Pumpkin Spice and Sad Bitches | Crooked Media
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October 20, 2022
Dare We Say
Pumpkin Spice and Sad Bitches

In This Episode

Sad Girl Autumn is upon us, and some of us are already crying to TSwift and wishing we had someone to snuggle. Josie, Alycia, and Yasmine get into the szn’s loneliness and learn that maybe, making friends and hanging with your loved ones is worth trudging through a foot of snow.

Show Notes
can i get a tissue? (the official Dare We Say sad girl playlist)
What Is Cognitive Dissonance?
Cuffing season: are people really coupling up just because it is winter?
Winter coating is the latest dating trend for cuffing season

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TRANSCRIPT

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Alycia Pascual-Peña: Hi. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Bonjour, ça va.

 

Josie Totah: Ni hao. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Hola. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: [hello in Arabic]

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Bienvenido. Ey. 

 

Josie Totah: I’m Josie. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: I’m Alycia. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: No, you’re not. Don’t do that. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Sorry. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Identity theft. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Okay. Yeah, the IRS is coming. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Actually, no. You can say you’re Alycia, I pay my taxes. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Oh. I’m good. I’m Yasmine. [laughter]

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: I’m Alycia Pascal-Peña. And this is, Dare We Say. 

 

Josie Totah: I feel like a cat today. I feel like a little cat that is just like [distressed sound] that’s just, like– 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Oh. 

 

Josie Totah: –been tuck in it keeps getting stuck because, like, I’m trying to climb up a cat tower but my nails keep getting stuck and I just keep falling and I just keep hitting myself in the face. And my owner is so old, and she’s literally, like, peeing on the carpet because she can’t even make it to the toilet. [laughter[ That is how I feel right now. Something I have a bone to pick. 

 

[Alycia and Yasmine speaking together] Okay. 

 

Josie Totah: Specifically with malls. We can go to Mars. We can, uh you know uh, communicate via cell phone. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Sure. 

 

Josie Totah: Yeah. You know uh, email. We are able to do open heart surgery. We can bring, uh you know, food and resources to to people that are in need by like flying planes– 

 

Yasmine Hamady: I’m like, where is this going? 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah, we’re scared. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: I’m like.

 

Josie Totah: But why can we not have Internet connection in a fucking mall? 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Okay. 

 

Josie Totah: Here I am– 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: There we are okay. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Yeah. Okay. 

 

Josie Totah: –In H&M. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Yeah. 

 

Josie Totah: I mean, not only was I on the phone with Alycia and trying to maintain a phone call throughout all of this, but being friends with me means being with someone who’s constantly getting their card declined because as a 20 year old woman who is self sufficient on my own money, I still have my money being delegated by my father. Um as a– 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: This is true. It declines–

 

Yasmine Hamady: And that’s an Arab dad and that’s an Arab dad. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: It declines multiple times a week. 

 

Josie Totah: So I–

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: And I wish we were kidding. 

 

Josie Totah: I have like $80 in my card, max, at a time. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: And honestly, Josie. Suheil knows– 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Shout out to Suheil. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: –Exactly what he’s doing. Suheil, I’ll go to war for that man. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Same I adore that man. 

 

Josie Totah: Uh. But nothing is more anxiety riddening then being at the uh front of of a super dry counter. And you just don’t have the Wi-Fi to connect to your phone so that you can load your card. And that is such a first you know world privilege–

 

Yasmine Hamady: World problem. 

 

Josie Totah: –Problem. Obviously. But here. I am and I’m still complaining, but it’s just like do we really have to make it that hard for people to connect to the Internet. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: To connect to Internet? [banter] So I just wanna– 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: This whole spiel, let’s get it on record. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Yes. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Was about you not having access to Internet. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Correct. 

 

Josie Totah: No, no, no. Because listen, because then I was stranded at the mall because not only could I not pay for the–

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Okay. 

 

Josie Totah: –jacket that I was trying to buy, but I couldn’t communicate with you, my friend, my sister, my fellow loved one. But I couldn’t even get an Uber home. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: So this is–

 

Josie Totah: Could I have walked, yes I could have–

 

Yasmine Hamady: This is a bigger, there’s a bigger issue. 

 

Josie Totah: I, I could have walked, but it would have taken 45 minutes. So I had to sit in a 30 for like 15 minutes to get an Uber. And that is why I’m late today. And I just needed to explain that to you, that I think that we as Americans need to stand up for more Internet connection in malls in the United Kingdom. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: I’m cutting y’all off. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Okay but– 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: I’m silencing you guys. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Okay, okay so– 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: I’m wait– 

 

Yasmine Hamady: That happened to Josie. That’s going on. So that’s horrific. A first world problem that happened to me was I bleached my fucking eyebrows. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: I can’t. 

 

Josie Totah: That’s a problem? 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: You you guys.

 

Josie Totah: That’s a, that’s not a first world– [banter]

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña:  Is that a problem? 

 

Josie Totah: That’s a first, that’s a first world solution, not a first world problem.

 

Yasmine Hamady: No, honestly, I think a first world [indistinct]–

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: It’s a problem with how people perceive you. Because you’re killing it. You’re doing amazing. I think it’s a problem because people are like, oh, are you not doing well? 

 

Josie Totah: Have people been asking you if you’re okay? 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Yes. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yes. Everywhere we go, it’s funny as fuck. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Everyone. Like literally at the comedy show that I performed at, someone was just like, I just wanted to like, pull you aside and ask, like, you, you’re okay, right? And I deadass go, yeah. My mom calls me, and she was like, I Yasmine like. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: What’s wrong? Are you okay? And I was like, Yeah. And she’s like, You’re. You look like white trash. And I might be trash, but it is not white. But it’s just like. It’s just very much. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Ay dios mio. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Alycia please. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: I’m. I’m. I can’t. You guys are– 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Cause she looks at me. When I saw her, Alycia screamed when she saw my fucking face. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: I thought you looked amazing. I told you that. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: You did. And honestly, like– 

 

Josie Totah: Did she not know it was going to happen? 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: No. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: I did tell people. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: No, I don’t think I expected how it was going to look. But you look amazing. Like you’re eating it up. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Like I do. I do. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: I’m proud of you. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: It’s giving Mia Goth. I’m like, if Bella can do this, if Bella Hadid can then so can I. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Wow, if you wanna bleach your brows, bleach your brows. You look great. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: No I am like–

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: But it’s funny cause people are like ay dios mio que estas pasando– 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Because– 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Like what’s happening? 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Exactly but I think it’s a great time for Halloween kind of changing up the character I’m kind of just going through this little thing right now I think because it’s fall right. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: And like autumn is happening the tre– 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: The the leaves are falling, the weather is–

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: –Getting colder, I’m like. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: There’s a shift everyone’s going through like. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Do you feel that? 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah, I think I feel like everyone’s transitioning into a new phase. Summer’s over. It’s starting to feel real. Like we’re needing to wear long sleeves. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Mmm. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Like booty shorts are out. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Mm hmm. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Um. If you don’t want to be freezing. So I think– 

 

Yasmine Hamady: And that. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: –That leads us into our conversation today. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: It does. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: We are going to be talking–

 

Josie Totah: About Roe v. Wade. No I’m just kidding. [laughter] Imagine that was the segue.

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: If you’re sad because it’s autumn, here’s a way to get sadder bitch. [laughter] But no, no, no. We will be talking about something else. Roe v. Wade is from the– 

 

Yasmine Hamady: That’s for that’s for–

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: –another episode. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: –Every other episode that we probably will be bringing up. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: We will. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: But. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: But today we’re going to be talking about all things fall and we’re going to get into why this season makes us so emotional and how fall nostalgia can both comfort us and teach us how to move forward. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: We’ll be right back. [music break] Hey, don’t forget to follow us at @darewesay on Instagram and subscribe to our YouTube channel to see our Beautiful Faces. [music break] All right. Do you feel that? Do you feel that? You guys, it’s cold. The leaves are falling. All of a sudden into the woods are playing. Wicked is on repeat, Phoebe Bridgers is on, Taylor Swift is on. It is fall. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Snaps. [starts snapping]

 

Yasmine Hamady: Hot girl summer is. I know and thank you so much. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Snaps. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: That is my audition.

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: I just went to a play. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Thank you. That is my audition. Thank you guys so much. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah yeah. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Um. Hot girl summer is over. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Ugh. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: She’s gone. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: No. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: She left the chat. 

 

Josie Totah: Rest in peace.  

 

Yasmine Hamady: Rest in peace. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: No. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Sad girl fall is here. Cozy boy autumn–

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Boo. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: –Is here. And as the weather gets colder, cuffing season begins. When people look to get coupled up. They want someone to cuddle up with. They want someone to hold their hand when they’re watching a cute little Halloween or holiday film on the Hallmark Channel while they’re watching over their granny. 

 

Josie Totah: Who doesn’t love a film with Christian undertones and a homophobic underlay. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Ah Lifetime. 

 

Josie Totah: The Hallmark Channel. [laughter]

 

Yasmine Hamady: Literally. 

 

Josie Totah: But. But I am looking forward to Lindsay Lohan’s– 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Oh yeah. Lindsay–

 

Josie Totah: –Lifetime netflix film. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: That’s– 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Oh, tea. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Oh yeah. That’s going to be good. But I kind of feel like as fall happens, I start to cry more. I start to text exes that I didn’t really like because I am feeling this lingering feeling of loneliness. I’m listening to sad music for the self-deprecating feeling, and I don’t know, I feel like this only happens in the fall. And this is our episode about fall. Okay, so first things first. What comes to mind when you think of fall? Josie, Alycia? 

 

Josie Totah: So something that I just want to make um clear is that you guys are in 88 degree weather. Maybe. Maybe it drops to the low seventies. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Ooo I feel some– 

 

Josie Totah: I’m out here in– 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: –animosity. 

 

Josie Totah: I’m in the fucking tundra. Okay.

 

Yasmine Hamady: Yeah you are. 

 

Josie Totah: I’m–

 

Yasmine Hamady: Yeah you are. 

 

Josie Totah: I’m. I’m in the forties. I’m going out [laughter] to a club in a puffer jacket. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Please. 

 

Josie Totah: How the fuck am I supposed to cut a line of 86 Scottish women if my tits can’t hang out of a low rise– 

 

Yasmine Hamady: So true. 

 

Josie Totah: –Top when I’m– 

 

Yasmine Hamady: So true. 

 

Josie Totah: –In a north face coat. You don’t, you don’t cut lines in clubs in north face. You know what you cut lines in, pretty little thing uh Victoria Secret uh 2014 uh Lingerie that you use– 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Corset. 

 

Josie Totah: –A a top. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yes. 

 

Josie Totah: With some Topshop skinny jeans. Throwback to the moment in my life.

 

Yasmine Hamady: Please not the Topshop. [laughter] 

 

Josie Totah: Okay. But. But I am struggling. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Yeah. 

 

Josie Totah: How are you supposed to be a whore? Not that I want to be, but how could I be in the winter? I am–

 

Yasmine Hamady: And that’s pro-choice. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Aspirational. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: And that’s why I’m pro-choice.

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Aspirational. 

 

Josie Totah: I am a California girl, born and bred. You know what, the coldest winter I’ve ever had is a summer in San Francisco, and that is the truth. So I’m–

 

Yasmine Hamady: That’s a tweet. 

 

Josie Totah: –Struggling out here today. I just bought [sound of crinkling bags] [indistinct]

 

Yasmine Hamady: She’s moving out of camera. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Ooo she left camera.

 

Yasmine Hamady: She left camera. 

 

Josie Totah: I had to go to the store and buy a coat. A puffer coat. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: She has a coat, a fur coat. It’s obviously faux. We stand with the animals. But.

 

Josie Totah: Yeah we do um so anyways. So that’s how I feel about it. I’m struggling and I’m adjusting to it, but [crinkling sounds of tearing paper] ugh okay sorry. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Alycia? 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Um. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: The fall? 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: The fall for me. Uh. For me, I don’t know. I’m going to be honest. Like, not to be a Debbie Downer. I don’t love Fall starting. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Is that right? 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: I know you’re not surprised because we have our continuous debate about temperature. I like it being hot. I like being in shorts and a skirt. I want to go to the beach. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: So annoying. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Take the be-each [mumbling indistinct]. 

 

[Alycia and Yasmine singing together, Nicki Minaj’s Starships] They say what they’re going to say. Have a drink, clink found the Bud Light, Bad bitches like me is hard to come by. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: The patrón–

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Ok alright. Shout out Nicki. Anyways I don’t want to be like having to layer up like I people that are like ugh I just can’t wait to wear fall cl– like I don’t agree with you. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Why does that sound like me? 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: That is you. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Why does that sound like me? 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: And it’s annoying me like I’m confessing right now. I’m over it like I want to be in hot clothes, um but I will say I am super, like, sentimental. So I love, like, having hot cocoa–

 

Yasmine Hamady: Mmm. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: And like, I’m having more teas and– 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Chai. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yes–

 

Yasmine Hamady: Pumpkin spice, bitches. 

 

Josie Totah: Gilmore girls.

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Absolutely not. Wait. Did you know the lead of that is Latina? 

 

Josie Totah: Yeah, I just found that out, Alexis Bledel. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: I found that out this week. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Who? 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Which I love. 

 

Josie Totah: Alexis Bledel– 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Pero– 

 

Josie Totah: –who is an icon, lead of Gilmore Girls and also star of Handmaid’s Tale. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: She’s Latina? 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: She’s Latina. She’s amazing. Super talented. Yeah. Pero. All that goes to say I’m always like ay dios mio it’s going to get more cold which I don’t love but you know I love, like, autumn colors. The leaves are beautiful like being in New York fall is stunning. But um as a Caribbean girl, anyone that knows me knows I want it to be as hot as possible. So, you know. But I think it always signifies for a lot of people like a transitional period in their life. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Mmmm. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Like things are shifting, emotionally your questioning things. People get a little bit more introspective because you’re inside more and you’re changing your activities more like you’re not going to the day parties at the beach no more. So you’re figuring it out. How about you, Yasi? What does fall mean to you? How are you feeling in this state? 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Mmm. Well, I feel like next week Taylor Swift is dropping her Midnight’s album. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yes. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: And so, like, for me, uh when I think of the fall, I think of and like winter time, I think of us in Joshua Tree when it was really cold. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Mm hmm. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: And like that time, remember last, was it last year we all went to Joshua Tree and like had our little, we were in puffer jackets. We stayed inside. We had a fire out like I love that type of shit. 

 

Josie Totah: It was literally 65 degrees. Yeah.

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: I was gonna say we we’re so spoiled because– 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Okay okay yeah [?] 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: –That isn’t winter to anybody else but us. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Alright. It was 65 degrees. I know climate change is really real, um but like for the fall, what I love to do is like at night I light a candle. It’s very much like holiday scented. I lit my Christmas candles, like this weekend, you guys. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Ay dios mio. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: I listened to Taylor Swift’s Red album, and I sit in the shower. I sit in the shower, not a bathtub, a shower with the lights off. And I just sit and listen to the music and [starts singing] everything is red. Red. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: So would you say you enjoy the fall? 

 

Yasmine Hamady: In the simplest of terms, I romanticize and I love the fall. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Mmm. I love that we have like all very different ideas of fall. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Of fall and like what it means. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: But it’s here. 

 

Josie Totah: I remember last fall, Alycia and I were so depressed and we were like, we almost went to Mexico with like 10 hours of notice. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah. 

 

Josie Totah: But then something happened where we didn’t. I think we went to Vegas. Does the fall like make you guys sad? Because for me, when September hits, it is if my body just decides to combust and become a shell of who I used to be. And I feel like I’m finally coming out of it in October like and I feel like October is like I’m healing now I’m ready–

 

Yasmine Hamady: Yeah. 

 

Josie Totah: –To thrive. But September was hell for me. How do you guys feel about like. Like, are you guys sad right now because of the fall?

 

Yasmine Hamady: That question. 

 

Josie Totah: Or or does it bring you–

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Are you mentally unwell right now? 

 

Josie Totah: Or does it bring you joy? Are you joyful because of it? 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Um. It does not bring me joy. Sincerely, being in New York this season was always super rough for me and I don’t know why. But there’s that idea, like the body carries trauma. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Mm. 

 

Josie Totah: Mm hmm. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: So and there’s a book about that– 

 

Josie Totah: The body keeps the score. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah, which I implore you to read. 

 

Josie Totah: I think I bought you that book. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah, you gifted it to me, which um thank you so much for that. She was like, you’re not okay. Do this. No I’m kidding. But she loves me and we love um improving ourselves. But I think the body, like, carries trauma. And this season, when I was in New York, I was miserable because at this time it’s actually getting really cold. Um. You know, when I was in college, I’m starting to have to walk to classes like in snow or just that fall weather where it start to get gross. You’re getting less sunlight, which biologically like does affect people– 

 

Yasmine Hamady: No– 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: And then– 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Seratonin actually decreases in the winter and fall. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Exactly. And then also, I learned, like, even though I didn’t want to acknowledge it, my body was like, whether you like it or not, this is true. Like during the fall and winter seasons, I I struggle a bit more with my lupus. Um. So traditionally the fall is not my happiest of time. I know that I need to hunker down and really be reflective and do what I need to do to preserve my peace. But um I’m really grateful I’m at a better place right now than I usually am in the fall, um and I think it’s mainly because of the beautiful people that I have surrounding me. Like, I’m still finding a lot more joy in this season than I usually do, and that is rare for me. So I’m really grateful for that um because historically Josie just said it. We were not good last year at this time at all. We got through it together and that’s what I’m doing now. So how about you, Yasi? Historically, what has fall meant to you? Like this new sad girl season? Now it’s like coined, right? Like sad girl autumn? 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Sad girl autumn. And that is coined by isn’t it Miss Taylor Swift who coined it? 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Tay Tay. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Yeah. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah. 

 

Josie Totah: Antidepressant autumn. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Antidepressant autumn which I am on, shout out venlafaxine effexor. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yay take care of yourself. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Take care of yourself. I think for me I like struggle between two different like sides like. I. I love the fall because I just my body temperature always just runs high. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Mm hmm. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: So I like it when it’s colder because I’m more genuinely comfortable. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: But I also, like, romanticize and glorify, like, the sad girl tumblr aesthetic, not aesthetic, but like that no genuinely that feeling of like– 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: I think you kind of like. Yeah, like– 

 

Yasmine Hamady: I get more like–

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: That aura, right? 

 

Yasmine Hamady: That aura, I kind of. I reflect inwards. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: But I get more lonely in the fall and the winter. And I tend to. I have a past of reaching out to people who uh– 

 

Josie Totah: Ex-es. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Ex-es. I reach out to ex-es that I actually don’t really even– 

 

Josie Totah: Long lost lovers. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Long lost lovers that like I start replaying all the good parts in my head of my life. 

 

Josie Totah: Which there’s actually a word for that. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: What is that? 

 

Josie Totah: Winter coating. Which refers to people who reach out to previous partners during cuffing season. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Me. 

 

Josie Totah: In order to nab an easy seasonal partner. And Winter–

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Tea. 

 

Josie Totah: –Coaters may get back in touch with old flames right as the temperature drops, but they’re gone as soon as the snow thaws away in spring. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Ooooh. 

 

Josie Totah: Or– 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Okay. Well, also that going on with that, too. Testosterone is actually boosted in the winter and fall. Did you guys know that, so a lot of times– 

 

Josie Totah: Maybe that’s why I’ve become a bigger cunt.

 

Yasmine Hamady: Please. Literally same. But also a lot of times men– 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: I did not know that. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: –Men are more likely–

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Fun fact. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: –To get into relationships and give people like get into relationships and then break their hearts come February. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: So essentially, if you’re getting with someone right now, you guys don’t– 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Essentially they– 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Like each other. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: –Don’t even like and that–

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: You guys, don’t like each other. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: And I genuinely think about that. Some of my friends who are like talking to these people, I’m like. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Ooh. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: I’m like, and this is also with me. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: You don’t like that, man. You don’t like that girl. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Do you actually like this person or are you just lonely? 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Tea. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: And that’s something–

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: And–

 

Yasmine Hamady: –I have to think about, too. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: I want to ask you. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Go on. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Do you feel like you’ve been doing better this fall at not doing that and being aware and perceptive that you’re just yearning for companionship rather than enjoying that person? 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Oooh, that seems targeted. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Okay. Okay. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Um. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: I’m going to make the question broader. How do we engage in cuffing season or do you even engage– 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Well– 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: –Like how are you engaging this season? Because I’m asking I’m asking– 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Because you’re looking at me because, you know I’m talking to people. You know I’m. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Pero how and how do you feel like the fall has to do with that? Because also this is a term that like my I was talking to my mom this morning, we were just catching up. And I was telling her about the podcast and I was like, Yeah, we’re going to talk about cuffing season. She’s like, What is that? And I was like, Oh, girl. Like. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Well. I I think. I feel like right now I’m still on my healing journey um from this summer and just life. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Mm hmm. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: And so. And I’m learning to love myself wholeheartedly without someone being there. And I’ll never get over, I say this in, like, a different episode, but when Josie sent me the um article about what is it called Josie?

 

Josie Totah: It’s called cognitive dissonance. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Cognitive dissonance. Thank you. So I’m constantly having that in the back of my head. But I think right now I’m just enjoying talking to people. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Without there being the pressure of maybe something happening. And I think for me, like when it gets cold, I want someone physically there. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Mm. Do you feel like you need it more than you do like the rest of the year? 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Yes. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Mmm. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: 100– because it’s colder I want to be under the blankets with someone and like have that feeling with them and like be intimate, you know. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Without even like about it being about sex. But, like, I want to– 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: –Have a candle on. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Of course, yeah. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: I want to be watching the leaves fall and all that bullshit whatever. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: You want company. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: I want a companion. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: And I think that’s more in the fall and the winter whereas in the summer and the spring, like I’ll, I’ll make my rotations in one night. Like, do you know what I mean? I’m a surgeon doing an all nighter, like. 

 

Josie Totah: What. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: I’m doing the night shift. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Period. Power to you. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: What about you?

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Um. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Where are you right now with this? 

 

Josie Totah: Well Alycia. She’s kind of won fall, I guess. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Um. I’m really happy right now to just be, like, committed, you know. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Mmm. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: To one person and–

 

Yasmine Hamady: Yeah. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: And I. I, But also, I’m. I’ve been like that. I’m either like, I don’t like date like around. So like when I do–

 

Yasmine Hamady: You have people on rotation, you have people on like you have a roster but never they’re they want you. You don’t want them. Does that make sense? 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Oh, that does make sense. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Like you have, you have people who want to court you. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: [laugh] See, and like I feel like so old fashioned saying that. But like I think because of how I conceptualize romance, like I didn’t really engage in cuffing season. Like, I’m either with someone and I’ve decided to get to know them and I want to be loyal to them or I’m just like, yeah, I’m cool on my own. Like, um I think it’s funny because people will like, will be hot girls and be outside, outside. And then I’m currently watching a lot of my friends like experience anxiety and kind of like struggle because they’re like, damn, like, who’s going to be my cuffing season person? Um. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Yeah. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: But yeah. But I think even prior to cuffing season, there was someone that I genuinely care about and we are just growing together. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Yeah. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: And I’m really grateful for that. Um.

 

Josie Totah: I’m really proud of you. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Thank you so much. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Yeah. 

 

Josie Totah: Can I just say the only reason why me personally I wouldn’t want to have people know that you’re in a committed thing right now is honestly it has nothing to do with your emotional comfortability because obviously like I care about that, but it’s more about like I, I just I know that there’s men out there that are, like, obsessed with you. And I kind of love the idea that, like, there’s a mystery. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Yeah, we want to keep them obsessed. 

 

Josie Totah: Like. I want them to keep them obsessed, cause, like, I just know, like, I don’t know. I think a part of our friendship is my love for the men that, like, are desperate to be with you. And just like playing with their hearts.

 

Yasmine Hamady: That is so fucking funny and specific. Wait. Okay, so let’s turn it around. Josie. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah Josie, how do you but yeah. I don’t know if I answered your question. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: You did though. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah, essentially I don’t really engage in [someone coughing in background] cuffing season, like if I happen– 

 

Josie Totah: Yasmine’s like shut up. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: –To be with someone. Yeah, I’m scared. Like, no, I want to make sure I answer properly. But um. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: You did. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Okay okay good, yeah. I don’t engage in cuffing season, but if I happen to be with someone during that time, like of course it makes me happy, but I’m also super like awful, which I don’t want to pursue relationships. So it has to happen organically and like– 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Which it is. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: –For for me to feel supported and stuff. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Give yourself credit though you just said, you were– 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Thank you. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: –bad at it. When like you’re in something healthy, right now. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Thank you. Yeah. But I’m I’m grateful for the person in my life um right now, but, you know, that’s life. How about you, Josie? How do you feel like you’re engaging with cuffing season? 

Josie Totah: The only thing that I’m cuffing is my jeans. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Okay. Slay. 

 

Josie Totah: Um that. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: I’m screaming. 

 

Josie Totah: That I wear out the house. Um.

 

Yasmine Hamady: Please. 

 

Josie Totah: I think in the past. I may have lied to myself and just been um like like purposely unclear to myself about what I want, just so I can experience like connection and warmth and stuff like that in the fall. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Mm. 

 

Josie Totah: But I’m the most honest with myself that I’ve ever been, and I’m just not wanting to waste my time in the way that I have wanted to before, which I don’t blame myself for. So I am being just extremely upfront and honest about, like, my life and what I want. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah. 

 

Josie Totah: And that just means that there’s just a smaller basically pool of people um to choose from. And I think that’s okay. And I think it just means it’s like a little bit harder for me, you know, being a little T girl, being a doll or whatever. Um. But just because, you know, I think in life things are harder for a lot of people in different ways. And this just– 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah.

 

Josie Totah: –Is like a case for me that happens to be a little bit more difficult. But I’m grateful for it because it forces me to be so clear about who I am and be so proud of who I am and like just be so much more comfortable being open with not only my femininity, but my trans identity in a way that I never have been before until this fall. So I’m very happy about that. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: I’m super proud of you. Like you want to be intentional with your time. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Do you think it’s because you’re maybe like in a new place for the first time for a long period of time and you’re actually experiencing different like the shift in the weather. You living independently? Well do you think maybe that has to do with it? 

 

Josie Totah: Yeah, I think I’m experiencing a newfound independence. And it’s funny because most of my like cuffings or whatever, like the people that I’ve been hanging out with recently are like just people that I’m making friends with. And I think I haven’t really been in a situation before where I had to make friends because I’ve been so grateful to have such a fat circle of community back home in the States. And so now I’m like meeting random people at like, um you know, tennis, uh what’s it called places. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: You love tennis, you fucking love Tennis. 

 

Josie Totah: Or like. You know, meeting people at bars and stuff that I’m just like, Oh my gosh, like you, you major in that. Like that’s so sick. Or you’re a grad student, like, let’s be friends. So I’m kind of friend cuffing right now. Um which I–

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Ooo I love that. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Love. 

 

Josie Totah: –Genuinely love because I just I haven’t– 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: That’s cool. 

 

Josie Totah: –Really it’s like not I’m grateful because I know it’s hard for some people to, like, make friends and to connect with people, but it’s always been easy for me to, like, get into a weird, deep conversation with someone at the club. But, like you’re always– 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Because you’re everything.

 

Yasmine Hamady: Everyone just they– 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: We love you yeah. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: –tell you their family and life trauma at– 

 

Josie Totah: They they–

 

Yasmine Hamady: –In the bathroom line. 

 

Josie Totah: Oh my gosh. This man. We were talking about suicidal ideation in the–

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Oh wow. 

 

Josie Totah: –Front row of this jazz concert this–

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Oh. 

 

Josie Totah: –Other night, me and this um guy from Birmingham. But you always say at those moments like, oh yeah, we should grab coffee. But I’m actually doing those things like, I’m– 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: I love that. 

 

Josie Totah: –Riding the bus with random people. I’m like going to dance classes and like riding home with people that I meet that night obviously being safe. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah yeah yeah. 

 

Josie Totah: But like I’m, you know, taking this time to just, like, connect and like even with when it comes to guys that like, may think that I want something like romantic, like I’m just straight up with them. Like there’s a guy that I um uh was texting with who I was actually supposed to hang out with this week, and I was like, Oh, and I met him on FaceTime. Oh, I met him in L.A. but then I met him again on FaceTime here. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Mm hmm. 

 

Josie Totah: Because he’s in Scotland and he was with his friend. I was like, Oh, bring your friend. And he was like, he responded something weird. And I was like, Oh, I I literally just want to make friends. Like, I hope, you know that. Like, I might–

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: No but that’s super important. 

 

Josie Totah: –Have to tell him I’m like a furry to get him to stop flirting with me, but um I’m just like, No, I do want to just yeah, I’m just in a friend making era. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: No– 

 

Josie Totah: And I’m obsessed with it. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Friend cuffing. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: I think that’s so important. 

 

Josie Totah: Yeah. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: And I feel like that’s something I really admire about you two specifically. And like in our friendship is that we’re always eager to make friends with people because I feel like the older we get, the less likely like, I’ve noticed that a lot with like people you are less likely to make new friends the older you get because you get very comfortable in the circles you already have. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Mm hmm. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Which is absolutely fine. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Especially LA, depending on– 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Especially LA. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: –where you like, it can be even more cliquey. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: 100%. But like for example, like both of you guys have such incredible friends that are now mine, so mine are now yours and it’s just seeing you like have this conversation at the front row of a jazz club like Alycia, you making friends randomly at a dinner. I’m going to, I’m going for a wine night with this girl that I’ve met over Zoom. Like, as friends. Strictly as friends. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Because we’re doing a movie together and we’re like, let’s bond beforehand. 

 

Josie Totah: Oh okay okay. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: And like, let’s let’s– 

 

Josie Totah: That makes so much more sense. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Yeah, like, let’s– [banter] 

 

Josie Totah: I didn’t know if she’s just like a random girl joined your zoom link. And then let’s [indistinct]. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Could you imagine? 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: And now she’s my friend. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: I do that once a week where I’ll put a zoom link out on Twitter. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Shut up.

 

Yasmine Hamady: No I don’t do that. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Shut up. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: But. Our our–

 

Josie Totah: Can I just say too like for for the 1% of actors that are listening to this who may be away like filming a show– 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: You mean .5? [laughing]

 

Josie Totah: Yeah maybe the .007. It’s just like I just people are just so fucking full of themselves and it’s like. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Mmm. 

 

Josie Totah: Why not [?]? Why just spend time with your fucking cast? Like, that gets so boring when you could literally get out and like make friends with random people and like, some of them recognized me from um like, childhood and whatever. And like, I don’t know, that’s not a weird thing. Like, it’s cool. Like, it’s something to be grateful for and something to, like, connect on. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Yes! 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah. 

 

Josie Totah: And it’s like, you know, we can talk shit about people back then and like, I don’t know, it’s just so fun and like, I like, just get out of your own fucking head, like [indistinct] people that are just aren’t aren’t just actors, but like who gives a fuck if they’re not in your sorority or if they’re not in your fucking major, if they don’t even go to your school, if they’re a random person that [indistinct]. If you want to talk to someone, fucking talk to them like we’re all human beings. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah. 

 

Josie Totah: And no one is worth more than another person unless you are literally um worth more um like financially, but like you’re still like, you know– 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: You’re um. 

 

Josie Totah: –Just as good as

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: You’re you’re cut off. 

 

Josie Totah: –a human. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: You’re cut off. 

 

Josie Totah: But anyway. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: No, but I think– 

 

Josie Totah: I’m just kidding. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: I think that’s such a good lesson, like especially during this time right where, like, people are battling with loneliness and seasons are changing or they’re not feeling–

 

Yasmine Hamady: Seasonal– 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: –As seen. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: –Affective Disorder. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah. Like seasonal depression is a very real thing. I didn’t and I feel so naive saying this now, but I didn’t know that was a thing till I got to college. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Mmm. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: And I genuinely had friends look me in the face and go, I have seasonal depression. And I was like, wait, like what what, what does that mean? 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Well you were in upstate New York. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: I was in upstate New York, and that’s a very real thing. We got such little sunlight. We were walking to classes in eight feet of snow. Teachers weren’t gracious for the fact that you’re dealing with not only like the adversity and obstacles of being in school, but also like the weather and us not having transportation and all that stuff. But all that goes to say like that is such a lesson. And Josie actually told me this week, like, she randomly went to a Black student union meeting at the University of Edinburgh. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Shut up! 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: And I was just like– 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Bravo. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Bravo, and I was just like– 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Bravo. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: I was like people in general just need to do that more. Like life can get so complicated. It is so short. Like, puts yourself out there. Like, I promise you the pros of what you’re going to win by meeting this new person and having this random connection is so much greater than, like, your fear. Right? And also, like– 

 

Josie Totah: 100%. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Exact–

 

Josie Totah: Even if it means walking into a room where you look like a pale little boy. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: You do not. Shut up.

 

Josie Totah: But you know what. They they accepted me and they loved me. And they were like– 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Of course. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah. And like– 

 

Yasmine Hamady: How could they not? 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: And she made friends. And I’m like, people don’t do that enough in life. Like, go to a random dance class, especially right now. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Yes. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: If you’re dealing with seasonal depression or you’re dealing with the fact that you don’t love the fall like me or like Jos like, go do something new. Like do something–

 

Josie Totah: I agree. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: –That serves your spirit. 

 

Josie Totah: Get out. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Challenge yourself. 

 

Josie Totah: Get out of your own head. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah. 

 

Josie Totah: Sometimes the worst thing you can do is just stay in your bed and like, I know what it’s like to like actually. You know, not want to go outside now, not just because of emotions or because of physically, but it’s like, you know, bundle the fuck up and like walk across the street once and walk back and also start with small goals. And that’s something– 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah. 

 

Josie Totah: –that I tell my friends all the time, especially my friends, that like have a bit harder time getting out of their own way. It’s like start small, you know maybe it’s not hitting up that girl from work and asking her to get coffee. Maybe that’s too much, but maybe it’s like engaging in a fucking conversation with her. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Yes Josie. 

 

Josie Totah: You know, saying like, maybe you learned something from her that day or you’re like, you know, you asked to get on your lunch break. You asked to like, you know, go go to Starbucks with them. It’s like you don’t have to set your expectations so high because then you’re going to constantly, like, feel like you’re not living up to your own expectations and you’re failing yourself. But start small, go out there, take a class, take a shot and get dick if you want to or not.

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Absolutely. Period.

 

Yasmine Hamady: I think it might– 

 

Josie Totah: Or fuck yourself. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: That’s true. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: And I this is something for me too to remember is not to seek out these romantic or sexual relationships because I’m lonely. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: But seek out the platonic that actually make me happy. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: What did Josie say earlier? I was obsessed with it, friend cuffing. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Friend cuffing. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: So I think we’re going to start something new here at Dare We Say. And so forget the relationship cuffing season it’s now friend cuffing season. Let’s make–

 

Josie Totah: And you can hook up with your friends I gue– if you want? 

 

Yasmine Hamady: If you want. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: As long as it doesn’t get weird after like waking up next to your bestie and was like was that good like that’s odd but all in all. 

 

Josie Totah: And and you are not you’re not alone. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: You’re not alone. No matter how much you think you are– 

 

Josie Totah: We we want to make– 

 

Yasmine Hamady: –You really are not. 

 

Josie Totah: –That clear. Like. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah. 

 

Josie Totah: You are not and like–

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: You’re not alone. 

 

Josie Totah: –I think– 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: You are special. You are loved. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Yes. 

 

Josie Totah: It can be easy to feel like you’re under water specifically during this time, but like doing little tactics to make yourself stay afloat is like so helpful. And to know when you’re spiraling and to know when you’re getting into a state of, like, catastrophasizing. It’s so important to be, like, aware of your emotions and to talk to someone about it, even if it’s a friend or a therapist or even if it’s in our comment section, like or– 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah. 

 

Josie Totah: DM-ing one of us like–

 

Yasmine Hamady: No. Seriously. 

 

Josie Totah: Just talk about it and know that like, you know, it’s only a season. [music break]. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Coming up. The Ickuation Room. [music break]

 

Josie Totah: This is, as you guys know, the most divided social and political discourse of our time. Yes, you know it. I’m Judge Josanna and we’re in the Ickuation room. As you guys know, 30 seconds on the clock for both parties to give their spiel based on one topic that is on the board. And we can only choose one ick or one yum. Today’s topic on the board is vomit versus diarrhea. Would you rather [higher pitched gross sound] or [lower pitched gross sound]? [laughter] You can decide which one is that? All right, you guys, diarrhea goes first. 30 seconds on the clock diarrhea. [gavel sound]

 

Yasmine Hamady: We’ve been doing diarrhea since we fucking came out of the womb. Like, I remember taking the fattest shits when I was, like, a fetus. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Wait what [indistinct]. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: And and I feel like. And I feel like we’re more our bodies and our mental states are more used to diarrhea than we are used to vomiting. And it’s literally a cathartic bile that comes out of your fucking mouths rather than just coming out of your ass cause shit’s coming out of there anyways rather than what you ate for breakfast and lunch coming out of your esophagus. So in that case, I feel like throwing up and it’s also just it burns you and ruins your teeth, whereas, I mean, you’re just having shit up out of the ass. 

 

Josie Totah: All right, that’s enough. [gavel sound] And I now– 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: I actually feel uncomfortable. 

 

Josie Totah: –now I want to have diarrhea from that. Um. All right, vomit. Take it away [gavel sound]. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Okay. Obviously, vomiting is better than diarrhea. You know why? 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Why? 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Because vomiting on your first date isn’t as bad as [laughing], like, explosively shitting on your first date.

 

Yasmine Hamady: Are you kidding me? 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Like I feel– 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Your breath’s going to smell like fucking bile. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Why are you talking during my time? 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Sorry. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Don’t make me Nicki Minaj your ass, anyway. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Are you a Nicki fan? 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Are you a Nicki fan even? Vomiting is just it’s–

 

Josie Totah: Ten seconds. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: –Not as embarrassing it’s not as taboo. Like yes it’s not ideal but you can vomit in front of people and it’s like, oh, it’s okay. You can’t shit on people. [laughter] Like like if you– 

 

Josie Totah: I mean. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: If you shit on me, I’m killing you. But if you vomit on me, that’s happened before baby– 

 

Josie Totah: Okay enough, enough. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: –It’s okay let me clean you up. 

 

Josie Totah: Time. Please that’s–

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: She was taking my time. 

 

Josie Totah: No no no no no no no no no you guys. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: She just stood up. She just stood up. Alycia just–

 

Josie Totah: [gavel sound] I need order in the court. Please sit down. Please take a seat. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Maxine Waters reclaiming my time anyways. 

 

Josie Totah: I do not have– 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: I respect you judge. Go! Pero you, no. 

 

Josie Totah: –the time for this. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: They hate me. 

 

Josie Totah: Take a seat. [drum roll] I’d rather shit any day I, I remember, I could go on and on. But I won’t. But remember the time I shit my pants at Coachella? 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah. 

 

Josie Totah: Remember the time that I– 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: –Shit your pants on camera and then you talked about it during your press tour. 

 

Josie Totah: Oh, and then I oh– 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: –with me, and I just. 

 

Josie Totah: And then the time that I had to, in the car and I pulled over in Compton and I had to clean myself in a gas station, and I made a friend. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: So obviously you pick diarrhea over–

 

Josie Totah: Yeah. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: –Vomiting. Damn. 

 

Josie Totah: And so for that reason, I picked that. And I also would say thank you guys for coming and shitting. Adjourned. [gavel sound] [music break]

 

Yasmine Hamady: Well, I guess then I can ask both of you. Do you guys want to be my friend and watch a movie with me? And and we can cuddle listening to to Phoebe Bridgers and we can be together… 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: If you stop talking like that yes. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: We can be together and be cute? 

 

Josie Totah: I’m like 6000– 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Stop. 

 

Josie Totah: –Miles away. So like– 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Stop. 

 

Josie Totah: No, but you can Facetime me. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Okay. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: I’ll cuddle with you. I already have. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Can we get that on camera, Alycia said she’s going to cuddle with me. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Actually, I take it back. I plead the fifth. I’m not doing none of that. 

 

Josie Totah: This is a quote my mother sent me and I think it was on a pillow. So take this–

 

Yasmine Hamady: It’s like it’s– 

 

Josie Totah: –with a grain of salt. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Live, laugh, love or Rosé all day. 

 

Josie Totah: Take. Take it with a grain of salt. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: It’s five o’clock somewhere.

 

Josie Totah: But she said that freedom is at the edge of your comfort zone. So all my sad girl antidepressant autumn women. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yes. 

 

Josie Totah: Go to the edge of your comfort zone. Edge. Start edging, [laugh] and that’s all. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Yeah. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Well, I didn’t think that that’s where we would end this episode. But thank you so much for your wise words Josie. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: So um edge. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Yeah. 

 

Josie Totah: Love you all. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: So uh we love you and uh hang out with us next week. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: See you then. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: Bye kiddos. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Bye! 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: [kiss sound]

 

Josie Totah: Dare We Say is a Crooked Media production. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: Caroline Reston is our showrunner, producer and mommy and Ari Schwartz is our producer and show daddy. Fiona Pestana is our associate producer and Sandy Girard is the Almighty Executive Producer. 

 

Josie Totah: It’s hosted and produced by me, Josie Totah. 

 

Yasmine Hamady: And me Yasmine Hamady. 

 

Alycia Pascual-Peña: And me, Alycia Pascual-Peña. Vasilis Fotopoulos and Charlotte Landes. They are both our engineers. Brian Vasquez is our editor and theme music composer. Our video producers are Matt DeGroot, Narnineh Melkonian and Delon Villanueva and Mia Kellman. 

 

Josie Totah: Lastly, thank you to Jordan Silver, Gabriela Leverette, Jesse McLean, Caroline Heywood, Shaina Hortsmann, Deisi Cruz, Danielle Jensen, and Ewa Okulate for marketing the show and making us look so damn good.