, I’m an introvert. Why are you guys looking at me? Like, as you told us and look at you. You wrote, like, you know, I write a lot about self-deprecation and hating myself and depression, but I’m an actor who wrote a book about themselves. I’m not like a cowering introvert in Antarctica. So I think that was the hardest part of just, you know, catching my own eyes in the mirror or being like, Yeah, you’re writing about these themes, but you are sitting down and being like, And then I did this, so are you a hypocrite? But I tried to also lace that in, too. But yeah, I mean, you know, I think we all try to find like a middle ground between hating ourselves so much and insecure in a way that gives us perspective on ourselves and the world, but not so much that we’re not hiding in a room, not sharing any of our work. Like it’s the perfect balance of narcissism and hating yourself to put things out into the world.


Louis Virtel How refreshing. Thank you for putting it exactly like that.


Ira Madison III I remember last time you were here, you know, you talked about your acting process specifically. And I just wonder, like, how does that as an artist, like how do you feel like your writing process sort of informs that? Or are they like two separate sort of like beasts that you turn on?


Betty Gilpin Uh, No, I think they’re similar in like just disabling, trying. It’s like trying to trick yourself out of the hiccups, like just trying to disable a voice in your head. That’s like, this is happening right now. Like, almost like when you’re stoned, you’re like, what do I do with my hands? Like, I feel like just trying to disable that voice like it’s happening right now. Is this good? Why are you doing this? Like I. And I really think being in quarantine and not literally not having any other human voices around to to get in my head really helped with the book. You know, I think similarly with acting, I’m really finding it an interesting, not struggle, adjustment, I would say the first ten years out of college, I was really only doing off-Broadway theater where like the failures and successes were pretty quiet and in a vacuum, sort of. And now that, you know, I’m in this blip of time where a few more ears and eyes are pointed towards me, whether or not they’re liking what I’m doing or not, it just feels a little less for free. I get a little superstitious that to me it’s like the difference between a podcast and a live podcast where you can tell the hosts are just a little churned out to the audience. And I it always makes me a little sad. And I feel like I can chart that with actors too, of like, like the kids in Harry Potter. I feel like as the movies went on, you could tell that they were a little more aware that like it’s for more people. And I think it just gets harder to be authentic when you’re like playing to the audience. And I just get, I don’t know, I get superstitious about that. Like the success equal becoming a bad actor. Why worry.


Louis Virtel I mean, that must have been somewhat surreal when you found yourself alongside Sean Penn and Julia Roberts, like definitive actors, like said like the thing you were doing casually and on stage and as you said in a vacuum is now with like the people who are in the Wikipedia article for movie star.


Betty Gilpin Yeah, totally. Completely. Yeah. Although I feel like that tips over into like when you’re that big of a star, not that you can control the environment to make it as comfortable as possible for yourself in order to do the work that you need to do. Like I remember the other day doing a scene in this nun show I’m doing. And they were like, Oh, can you look at this piece of tape on the camera instead of your scene partner? He’ll be right there. You just do the dramatic scene for the tape instead of him. And you’re you’re it. So I’m sure you guys, it’s just so hard for your brain to compute, like tape. Not that person. Tape, not that person. And we did one take and I was like, I’m so sorry. Can we do it to him? Can we find a way? And like, I don’t know, ten years ago, I never would have had the balls or whatever to say that. And I feel like Julia Roberts and Sean Penn can be like, can the tape not exist? And that sound and this person. Okay, now I’m ready to do the scene. I don’t know. It’s it’s it is kind of an advantage.


Ira Madison III I think about that.


Betty Gilpin By the way.


Ira Madison III Yes. Oh, go ahead.


Betty Gilpin Sorry. Last time I mentioned that we all have the same birthday. And I just want to clarify, we have the same birthday and birth year. We were the three of us. We were in within weeks of each other.


Louis Virtel Yeah. You’re July. You’re July 86. And Ira’s July 86 and I’m in August 86.


Betty Gilpin Yes. Like we were high fiving across the rostrum, astro projecting to each other as infants. Just wanted to say that we didn’t.


Louis Virtel We were all our parents are all sitting around waiting for the movie Platoon to come out and they’re like, I guess I’ll give birth.


Betty Gilpin Like, I can’t believe we’re going to miss Platoon Premiere.


Ira Madison III I also have.


Betty Gilpin Anyway.


Ira Madison III Though I also have this theory to it. Maybe it’s I think you agree that maybe it was yours too, Louis, that like everyone born, like specifically when we were our first movie in theaters was The Little Mermaid.


Louis Virtel Yes, that was mine.


Betty Gilpin Oh yeah. Totally.


Ira Madison III I feel like it’s the first one where you’re old enough, where your parents are like, I’m taking you to the movies and here’s this Disney thing that’s out.


Betty Gilpin Yes, completely. Yes. And now being old enough to have like the sad clothes that we were in middle school be like irony. Where for Olivia Rodriguez is, you’re crazy. Oh, that’s that’s where we’re at. Okay.


Louis Virtel Yeah. No, I’m and I have like a millennial MAGA reaction to that clothing where I’m like, I already remember having to dress like I knew about skateboarding. Yeah. From the ages of 11 through 16. And I refuse to go back so completely. I believe in the anime.


Betty Gilpin And believe in hairstyle and really couldn’t. Yeah. No, it takes me back when I see like a sketchers and a lollipop and the Thumbelina. It takes me back to being at a montessori school for middle school. And I had gotten like antibiotics for something but not exciting. And I kept the orange pill bottle. And like, when someone would come around the hallway, I would take the empty bottle on me. I like to have them think that I was on pills. That’s every time I see Olivia Rodrigo, I’m like, Oh my God. I was a disturnbed child. And as far.


Louis Virtel She’s appropriating your.


Ira Madison III Yeah.


Betty Gilpin My my blanched to what as a seventh grader skater who’d never skated.


Louis Virtel That would sell in the room by the way and it would sell to me. So if you want to pitch that.


Betty Gilpin Keep  going right now.


Louis Virtel Yeah.


Ira Madison III  what I want to also know is, you know, you know, you were joking about like the Teri Garr book, you know, versus like link it, you know, like what.


Louis Virtel The two genders.


Betty Gilpin Ryan Murphy. Get on this theory. Yeah.


Ira Madison III What essay books like do you enjoy? You know, like what inspired you or, like, made you feel like, you know, this is my this is my research for doing this, you know, the same way that you have, you know, your research that made you become an actress.


Betty Gilpin I mean, I. I really love Eve Babbitt’s.


Louis Virtel Oh, me too. I kind of should. When she died, there was like a moment where we talked about her, but, yeah, there needs to be more.


Betty Gilpin There really needs to be more. And I also I’m filming right now in L.A. and, you know, I’m a New Yorker, and whenever I land in L.A., I’m like, I need to read Eve Babbitt’s, to try to connect to the I just think of L.A. as only ever existing now, it’s like a pilot season bubble to me. I’m like, No, this place has a history as well. People were artsy and drunk here in the seventies just like they were in your and reading Eve Babbitts to me is kind of the portal to connecting to the the blood and soil of Los Angeles. I really love her and I don’t know why. Sloane Crosley I would say it’s very interesting doing book press as opposed to actor press where, you know, usually it’s like you’re playing with puppies and sound biting your personality by learning about how, you know, feminism is adorable. And now it’s like, what are what tomes are you reading? I’m reading the rewrite of episode seven and I’m having trouble getting through it. So, you know, while I do read. I wouldn’t say I’d like a human library on wheels, although maybe I am. I don’t know.


Louis Virtel The weird. The weird thing about L.A. is, like, a lot of it looks like we we built it, like, 15 years ago. But actually, if you like our walking around West Hollywood, it’s like, no, the place where, like, Janis Joplin was 10 minutes before she died is still there in the same.


Betty Gilpin Totally.


Louis Virtel Right next to a Barry’s boot camp now. Yeah, yeah.


Betty Gilpin Yeah. I listen to a lot of. Oh, what’s the podcast? You must remember this early.


Ira Madison III And I love Korina.


Betty Gilpin Yes. Before Glow was canceled, I listened to it. Waiting for. Waiting for Glow to start up again. And I would Google all the old houses that she would like Betty Davis’s house and drive to it and sit outside and drive home. Yeah.


Louis Virtel Yeah. You occupying yourself during the pandemic must have been a real challenge. I mean, you’re just a, shall we say, spunky brained person. What were your favorite techniques?


Betty Gilpin I mean, you know, I got pregnant like March 13th, 2020. So much of the pandemic was just being pregnant. And I think I think it was, you know, in the how I’ve I’m pretty good at being like the sidekick or cycled selves for whoever is whatever role or person whatever. And I think I was always afraid to be pregnant because I was like, Oh, that’s for people who know exactly who they are and what to do and what vitamins to take and have the right research and an organized purse. And doing it in a vacuum by myself, I mean with my husband. But in quarantine, where there were no other like voices chiming in, it was I got to sort of play the part of, I don’t know, a good island person. So a lot of it was just, yeah, being pregnant and looking at Bettye Davis’s house and a lot of watching YouTube videos of like big guy moments and football that are emotional. And I’m not a football. Like, that’s how I missed society. Like, you know, heartwarming sportsmanship moments in baseball. I mean, I don’t like sports at all. And then like Susan Lucci winning the Emmy, I. I watched a lot.


Ira Madison III Iconic moment.


Louis Virtel Yes.


Ira Madison III Yes.


Louis Virtel Thank you Shemar Moore.


Betty Gilpin Rosie O’Donnell, screaming tears. You’re so beautiful. Watch it if you haven’t.


Louis Virtel Actually. Rosie O’Donnell winning an Emmy once upon a time where she thanks Oprah. I think she wins. It’s the first time she wins for the Rosie O’Donnell Show. And she thinks Oprah and says literally, I have a scrapbook of you. And it was like the kind of thing that was is a compliment. But if she wasn’t saying it in an Emmy speech would sound like she was like a threat, like threatening Oprah. Like I’m coming after you.


Betty Gilpin I have your catch.


Ira Madison III Yeah. Yeah. You know, it’s it’s interesting that you even mentioned, like, Eve, and you must remember this because I feel like, you know, as a person who, you know, spends time at both New York and L.A., I feel like I was drawn to noir films so much just because they feel like the one sort of like Hollywood film that has documented Los Angeles in the way that, you know, like comedy is, you know, like, you know, like a Woody Allen or a Scorsese, you know, like those like were very much like we are documenting New York City, but L.A. more has it’s just people were committing murder.


Betty Gilpin Completely. I’m the show, The Nun show, Mrs. Davis. We film a lot of it on the Warner Brothers lot in stage 16, which is like really, really tall stage. And they have outside on a plaque all the movies that have been filmed there. It’s like The Big Sleep and Goonies. And I mean, I think Goonies is Noir.


Louis Virtel Kind of.


Betty Gilpin But, you know, I’m thinking about like Lauren Bacall walking around memorizing her lines, you know, falling in love with Humphrey Bogart. It’s you know, I my I grew up sort of obsessed with theater. And I don’t have like Ali Brie and I talk all the time about she has like an encyclopedic knowledge of film in a way that I really don’t. Reason trillion why I would never want to direct anything. I just don’t see our jobs like that.


Ira Madison III Mm hmm.


Betty Gilpin Just haven’t, like, perfect picture memory of of movies and stuff. But I don’t know. I’m trying to get Louis. I feel like you do you have an encyclopedic knowledge?


Louis Virtel Oh, I have somebody put a chip in me in an early age that doesn’t feel like I ever learned it. It’s just sitting there.


Betty Gilpin Right. And can you picture movies like that can use, like, frames and stuff. And do you have lots the.


Louis Virtel Yes, but I’m not one of those people where I would really necessarily be able to like identify every quote from a movie like someone you bring up a movie and then they can say five things from it. I’m more like I know the Wikipedia’s of movies really well.


Betty Gilpin Yes, right. Oh, I was thinking we were waiting to get into the zoom of this. I was thinking about the lore story of the premiere of the women that Norma Shearer and Joan Crawford both circled the premiere like 20 times because they both didn’t want to be the first ones. Like before cell phones. Like, how did that happen? Like just slowly going by. She’s not there yet. And if we were Joan Crawford in Norma Shearer entering the zoom.


Louis Virtel Thank you for putting it exactly in my language. I’ve never felt more seen before.


Betty Gilpin You can be Joan if you want to. I’ll be Norma.


Louis Virtel Ira, so I guess that makes you Joan Fontaine or Rosalind Russell or George Cukor maybe.


Betty Gilpin Would be it. Yeah. Yes. The Women is the movie I would watch every day when I was sick for like  school. Yeah.


Louis Virtel I also I don’t know if you watch RuPaul’s Drag Race at all, do you?


Betty Gilpin You know, I did. And then it makes me uncomfortable in the same way that all reality TV makes me. I just get nervous for everyone.


Louis Virtel Oh, sure. Well, Rosalind Russell in The Women looks exactly like RuPaul’s Drag Race winner Violet Chatzky. I need somebody to.


Betty Gilpin Oh, yes.


Louis Virtel Just like put them together.


Betty Gilpin Totally.


Louis Virtel It’s very like bone chilling.


Betty Gilpin A pile of type girls and like. Yes. Yes, absolutely. Totally.


Louis Virtel Important for me to bring up exactly in this moment. I also want to say quickly. Speaking of acting, you are the child of actors as is established in this book.


Betty Gilpin Yes.


Louis Virtel And you go into I mean, you basically start the book by saying and this is why I am the way I am.


Betty Gilpin Right.


Louis Virtel To to explain everything that we read going forward. But what is it like having two actors as parents? I find that to be an incredibly strange situation.


Betty Gilpin Yeah. I mean, you know, it wasn’t strange growing. It didn’t seem strange. And now being an actor, like, oh, that was so weird. Yeah, they did. So I grew up in New York and, you know, New York actors in the from 86 on, you know, in the eighties and nineties, New York actors did mostly theater and law and order. And that’s really what my parents did. And then like my parents are in a handful of like a Chevy Chase movie and my mom has three lines in Moonstruck. My dad was in Revenge of the Nerds part two, Nerds in Paradise, just like a handful of things that are on at 3 a.m.. You’re like, Oh my God. And my dad. His soul has always been a 71 year old butler, probably since he was three years old, and now he plays a church on Gilded Age as a 71 year old butler. And it just feels like something in the universe clicked into place. All is right in the universe. He’s so good on that show. And yeah, I would say I’m sort of half my dad and half my mom. My dad is very stern butler Atticus Finch person and my mom is Lucille Ball complete farce incarnate of a woman by fiery red hair and I’m kind of half of each of them and yeah, I sort of grew up in stage managers memorizing their plays and really fell in love with it through honestly, like them talking shit in their dressing room. So it’s like, how do we get this job? Words about, like, talking shit in a way, I need that. So maybe I should watch RuPaul’s Drag Race.


Louis Virtel You know, I would say there’s a specific kind of movie where, like, all the day players in it are like New York actors. They’re shooting it in New York. So like, like the movie quiz show, like.


Betty Gilpin My dad quiz show.


Louis Virtel That’s exactly. That’s what I mean. It’s like that’s like it’s like how you can tell what these movies are in the nineties because Debra Monk is in them you know like they just went exactly to that brand of actor.


Betty Gilpin Completely. I used to have like a quiz show merch jacket, like I used the merch I used to have, but I just carelessly tossed away like a Kate and Ali hoodie and a quiz show  jacket.


Louis Virtel Oh, my God.


Betty Gilpin Oh, God. What was that? Yeah. Yeah, I had a million all gone now.


Louis Virtel Betty, you could have a Kate and Ali hoodie, and then I could be buried in it some day. Now they’re lost. It’s lost to time.


I’m desperate to find. I’ve scoured YouTube for my dad. My dad played the cranky neighbor on Kate and Ally, and I cannot find any cameo and I need to find it.


Ira Madison III I actually have an interesting question to about you discusses like act directing too just because I started out in theater mostly and I feel like the thing that draws me to wanting to direct is I at least as a writer, like love actors on the stage, you know, and working with them. And do you feel like you would be more interested in directing for the stage than you would be for film? Or is it still about something that interests you?


Betty Gilpin If I could do it with somebody who loved the like shot list part and all the parts that aren’t talking to actors about scenes, I would love doing that part and just sort of, you know, figuring out how to make this scene the best it could be just through the acting. But I really, you know, the more I work, the more I realize how small of a piece the acting is. And actors, like if I created a show or directed a show and the actors are like the last thing to come in. And it takes so long to make stuff and to write stuff and do direct stuff. And then and then the actors are the one that go out and, and do the press. I would just be so angry that, like, Cindy is the one who goes out and the pieces that the piece that Betty wrote and direct, like, get Cindy out of there. Cindy doesn’t know what she’s talking about. I know. And now knowing how hard it is to direct. Yeah, I would just the pressure of everything being on your shoulders. Ira, you want to direct film or you want to direct theater? Oh, you are?


Ira Madison III I could do both, actually. I did theater in college. Directed theater in college. So, you know, I love I think the way that which going to school I went to Loyola Chicago for undergrad and then Tisch for grad.


Betty Gilpin Oh, cool.


Ira Madison III I just think the way that I see the stage is sort of I see the pictures first. Whatever I like, read anything or even write anything. And then I think about what the actors are doing. So.


Betty Gilpin Right. What was your most avant garde production in college?


Louis Virtel Let’s hear about it. Laurie Anderson? Yeah. You hung from the ceiling. And what happened?


Ira Madison III I did. And in that directing class, I did scenes from Return of the King. Sorry. Exit the King. I did Exit the King of. I did exit. We’ve been thinking about Lord of the Rings today. I did scenes from Exit the King and I. Speaking of like Susan Lucci, All My Children, like I still watch daytime soap operas. So that was during college when my friends and I were very invested in watching, like Young and the Restless on Fridays or when we didn’t have class. And so I.


Betty Gilpin Had a Friday slot. That’s tough.


Ira Madison III I set, Exit the King in like this boardroom. And I had like and I used, Used like walls like the, you know, the like divider walls I used I had people opening them as like an elevator because my brain was very much that if they’re in a boardroom, you need to constantly see extras getting on and off an elevator as they’re having the scene in the boardroom by the elevators.


Louis Virtel L.A. Law has brainwashed him.


Betty Gilpin I did an amazing I did a Laramie Project where we all would and it was everyone wore a white button ups and jeans and you would enter as Betty. Louis or Ira, just enter as yourself, kind of look at the audience and then roll down the spine. And roll up in your your character. And that’s what we did and invited Dress for Marion Selvis was?


Louis Virtel Oh, yes. Oh, great interview we came up on YouTube. Yes.


Betty Gilpin Yes, you’re like we’ve had her on the podcast.


Ira Madison III No, no.


Betty Gilpin She was like the game of the theater were all purple, purple scarves. I had her as a teacher in college. Wow. And she was our only audience member of our Invited Dress Laramie Project. And every she was the best audience we’ve ever had because I’ve ever had to this date, because after every line, she’ll be like, Oh, no.


Ira Madison III And she was, Oh.


Betty Gilpin We’re all we are. This is Art. Marian is loving this.


Ira Madison III The The Laramie Project still haunts me to this day because I did. I was assistant stage manager for our Loyola production of the Laramie Project, and our director was obsessed with more than the movement of the actors, the movement of the chairs. So can you imagine trying to imagine trying to mark where every fucking chair is an everyday chair, so.


Betty Gilpin It’s a chair show. So we had chairs and stools and benches and there was I remember the chair being a thing and I remember being on mushrooms for tech and I didn’t mean to be disrespectful.


Louis Virtel Before I move on to our final question, I just want to say there’s a interview with Marion Selvis and Angela Lansbury as they prepare for a production of Deuce that everybody should look up.


Betty Gilpin Cristin Milioti gave me for my for my baby, a Deuceonsie for my child. We we love Deuce. I have a Deuce magnet on my fridge. Yeah, I do. Yeah.


Louis Virtel Actually, I was about to say my final question was your having your sort of, you know, who who are your sort of kindred spirits in terms of fellow actors? And if Cristin Milioti is giving you Deuce regalia. Yeah, I’m saying she must be up there.


Betty Gilpin Well, completely, I mean, in the book, I write a lot about, you know, female friendships and how a lot of them started as a far away eye rol. And Kristen was definitely one of those people where I was losing every part to her. I think this is a monster. I never want to be near this person. And then we did one play together like I’d die for you. You’re my sister. Yeah. Kristen, we were just talking yesterday about, like, what? Can we just do a television show together and do that for 20 years? Like, I don’t want to make self tapes anymore. And she pitched arsenic and old life origin story. Is the plot.


Louis Virtel Oh yes.


Betty Gilpin Like that? That would be it.


Louis Virtel Oh. God. Betty, it’s actually painful to interview you. You’re heading like a fire, but somebody. Synapses are firing me. I’m, like, clutching a wall. Josephine Hull. Please, let’s go there.


Betty Gilpin Yeah, my dad. My dad did a production of arsenic laced with Joanne Woodward at the Westport County Playhouse. And I saw so many performances of it from the stage manager’s booth. It was wonderful. Or where was it? I don’t know it was in my memory.


Louis Virtel Wait, was your dad the Carrie Grant role you see. Like. Like. Mortimer Snerd. Yes. Yes.


Ira Madison III Yes. Oh. Oh. Well. Well. Thank you for being here, Betty. I mean, I loved, I love diverging into of a theater talk with you. So much fun.


Betty Gilpin Thank you so much for having me.


Ira Madison III And I’m going to have nightmares about The Laramie Project again. Now.


Betty Gilpin I know. I don’t know why. Like my tailbone. Why did you bring it that?


Ira Madison III I don’t think anyone who did The Laramie Project in school like, left a production of it unscathed.


Betty Gilpin No, no. Yeah, yeah. But post your horror story.


Louis Virtel This can be a sharing moment for all of us. And also I just want to reiterate, this book is so special and it just immediately gets you into the brain of Betty Gilpin. But it’s such a joyful rad, strange place.


Betty Gilpin For better or worse.


Louis Virtel To be. So I’m very thrilled you wrote it.


Betty Gilpin Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you, guys. Thank you. Thank you.


Ira Madison III Thank you. Betty’s book, All The Women In My Brains and Other Concerns is out now wherever you get your books.




Ira Madison III The Venice International Film Festival is happening now in Italy with films like Don’t Worry, Darling and the Whale already generating buzz. And let me tell you, we need to get into Don’t Worry, Darling, first, because this has this has unraveled into more than chaos.


Louis Virtel No. I mean, I can’t think of a film festival moment that’s more insane, recently. I have memories of the movie W.E. that Madonna directed, and I think it was pilloried immediately, and the people showed up. And they’re such August actors, like, you know, Andrea Riseborough and Abbie CORNISH and James D’Arcy. And it was I remember that being extremely awkward, but this is just a new level. Like literally the arrangement of how these people are standing on a red carpet is like, it could only be that way because any other way shots would be fired at each other.


Ira Madison III Um, Don’t worry, Darling finally premiered at the Venice Film Festival this week. And we talked last week about the, you know, the the Florence and Olivia alleged feud and, you know.


Louis Virtel The firing of Shia LaBeouf and why that happened. And was Olivia unfair to quote unquote, Miss Flo but you know, kind of talking behind her back in an attempt to keep Shia on the movie, did that factor into Florence Pugh not doing any press for this movie, not talking about the movie on her social media after initially being excited for it. Lots of rumors, lots of speculation.


Ira Madison III And listen, I know we wanted to go to the place of saying that maybe it was misogyny, you know, that was creating some feud between Florence and Olivia. But it seems like it’s real, baby.


Louis Virtel Yeah, I’m I. The footage speaks for itself. I mean, so Florence shows up to the Venice Film Festival.


Ira Madison III Late, by the way, because because there was a report that her plane was going to land at, like, 1:30 or two. She arrives, like, 15 minutes into the press conference in head to tail in, like Valentino, a three piece, a three piece. She was fucking gorgeous. And then, yeah, a video of her just sauntering around with an apherol spritz in her hand, goes viral.


Louis Virtel Can I tell you something? And I and I’m a Florence Pugh stan, we bring up Lady Macbeth a lot loved her Midsommar, Little Women. I didn’t love the aperol video. I kind of thought she was cooler when she was above the fray in this situation. And not I’m not saying she’s like participating in the drama by doing this, but it just felt a little unbothered, dot gifs.


Ira Madison III It felt like. It felt like, you know, a present to the most basic Twitter stans.


Ira Madison III Hmm. That’s fair. I love her leaning.


Louis Virtel She looked amazing.


Ira Madison III Looked amazing and that she looked amazing. And the dress she wore to the premiere and I loved the gorgeous shots of her just like in the boat on on the way to the premiere. Like, there’s one of her, like, sitting in the boat. And I was just like, this is this is cinema.


Louis Virtel But also, I have to say, flying in from Budapest specifically, there’s a specific Agatha Christie glamor to that which is very appropriate for the drama of this situation because I’m getting a And Then There Were None type murder vibes from this cast.


Ira Madison III I think I literally tweeted like, is Hercule Perro in Venice?


Louis Virtel Yeah.


Ira Madison III Because there’s two more weeks until this film comes out. The only way the stakes could get higher is if someone dies.


Louis Virtel Yeah, right. Like an unreal. Like. Like Nick Kroll mysteriously vanishes.


Ira Madison III Like Kiki Layne wasn’t even at the premiere.


Louis Virtel Right. If Beale Street Could Talk, If These Suspects Could Talk.


Ira Madison III Yeah. And it’s very suspicious that Kate Berlant is in previews now for her show.


Louis Virtel Yes.


Ira Madison III When this film was supposed to premiere, she couldn’t wait.


Louis Virtel Hmm.


Ira Madison III Anyway. Yeah.


Louis Virtel Everyone’s a suspect. I love it. Yeah.


Ira Madison III Olivia Wilde dodged questions about the feud at the press conference, saying, as for all the endless tabloid gossip and all the noise out there, the Internet feeds itself. I don’t feel the need to contribute. I think it’s sufficiently well nourished. Which is. A way to say nothing. And it also sounds like she’s saying.


Louis Virtel But also true enough.


Ira Madison III Yeah, yeah, true enough. But also it’s past tabloid gossip at this point.


Louis Virtel Yeah, right. It’s in every outlet.


Ira Madison III And it’s also funny that she said this. There’s this whole theme going around Venice now, too, because Timothee Chalamet when when when she showed up in her halter top.


Louis Virtel Yeah. I fucking love that. Film festival press is exhausting in many ways, but Timothee Chalamet and Cate Blanchett specifically, when they put the looks together. I’m sorry, there’s just something about the two of them that, like, you have to look at them and you have to comment on whatever it is they’re wearing because it’s a combination of both old school glamor and insanity. Like, it’s great.


Ira Madison III But there was a whole theme running around that went from Chalamet to Olivia Wilde because he was just randomly talking about the effect of social media when he was there promoting Bones and All is said to be young now and to be young. Whatever I can always speak for my generation is to be intensely judged. I can’t imagine what it is to grow up without the onslaught of social media.


Louis Virtel Wow.


Ira Madison III And he thinks this is so society.


Louis Virtel The press drag.


Ira Madison III He thinks there’s a societal collapse in the air?


Louis Virtel Maybe he’s secretly a B. He sounds like one of the bees talking. What’s interesting also is that he was also filming the movie, the next Dune movie, like Florence Pugh. But he has gotten sufficient time off to do the press for the Bones and All thing. So the fact that Florence.


Ira Madison III She’s been doing shows. Okay. Well, yes, hanging out with every celebrity that’s in Venice, walking the boulevard, the boardwalk, whatever they walk in Venice. He has been, it’s like, have you been shooting a movie, girl?


Louis Virtel Right, no. So the fact that Florence as as being like, oh, sorry. I was, you know, in Hungary making my movie, I could, you know, sufficiently participate in this as like it sounds like they could have worked that out.


Ira Madison III Also, maybe he didn’t like the aperol spritz video, but I like celebrities using the people who work for them to do the dirty work.


Louis Virtel Yes I enjoy that myself.


Ira Madison III Florence’s stylist has posted a photo of her in her dress in the hotel, you know, sipping a drink. I think it’s another aperol spritz. Although it’s darker red, it might be a Campari and soda. This is me being an investigative journalist here.


Louis Virtel No, you’re Eric. You’ll be.Yeah, right.


Ira Madison III But her stylist wrote just for the caption, Ms. Flo.


Louis Virtel All right. So they’ve seen the video of Olivia.


Ira Madison III They’ve seen the video. And then. Um. Olivia’s stylist put up an Instagram story that simply like it’s just a photo of a hallway. So she just took a photo and then wrote ominously. There’s always more to the story. Dot, dot, dot.


Louis Virtel Okay. I mean, that’s not evidence one way or the other.


Ira Madison III You’re not helping.


Louis Virtel Also, it’s like that’s so open ended. It’s like she was saying, well, Florence Pugh is a murderer. You know, like just like, what’s the implication from that?


Ira Madison III As a stylists feuding with one another? Clearly, one of them is the suspect.


Louis Virtel Right.


Ira Madison III Clearly, one of them actually did it. When? When the body drops.


Louis Virtel Right. So, by the way, crazily enough, so the movie premiered and got a five minute standing ovation, which, if you’re familiar with press from film festivals, means it’s not that good because at these premieres, if you don’t clap for 10 minutes, literally people clap for like 17 minutes for the movie Mud. When’s the last time you saw the movie Mud? Right. It seems impossible to clap for 5 minutes at anything. I don’t think I could clap for 5 minutes at, like, the murder of Osama bin Laden if I was there live. And yet people somehow sustain it because the stars are there and they each take time to bow and, you know, kind of acknowledge each other. But five is just not that much time, which makes me think this movie is like a C minus, though I am now extremely intrigued and still have to see.


Ira Madison III Also, Florence left after 4 minutes of clapping.


Louis Virtel Right and did not look at Olivia the entire time she was standing there.


Ira Madison III Did not. And so that is all of the drama that’s going on between them. Now we have to talk about Harry Styles.


Louis Virtel It’s so. And like his drama drags in Chris Pine, like everybody gets a moment and that’s this.


Ira Madison III First bit of it is the fact that no one knows of Harry Styles or Olivia Wilde are still together because their whole thing is they don’t talk about their relationship publicly. And like, aside from like the early paparazzi photos, don’t really hang out in public together either. But they showed up on the red carpet and also did not acknowledge one another.


Louis Virtel Huh.


Ira Madison III At all. And he sits down and when he sits down, Chris Pine is sitting between them. And there’s also not an acknowledgment between Olivia and Harry whatsoever.


Louis Virtel It seems like a perfectly run movie. It seems like everything is going according to the way they want it.


Ira Madison III Chris Pratt and Gemma Chan do all of this work to be the people who are between all of the people who are feuding.


Louis Virtel Right to be gargoyles between these tabloid stars. So there’s a clip now of Chris Pine sitting next to Olivia Wilde. And then Harry Styles walks in to, you know, like the millions of screams, you know. And we’re trying to do is whether or not he spit jokingly or perhaps sincerely on Chris Pine as he sits down. And Chris Pine has a look, a kind of shock on his face. And it takes extra leaning in to see that Harry does something. Potentially spitting, and we think it’s a joke. But what’s going on there?


Ira Madison III Let me tell you something. I have always been so sad that I did not live through the JFK assassination. Because, you know, the the excitement around it, you know, and then seeing Jackie, you know, like, you know, like blood splattered, you know, like ascending to American culture, like the heights of it, and then also like the Zapruder film.


Louis Virtel Right now.


Ira Madison III This, this, this is that. Yeah.


Louis Virtel And no one died. You know, it’s an improvement upon the JFK assassination. I have to say.


Ira Madison III Nobody died? The way that yesterday scrolling Twitter, I saw 19 different angles of a Harry sitting down next to Chris. With people ddeducing was it just spit? Was Chris Pine just high? And he was put his glasses. There’s a moment where he has a sunglasses in his hand. He puts them down and then looks down and then it’s like, Oh, my glasses are there and picks them back up. So it’s like, was he just stoned and couldn’t remember that he put his glasses down and that that happened to coincide with Harry walking over to him at just that moment? Or was this bit.


Louis Virtel And also, by the way, this would be a jarring enough moment because Chris Pine also happens to look insane at this given moment. He has the hair of like an American gladiator named Viper or something, and spectacles. And he seemed underresponsive to almost everything occurring, let alone being spit on.


Ira Madison III Not even to mention him sitting next to Harry in an interview where he’s talking about the film and Harry’s, you know, like the thing about this movie is it’s a movie.


Louis Virtel Oh, my God. I was going through. Kyle Buchanan was at the. Our friend Kyle Buchanan was at the press conference for this, tweeting Harry Styles quotes. And I have to say, Woof. Some of them are like. I love acting because I don’t know what I’m doing. I wouldn’t say that at this given moment. You know, after that one clip goes around.


Ira Madison III She’s a working class pop star. Okay.


Louis Virtel Right? Yes, he’s he’s the new.


Ira Madison III He was plucked.


Louis Virtel Mick Jagger was Bruce Springsteen and whatever else that he’s supposed to fucking be.


Ira Madison III Yeah. Plucked by Simon Cowell. Okay. Right.


Louis Virtel That’s right. That’s right.


Ira Madison III The thing that.


Louis Virtel Apparently, though, in the reviews, the reviews are kind of middling for this movie, but actually people seem to be giving Harry more credit than we thought he was going to be. Yeah. Well.


Ira Madison III Assuming nothing insane happens next week, the next we’ll be talking about Don’t Worry, Darling goes when it actually comes out because I will be seated.


Louis Virtel Oh, this is so fuckin lovely. I cannot wait. Alonzo Darrylde, from the Wrap wrote, I thought it really what seemed to be a review I expected of this movie, which is it’s full of twists, but also twists you’ve seen in other movies 70 times. He’s like, I think his quote was, I’m surprised Bruce Willis being dead wasn’t part of the movie.


Ira Madison III The other thing to come out of Venice was Darren Aronofsky’s the Whale and Brendan Fraser. Got a six minute standing ovation.


Louis Virtel Let me just say about Brendan Fraser in 2022. I did not expect so much Al Gore biopic to be coming off him. He was doing these bios. I was like, Here comes the. I feel like he can win an Oscar for playing Al Gore someday.


Ira Madison III I love Brendan Fraser. I’ve always loved Brendan Fraser. I’m happy for this Brendan Fraser comeback. He was supposed to be in Batgirl, I feel like. But, you know, we know what happened in that film. And I’m excited for a new Darren Aronofsky film, too, because let me tell you something. I think he’s actually one of my favorite directors.


Louis Virtel I don’t love Black Swan even though it is very entertaining. I thought Mother was admirable, even though it is also one of the most annoying movies of all time. But no, I like Darren Aronofsky.


Ira Madison III What’s your favorite then?


Louis Virtel My favorite Darren Aronofsky movie is. I’m going to say Requiem for a Dream, even though there are frustrating moments in that too, because the Ellen Burstyn performance alone is just gobsmacking that she gave us that in 2000. And again, it was her versus Julia Roberts and Erin Brockovich. I mean, like apples and oranges. I think voters had a tough decision to make.


Ira Madison III I think mines The Wrestler.


Louis Virtel Well, that was when Marisa Tomei was like, by the way, I am still that fucking bitch.


Ira Madison III Yeah, Marisa Tomei. And like, honestly, like, Mickey Rourke did what needed to be done.


Louis Virtel Oh, no, he was so harrowing in that movie. And so sometimes a role and and actor line up in just a way where it’s like already poignant. And then what they do with it in the movie is just excellent. You know, like I’m sort of waiting for, like, Nick Nolte to have a movie like that again where I guess Warrior had a little bit in that for him. But I would I would like something else to kind of get all his power one last time.


Ira Madison III You mean you didn’t like Nick Nolte in the Hulk?


Louis Virtel I know. And, you know, that’s my favorite film. Which is.


Ira Madison III But I will also say.


Louis Virtel No. I’m happy for Brendan Fraser too. I ended up mysteriously in Palm Springs over the weekend catching some of the Mummy Returns on TV. Is that the most expensive movie of all time that looks like it was entirely furnished at Z Gallery. Everything is like Egypt, but also like a dining room table. Just like it looks like an Egypt themed movie. Not like we’re actually in Egypt.


Ira Madison III The Mummy Returns was a cinematic event. Okay. I love those movies so much.


Louis Virtel Rachel Weisz in this movie. I mean, she’s so breathtakingly gorgeous, but also styled so corny, her eyeliner and like hair, like barrel curls. It’s so funny.


Ira Madison III The one thing I’ll say is that I liked the Scorpion King.


Louis Virtel I did not. I saw that in theaters and was revolted.


Ira Madison III I went to the Scorpion King. I did not love the third mummy film Tomb of the Dragon Emperor. Starred Brenden and Jet Li. And it was set in China. It was like a Chinese mummy. Michelle Yeoh’s in it. Shout out to her.


Louis Virtel That sounds about right.


Ira Madison III And then also, shockingly, as a Tom Cruise stan. I do not like his version of The Mummy. I tried to watch it on a plane that.


Louis Virtel I didn’t realize that movie.


Ira Madison III And I fell asleep 20 minutes into it.


Louis Virtel Wow. Theme of the episode. What I didn’t realize about that movie was it was supposed to, like, kind of kick off a dark universe. Yes, right. And then that’s just gone now, like we’re done.


Ira Madison III But I think it’s still happening. Which is which is very confusing. But, yeah, the movie’s bad. But Tom Cruise, I will see you at the movies.


Louis Virtel Yeah, you will.


Ira Madison III If that ad is beautiful.


Louis Virtel Brendan Fraser also of course was in the movie Blast From the Past, which I need to say about that movie over the weekend. I was with Matt Rogers, who I guess has a podcast and I mistakenly said, Oh, bass in the past with Brendan Fraser and Heather Graham. And he goes, No, I think it’s Alicia Silverstone. And I was like, I hate when you correct me with your inferior pop culture knowledge. And I looked it up and I was shocked to misremember that it was Alicia Silverstone.


Ira Madison III Yeah, it’s Alicia, baby. I love Blast from the Past. It’s so dumb.


Louis Virtel Just a silly movie.


Ira Madison III I just remember that. Well, Jenifer Louis is in that film.


Louis Virtel Our friend. Yes.


Ira Madison III And I just remember from the trailer all the time, the trailer was constantly on TV because it was about Brendan Fraser, you know, being in a fallout shelter and his parents keeping them him there his entire life. When he comes out of the shelter, I believe he sees a black boy. What he says are, Oh, my lucky stars, a Negro.


Louis Virtel No, I don’t remember that.


Ira Madison III That line in the trailer. I don’t remember if it’s in the actual movie, but it was in the trailer and I thought you’d like the trailer would be, you know, on TV like three times a day.


Louis Virtel I mean, I guess I’m not surprised, but about to throw that in the trailer is really something.


Ira Madison III I think that’s about it.


Louis Virtel Yeah. So anyway, he’s he’s very it’s it sounds like it’s going to be him against Timothee Chalamet in the best actor category so far. Mind you, you cannot trust.


Ira Madison III Venice.


Louis Virtel Film Festival press.


Ira Madison III No, you can’t, you know.


Louis Virtel No, because you read like a tweet from someone being like The Whale isn’t a normal drama. It’s one of the best movies ever. And then you’re like, You check the bio, and it turns out they’ve only seen three movies before.


Ira Madison III So the only thing I the only other thing I’m excited about is the new Martin McDonagh film on the Banshees of Inishowen. Even though I don’t like his movies as much as I like his plays and I will say Hangmen on Broadway was fucking fantastic.


Louis Virtel I will also say about Martin McDonagh that after three billboards, I believe we sentenced him to make a good movie. So this is just.


Ira Madison III Cease and desist.


Louis Virtel Part of his course correction.


Ira Madison III Cease and desist about making movies about race in America. Okay. You go back to where you came from.


Louis Virtel Abbie CORNISH’s placement alone deserved a slap on the wrist.


Ira Madison III And Innaritu’s latest film was panned.


Louis Virtel I’m kind of excited for him to have a fallout moment. We gave him an awful lot over a period of two years.


Ira Madison III We gave him too much because you know what?


Louis Virtel Yeah, right.


Ira Madison III Birdman. Absolutely not.


Louis Virtel I don’t know. I would have to see it again. I mean, I like certain I love Edward Norton in that movie. But you’re right, I do believe it’s a bit self-serious about.


Ira Madison III From the title alone.


Louis Virtel The Artist. Yeah. Oh, God, the title. Oh, God.


Ira Madison III The full title being Birdman or The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance. And the name of this one too is Bardo or False Chronicle of a Handful of Truths. How about you just pick a title, bitch? Are you Prince?


Louis Virtel Yeah. Lemony Snicket. Put the pen down, bitch.


Ira Madison III Thank you. Yes. All right. There’s Venice.


Louis Virtel Again, at least we have these great movies. We have Cate Blanchett in Tar coming out. We have Bones and All, which is supposed to be good. Maybe this Sam Mendez Empire of Light with Olivia Colman is something. Anyway, a lot to look forward to, and unfortunately we’ll be talking about it for the next eight months since I have a problem with the Oscars.


Ira Madison III Kiki Layne, just let us know you’re alive.


Louis Virtel Yeah, right. We’re right here.


Ira Madison III And one more thing out of Venice. I just want to shout out my girl Trace Lysette for being the first trans woman to headline a film at Venice. Also shout out to the 11.5 minute standing ovation girl. I’m very proud of you. And I can’t wait to see the film, Monica. We’ll be right back. Keep It. And we’re back with our favorite segment of the episode. It’s Keep It, Louis, what’s yours.


Louis Virtel This is a Keep It is pop cultural, but it has sucked me away from all other pop culture. And I resent this thing for existing because it’s doing exactly what it set out to do. My Keep It is to Pluto TV. I brought this up in the context of Pluto TV having a 24 hour a day Jeopardy channel where you can just watch Jeopardy all day. But truly, it’s just a service that sucks you in. And it’s the ultimate binge viewing experience in that anything you want to see, you can get an unlimited supply of it. I’m Pluto TV type in PlutoTV.com into your browser right now. Get the app whatever. It’s very it’s free. But this is not spon con for Pluto TV. I’m simply saying once you start, the course of your life is forever altered. There’s a buzzer which is a general game show network is on Pluto TV. I have seen so many old episodes of Classic Concentration recently, and I just want to say that matching prizes on a board should not be that compelling. And yet I cannot tear myself away. I cannot stop solving rebus of phrases like Don’t give up the ship or whatever. Yet after this taping of this podcast, I will go back to it. I can just watch it any time during the day. You can procrastinate with with Pluto TV, there’s an entire American Gladiators channel, and then I get lost in a like loop where I’m looking up the champions from American Gladiators, a show I’ve already brought up today in regards to the looks of Chris Pine, and I find out which contestants died tragically? One was murdered. It’s just a lot of pop cultural information that I don’t have anything to do with. Like I don’t get to come on, Keep It and then talk about guess what I did for the past 8 hours, pop culturally that I can share with you nothing because I’m lost in a loop that Pluto TV has provided. So anyway, it’s keeping me extremely useless recently, even though it is wildly entertaining.


Ira Madison III We’re going to get investigated by the SEC Louis. I need to see the back channels where Pluto TV is paying you.


Louis Virtel I know it seems like they own my ass. And I’m just shocked. I’m shocked that something like this only exists now. It feels like something that would have come out ten years ago, you know, because there’s all these old TV shows lying around, waiting to be, you know, we used to wait for these shows to be on DVD, but in particular, something like game shows, you would never buy something like that on DVD is this is a really appropriate forum for it.


Ira Madison III Do you think Pluto TV has all of Welcome Back Kotter?


Louis Virtel I mean, there’s tons of I mean, there’s constantly commercials for like The Mary Tyler Moore Show and things like that. So I have the feeling, you know, because.


Ira Madison III Like, been I’ve been a Welcome Back Kotter lately.


Louis Virtel Somebody else is various. Oh, no. Jimmy Kimmel, obsessed with Welcome Back Kotter comes up a lot.


Ira Madison III Oh, well, you know, me and Jimmy go way back.


Louis Virtel Yeah, that’s right. You. Jimmy and Vinny. Vinny. Barbary, the sweat hogs. I couldn’t think of their name. That’s.


Ira Madison III That’s all right. My Keep It this way goes to Jameela Jamil.


Louis Virtel And it’s the first time we’ve ever had a problem with her.


Ira Madison III It’s really crazy. It is. It’s been a while, you know. Right? She’s honestly left us, without a dope tape to step to. And here she is, um, responding in typical Jameela fashion to a Internet joke. The joke, of course, is that Lea Michele cannot read.


Louis Virtel And it’s a long standing joke. It’s like a folk tale at this point, you know? It’s like our Paul Bunyan. We’ve passed it down.


Ira Madison III It’s funny because. It started from someone just being I read the history of it once before and is like someone literally just made a joke online once that Lea Michele can’t read. And the way it took off is it’s just fascinating to me. And of course, it kept circling back after all the stuff came out about her being a bitch to people on the set of Glee. Like, sort of like being kind of racist, too. And so people started making the reading jokes again as a way, you know, to, you know, respond to, you know, the awful stuff that was coming out about her. It’s a joke. I don’t think any of us actually genuinely believes that this woman cannot read. But I do want to say that every opportunity she’s been given to prove that she can read, she has not done that. And all you have to do is all you have to do is say you can read girl. But The New York Times did a profile of her to coincide with the her funny girl debut, which is happening the night that we were tonight as we’re recording today. Her response is, I think it’s sad. I think it’s sad that people would say, I can’t read. I showed up to set every day. I knew my lines. Did you read them?


Louis Virtel I didn’t ask if you knew the lines. I’ve seen you say the lines. I know that came out of your mouth. I know that’s not ADR by somebody else talking about the reading. Can you read the lines?


Ira Madison III And then she also accused it of being sexist. I don’t think anyone would say this about a man.


Louis Virtel You know, meanwhile, people make jokes about men. Come on.


Ira Madison III Now. There are plenty of men. I doubt they can read. Maybe Aaron Taylor-Johnson for one.


Louis Virtel I saw Nocturnal Animals. I know he was given those. He learned those lines phonetically. I could tell.


Ira Madison III But in all of that, Jameela jumped in to defend her and. Somehow Jamela manages to be completely annoying in her defense of Lea Michele, but also incredibly rude to Lea Michele at the same time her. Jameela was put on Instagram. Not a voice note, by the way. So I’m not sure how Leia’s even going to read this. But, she wrote, I see a lot of people claiming a certain actress can’t read and then laughing at her. Whatever your issue is with someone and I don’t know this woman or anything about her, but laughing at the idea of anyone not being able to read makes you look like a prick, an elitist, ablest boor. It’s embarrassing for you, not them. Ma’am, in your defense of Lea Michele, did you have to say I’m sorry to this girl? I don’t know who you are.


Louis Virtel Also a certain actress. Can you just say her name? Like what’s the point of annonimity?


Ira Madison III I don’t know anything about them.


Louis Virtel Maybe you should read up.


Ira Madison III Which begs the question why are you so compelled to make an Instagram post about a woman you don’t even know?


Louis Virtel Oh, my God. Also, if I’m Lea michele and my assistant, whatever, it sends me a text and she’s like, Oh, something’s coming over the transom. Jameela Jamil is here to defend you. Guess what I’m doing? Quitting Funny Girl and also show business. I’m moving to a cave. I’m moving to South Dakota.


Ira Madison III I mean, that was one of the funniest lines in the Gossip Girl reboot. Maybe the only funny line. It gets worse. Jameela Jamil just defended you. Also to imply that it’s ablist to make a joke about a celebrity not being able to read is the wildest take I’ve ever heard.


Louis Virtel It’s just it’s just like the time we decided that Millie Bobby Brown was, like, a huge homophobe based on nothing. And there would be memes of her, like, holding a coffee cup and saying, Off I go to pour this on a fagot. Like, just we made that up. It’s based on nothing. I understand. If you’re Millie Bobby Brown herself, it’s probably uncomfortable as a very, very young person to hear people making jokes of this nature. Maybe you.


Ira Madison III That one.


Louis Virtel The online universe, but at the same time, it is just a joke. It’s not based on anything. Nobody’s like this. Colors my actual interpretation. Of who Millie Bobby Brown.


Ira Madison III And that one, by the way, I could see someone getting angry at. This.


Louis Virtel I mean, it’s like she has the f  word in all of her. All of the jokes. Yeah. Mm hmm.


Ira Madison III Come on.


Louis Virtel But again, as I saw several times, Lea Michele could just do a funny Instagram post where she’s reading a book and it’s upside down, and she’s like, Look at me enjoying this book.


Ira Madison III Listen, Pizza Hut is just waiting to partner with her to relaunch book it. Okay. So.


Louis Virtel Oh, my God. I personally had pizza with, like, Lea Michele faces on the pepperoni. Yes, that’s what I want.


Ira Madison III Oh. All right. Well, that’s our show this week. Thank you to Betty Gilpin for being back. An icon.


Louis Virtel And for being awesome. God, I just love having her on this show. Wasn’t just a cool celebrity, but course.


Ira Madison III We weren’t going to add a third co-host. But if Betty wants to do it.


Louis Virtel Right that’s what the seats for.


Ira Madison III So, um, and thank you as well to the cast of Don’t Worry Darling, for being completely irritating two weeks in a row.


Louis Virtel Keeping us fed. This is me doing. Circling my tummy lotion and licking my lips.


Ira Madison III I have wanted nothing but petty celebrity drama to come back. We had such like the first. This show has been going on for almost five fucking years. Our anniversary is in January. The amount of our show that was devoted to like dark celebrity drama like Kim and Kanye and then, you know, all the other shit that was going on, like 2018 and 2019. This is. This is pure, innocent fun.


Louis Virtel Yes. Right now the Azealia Banks’ and the Nicki Minaj is have not provided as much recently and we needed someone to take the reins and this is what happened.


Ira Madison III Although, did you see what Azealia Banks wrote about Sam Smith?


Louis Virtel No. Oh, no. What?


Ira Madison III Because I guess Sam was talking about her. And, you know, Sam has a song with Kim Petras coming out called Unholy. Azaelia wrote Sam Smith, please keep my name out of your buying mouth when I told you to give me a harmony lick style hook for Fuck Em All Night. It was too controversial for you. That or you’re just the most boring gay man on the planet. If I’m too controversial for music, get your stupid ass off Tik Tok. Keep on your Men’s Wearhouse suit and make the song for the Campbell’s Soup commercial cornball. No.


Louis Virtel I’ve said it before. Azealia Banks is extremely funny, but someone placed a curse on her that she will follow this up days later with something so raunchily offensive, but that you will regret having laughed.


Ira Madison III But until then, we’re going to leave you with Keep your Men’s Wearhouse suit on and make the Campbell soup commercial. Oh, and remember to check out full episodes of Keep It on the Uncultured YouTube channel and please rate and review us on your podcast platform of choice, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, Play, whatever. Just give us five stars. Give us four. I will hunt you down. We’ll see you next week. Keep It as a Crooked Media production. Our senior producer is Kendra James. Our producer is Chris Lord. Our executive producers are Ira Madison III.


Louis Virtel And Louis Virtel.


Ira Madison III Our editor is Charlotte Landes and Kyle Seglin is our sound engineer.


Louis Virtel Thank you to our digital team, Matt DeGroot, Nar Melkonian and Delon Villanueva for our production support every week.